Teri Schwartz Movies

1999  
PG13  
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When Frank Sinatra sang "If I can make it there, I'll make it anywhere, it's up to you, New York!" he probably didn't have the same odds in mind that line up against Henry and Nancy Clark in The Out-Of-Towners. Henry (Steve Martin) is an advertising man from Ohio who runs his life on an exacting schedule. His wife Nancy (Goldie Hawn) feels the spark has gone out of their lives together. After 24 years of marriage, their children are grown and nothing is tying them to their old home, so they decide to take a stab at relocating to New York City. Henry arranges a job interview in the Big Apple, they schedule a flight into Manhattan, and from that point on, anything that can go wrong does go wrong. Henry and Nancy's flight is delayed, their luggage is lost, their hotel reservations are cancelled, they're accosted by muggers, the cab they're riding in gets in a wreck, Henry is accidentally drugged and Nancy ends up in a group therapy meeting for sex addicts. The Out-Of-Towners is an updated remake of the 1970 comedy scripted by Neil Simon; the original version starred Jack Lemmon and Sandy Dennis as the hapless Midwesterners. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide

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Starring:
Steve MartinGoldie Hawn, (more)
1997  
 
Goldie Hawn garnered favorable reviews with her TV-movie directorial debut, a family drama set against the backdrop of racism in the American South of the early '60s. While in 1962 the Cuban Missile Crisis generates fears among adults, 12-year-old Lilly Kate Burns (Jena Malone) dreams of a career as a dancer. The problem is how to escape her dreary small-town existence, where she's surrounded by her mother (Mary Ellen Trainor), a stroke victim; her bigoted Uncle Ray (J.T. Walsh), a theater owner; her dejected Aunt Emma (Christine Lahti); and her alcoholic dance teacher Muriel (Catherine O'Hara). In addition to young Billy (Lee Norris), Lilly is also friends with black minister Jediah Walker (Jeffrey D. Sams). Uncle Ray has provided only a single exit in his theater, and when a young black boy dies in a theater fire, the tragedy sparks and inflames local racial conflicts. Uncle Ray is charged with wrongful death, and Lilly contemplates the nature of truth and justice. Filmed on location in Anderson, Texas. ~ Bhob Stewart, All Movie Guide

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Starring:
Jena MaloneChristine Lahti, (more)
1994  
PG13  
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Arguably the least successful of the many feature film spin-offs of Saturday Night Live television sketch characters, this comedy barely won a quick theatrical release. Julia Sweeney stars as the titular Pat Riley, an obnoxious, drooling nerd of mind-boggling androgyny. Pat is also a bit of a klutz, which leads to his/her dismissal from a range of workplaces, including a sushi bar and the United States Postal Service. As a next door neighbor, Kyle (Charles Rocket), becomes obsessed with distinguishing Pat's gender, even to the point of seducing Pat and stealing his/her diary, things begin looking up for the plucky hero/heroine. Pat meets a significant other, the equally sexless "Chris" (Dave Foley), gets engaged, and wins fame and success as a frank radio talk-show host. The real-life rock band Ween also plays a significant role in Pat's misadventures, casting him/her in a rock video after catching Pat's cringe-inducing musical performance on the TV show "America's Creepiest People." Despite a rumored rewrite of the script by Sweeney's hip longtime friend Quentin Tarantino, the film was considered one of the year's biggest turkeys. ~ Karl Williams, All Movie Guide

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Starring:
Julia SweeneyDave Foley, (more)
1993  
PG  
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James Lapine, whose Broadway credits as a writer/director includes work with Stephen Sondheim, made his Hollywood debut with this comedy. Michael J. Fox plays Michael Chapman, who once upon a time was a wise-cracking child star on a situation comedy called "Life With Mikey." Now in his thirties and on the skids, Michael makes personal appearances at grand openings of hamburger stands, and runs an unsuccessful talent agency (specializing in kids) with his brother Ed (Nathan Lane). The agency's only successful client is Barry Corman (David Krumholtz), a fourteen-year-old with an attitude who is known as "the cereal king" for his appearances on television commercials. Ed is trying to talk Michael into closing the agency and Barry is threatening to go elsewhere when a sprightly 10-year-old reprobate named Angie (Christina Vidal) tries to pick his pocket. When Angie delivers a heart-rendering tale of questionable honesty about being an orphan from Queens, Michael realizes that Angie would be perfect for a Sunburst Cookie commercial. She clicks in the commercial, and both her career and the agency's soar. In the meantime, Angie movies in with Michael, and as they bond, Michael realizes how to act like an adult and Angie realizes how to act like a child. ~ Paul Brenner, All Movie Guide

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Starring:
Michael J. FoxChristina Vidal, (more)
1992  
PG  
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A sleeper hit that received a lukewarm reception from critics but was a success with audiences, Sister Act (1992) was star Whoopi Golberg's first bona fide smash after her Oscar victory for Ghost (1990). Goldberg stars as Deloris Van Cartier, a Reno lounge singer who accidentally witnesses a brutal murder carried out by her gangster boyfriend Vince (Harvey Keitel). Under the protection of a detective (Bill Nunn) who's trying to bring down Vince's criminal operation, Deloris is placed in protective custody at a San Francisco convent. Masquerading as a nun renamed Sister Mary Clarence, Deloris shakes up the established order of the sisters' lives, particularly enlivening their choral efforts. Although running constantly afoul of the Mother Superior (Maggie Smith), the new, jazzed-up musical act becomes a huge hit in the community, even drawing the attention of the Pope, but also alerting Vince to Deloris' whereabouts. Although credited to the pseudonymous Joseph Howard, Sister Act was actually written by Paul Rudnick and Carrie Fisher. The film was followed by a sequel, Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit (1993). ~ Karl Williams, All Movie Guide

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Starring:
Whoopi GoldbergMaggie Smith, (more)
1991  
R  
Charles Lane directed Andy Breckman's script, based on an old "Saturday Night Live" sketch of Breckman's that featured Eddie Murphy. Comic Lenny Henry takes Murphy's place in True Identity as a black man forced to don white face in order to save his life. Henry plays Miles Pope, an agreeable British actor whose luck sours when he finds out that businessman Leland Carver (Frank Langella) is actually a notorious underworld mobster. Carver now wants to rub Miles out and the only way that Miles can escape Carver's retribution is to disguise himself as a man named Frank LaMotta, the Italian-American killer that Carver has hired to kill him. During the story, Miles finds that he has to assume a variety of roles to keep from getting shot --a gay real estate agent, a British lord, James Brown's brother Val, and even Othello. But the biggest shock for Miles comes when he plays the white man and discovers that he is given preferential treatment --not only by whites, but also by blacks and Hispanics. ~ Paul Brenner, All Movie Guide

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Starring:
Lenny HenryFrank Langella, (more)
1991  
PG13  
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Goldie Hawn delivers a surprisingly understated performance (allowing the audience to shift their laughter from the usually comic Hawn to the unbelievable storyline) in the unsuccessful thriller Deceived. Hawn plays Adrienne Saunders, a successful art restorer who is married to Jack (John Heard), a devoted husband who is also an expert in the antiques business. Married for six years and parents of a charming 5-year-old daughter Mary (Ashley Peldon), the Saunders appear to have everything going for them. But after a series of odd occurrences that even an idiot would notice, Adrienne finally comes the conclusion that her husband is not the man she thought he was when she married him. After Jack tells Mary that he was in Boston but Adrienne's friend tells her she saw him in New York, the mysterious clues begin piling up and are too numerous to ignore: there's a call from a department store concerning some sexy lingerie that Jack purchased; a friend is found murdered after checking on the authenticity of an Egyptian necklace; and there are indications that Jack was involved with a scheme to steal artifacts from a museum. Adrienne is finally convinced that something is fishy about her husband when he mysteriously dies is an auto wreck, and she discovers that Jack has been using the name of a man who had died 16 years earlier. Adrienne proceeds to polish her magnifying glass and conducts some detective work on her own to find out who her husband really was. This is when the danger really begins. ~ Paul Brenner, All Movie Guide

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Starring:
Goldie HawnJohn Heard, (more)
1990  
PG  
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Academy Award-winning screenwriter John Patrick Shanley's first foray into the director's chair is a quirky romantic fantasy, featuring Bo Welch's signature production design. Tom Hanks plays Joe Banks, a man who hates his job, thinks the overhead fluorescent lights are making him sick, and quakes at the presence of his boorish boss Frank Watori (Dan Hedaya). He is attracted to the office secretary DeDe (Meg Ryan) but is afraid to speak to her. Then his life changes when he visits Dr. Ellison (Robert Stack). Dr. Ellison tells Joe that he has something called "a brain cloud" that is rapidly spreading throughout his brain. He will feel great, but he'll be dead within five months. Instead of being depressed at this bleak prognosis, Joe suddenly feels free. He quits his job, asks DeDe out, and is contacted by a rich millionaire named Graynamore (Lloyd Bridges). Graynamore owns an island named Waponi Woo, whose natives need to be placated. The natives require a sacrifice to their island volcano, the Big Woo, so that the island won't sink beneath the Pacific. Graynamore offers unlimited wealth to Tom in exchange for Tom's becoming the object of human sacrifice. Joe has nothing to lose, so he accepts the offer. As he heads out to the island, Joe meets Graynamore's daughters -- Angelica, a Los Angeles socialite, and Patricia, Angelica's blonde half-sister (both roles played by Ryan). Joe arrives at the island, and as he stands at the lips of the Big Woo he has to decide whether he really wants to leap into the maw of the fiery volcano. ~ Paul Brenner, All Movie Guide

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Starring:
Tom HanksMeg Ryan, (more)
1988  
 
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Based on a novel by Iris Rainer Dart, Beaches traces the 30-year oil-and-water friendship between free-spirited Bronx Jew CC Bloom (Bette Midler) and uptight San Francisco WASP Hillary Essex (Barbara Hershey). The two meet as children in Atlantic City (played by Mayim Bialik and Marcie Leeds) and are reunited in the 1960s, when CC is a struggling singer and Hillary is trying to break free from her staid upbringing by becoming an activist. The two ladies room together, then fall out when both are attracted to off-Broadway producer John Pierce (John Heard). CC wins John, but she quickly outgrows him as she matriculates into a bawdy performer. The recently patched-up friendship between CC and Hillary is torn asunder again when Hillary and her new husband express distaste for CC's performing style. Comes the 1970s, and CC and Hillary are reunited after shedding their respective spouses. Broke again, they once more become Manhattan roommates. Their bond strengthens, but there is tragedy in store for the duo. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

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Starring:
Bette MidlerBarbara Hershey, (more)
1987  
R  
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High-priced hooker Barbra Streisand has been arrested for the murder of one of her clients. The attorney engaged by Streisand's parents hope to cop an insanity plea so that she can avoid a trial and manslaughter conviction. But she refuses this, citing a proviso in New York law that may result in her spending the rest of her life in an institution. Against all odds, struggling lawyer Richard Dreyfuss tries to prove that Streisand is not crazy and capable of standing trial. Dreyfuss certainly has his work cut out for him: from what we've seen in the film thus far, the violently impulsive Streisand is not only "nuts," but certifiably so. Though she has plenty of opportunity in Nuts to give out with her usual bravura Streisandisms, Streisand (who also produced the film and wrote the songs) is surprisingly restrained through most of the proceedings. And then there's that extended-monologue climax. Nuts was adapted by Tom Topor, Darryl Ponicsan and Alvin Sargent from Topor's stage play. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

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Starring:
Barbra StreisandRichard Dreyfuss, (more)
1984  
PG  
A remake of Pigeon by Mario Monicelli, but set on the streets of San Francisco in a contemporary America instead of Italy in the '50s, this comedy about a conspiratorial heist of a greedy pawnbroker has excellent acting and good light fun but not much in the way of character motivation. Weslake (Donald Sutherland) is unemployed and has reason to frequent the pawnshop of his money-hungry friend Garvey (Jack Warden). People come and go around the shop (almost the only setting for the action): an aspiring musician of sorts (Sean Penn), the eccentric meter-maid Maxine (Christine Baranski), a safe-cracker (Irwin Corey), and others. Then one day Weslake gets the idea to break into Garvey's safe and make off with a few valuables just for the fun of it. Everyone agrees, and the plot goes on unhindered by motivation or ethics. ~ Eleanor Mannikka, All Movie Guide

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Starring:
Donald SutherlandJack Warden, (more)
1978  
 
This hilariously awful killer-bee epic from director Alfredo Zacharias features surprisingly good special effects and horrible acting. Cult favorites John Saxon and Angel Tompkins star as scientists trying to deal with a U.S. invasion by trillions of sentient bees. The bees want humans to stop polluting the environment and they enlist Saxon to deliver their ultimatum to the United Nations. As Uncle Ziggy, John Carradine, before being shot by hitmen, delivers his dialogue as if speaking through dry heaves in a bad German accent. There are some exciting scenes of mass destruction as swarms of bees attack large crowds (including the Rose Bowl Parade, where President Ford is seen briefly) and then Saxon comes up with a plan. His proposal suggests the use of a chemical which turns the bees homosexual ("That reminds me of a certain neighborhood I know in L.A.," says one delegate). Eventually, Saxon goes to the U.N. to deliver the bees' message, only to meet with scorn. Naturally, billions of bees then burst into the room to plead their case. There are some well-done plane crashes, the bee scenes are realistic and incredibly numerous (a scene where they carpet Saxon's bedroom is astounding), and the storming of the U.N. is a classic. But all of this is compromised by annoying geometric wipes between scenes and some of the worst writing and acting to ever survive the cutting-room floor. Oddly enough, the same year's big-budget The Swarm would not improve on any of these areas, and is not as funny as this film either. ~ Robert Firsching, All Movie Guide

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Starring:
John SaxonAngel Tompkins, (more)
1976  
R  
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Allan Arkush and Joe Dante co-directed this campy spoof of exploitation films -- Roger Corman's schlock factory in particular. Candice Rialson stars as Candy Wednesday, a movie hopeful who wants to be a star. Her slimy agent Walter Paisley (Dick Miller) directs her to the portals of Miracle Pictures, where she lands a plum role in the film "Machete Maidens of Maratau." Lead actress Mary McQueen (Mary Woronov) becomes jealous, and a series of disturbing murders occur, culminating in a shoot-out on top of the Hollywood sign. ~ Paul Brenner, All Movie Guide

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Starring:
Candice RialsonMary Woronov, (more)

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