Neil Machlis Movies

When her adoptive mother Joan Crawford died in 1977, erstwhile actress/author Christina Crawford and her brother Christopher were left out of Joan Crawford's will, "for reasons which are well known to them." Industryites have suggested that it may have been this posthumous act of rejection rather than an alleged lifetime of parental abuse that inspired Christina Crawford to pen her scathing autobiography Mommie Dearest. The 1981 film version of this tome was evidently meant to be taken seriously, but the operatic direction by Frank Perry and the over-the-top portrayal of Joan Crawford by Faye Dunaway (whose makeup is remarkable) has always seemed to inspire loud laughter whenever and where-ever the film is shown. According to the film (and the book that preceded it), Joan Crawford was a licentious, child-beating behemoth, who stalked and postured through life as though it was one of her own pictures-more Strait-jacket than Mildred Pierce. This is the film with the notorious "wire coat hanger" scene, just in case you need a reminder. Surprisingly, one emerges from Mommie Dearest with more sympathy for the monstrous but intensely vulnerable Crawford than for her whining daughter (played as an adult by Diana Scarwid, and as a child by Mara Hobel). Our favorite scene: Joan Crawford dazedly replacing her ailing daughter in the cast of a daytime TV soap opera. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

Based on a Stephen King novel, Cujo is not as menacing or as frightening as other film adaptations of King's popular stories and especially cannot compare to the 1976 Carrie. Cujo is a happy St. Bernard until he is bitten on the nose by a rabid bat and slowly begins manifesting the symptoms of his fatal illness. His condition deteriorates as he attacks people again and again, until finally, mom Donna Trenton (Dee Wallace) and her son Tad (Danny Pintauro) are trapped inside the family car with Cujo lurking nearby, set to kill them any way he can. A showdown is inevitable but is as predictable as the rest of the film. ~ Eleanor Mannikka, All Movie Guide

This spoof of the 1930s and '40s crime stories ranges from the ridiculous to the sublime as it tells the story of Johnny Dangerously (Byron Thames as the young Johnny, Michael Keaton as the older), a devoted son to his ailing mother (Maureen Stapleton), so ill that she needs money for several operations. Johnny has nowhere to turn, and because gangsters tend to flourish in his neighborhood he goes to work for Dundee, a benevolent godfather-gangster type, in order to cover his mother's medical bills. Johnny hides his association with Dundee from his younger brother Tommy (Griffin Dunne) and goes so far as to pay for Tommy's law school fees -- supporting him until Tommy joins the staff of the local (and corrupt) district attorney's office for Burr (Danny DeVito). When Johnny starts working for Dundee, he clashes with the evil Vermin (Joe Piscopo) right from the beginning, but things only get worse. After Dundee decides to retire, Johnny ascends to the helm, and it does not look like Vermin is going to take that sitting down. ~ Eleanor Mannikka, All Movie Guide

Were it not for its profanity-laden opening scenes, John Hughes' Planes, Trains and Automobiles might have been suitable family entertainment: certainly it's heaps less violent and mean-spirited than Hughes' Home Alone. En route to Chicago to spend Thanksgiving with his family, easily annoyed businessman Neal Page (Steve Martin) finds his first-class plane ticket has been demoted to coach, and he must share his flight with obnoxious salesman Del Griffith (John Candy). A sudden snowstorm in Chicago forces the plane to land in Wichita. Unable to find a room in any of the four-star hotels, Neal is compelled to accept Del's invitation to share his accommodations in a cheapo-sleazo motel. Driven to distraction by Del's annoying personal habits, the ungrateful Neal lets forth with a stream of verbal abuse. That's when Del delivers the anticipated (but always welcome) "I don't judge, why should you?"-type speech so common to John Hughes flicks. The shamefaced Neal tries to make up to Del, but there's a bumpy time ahead as the mismatched pair make their way back to Chicago, first in a balky train, then by way of a refrigerator truck. We know from the outset that the oil-and-water Neal and Del will be bosom companions by the end of Planes, Trains and Automobiles, but it's still a fun ride. The best bit: a half-asleep Del thinking that he's got his hand tucked between two pillows -- until his bedmate, Neal, bellows "Those aren't pillows!" ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

In Peter Yates' crime drama An Innocent Man, Tom Selleck plays Jimmie Rainwood, a stock figure airline maintenance supervisor with a perfect family. Then, one day, Jimmie decides to take a shower. While scrubbing himself clean, two crooked cops are getting themselves dirtier. Mike Parnell (David Rasche) and Danny Scalise (Richard Young) are the kind of bad cops who bust the drug dealers, steal their supply, and sell it back to the local drug lords. On this day, unfortunately for Jimmie, they get the wrong address and bash down his door. When Jimmie comes out of the bathroom wielding his hair dryer, Parnell and Scalise think it is a gun and shoot him. Realizing their mistake, they cover themselves and frame him as a drug dealer. Jimmie refuses to take a plea and he is sentenced to six years in the slammer. In the brutal prison environment, he is taken aside by long-timer Virgil Kane (F. Murray Abraham), who gives him a bleak collection of options to chose from in order to survive prison. After seeing a prison gang rape, Jimmie chooses the kill-or-be-killed selection and stabs to death the nasty black convict who has been bothering him. After three years, Jimmie is released on parole, and he tries to pick up his life again. But Parnell and Scalise return to threaten Jimmie and his family. Realizing that his prison lessons must be carried over into civilian life, he sets up a situation in which the bad cops' drug dealings are revealed, and Jimmie prepares for a final reckoning between the cops and himself. ~ Paul Brenner, All Movie Guide

Emile Ardolino directed this treacly sequel to Three Men and a Baby. The middle-aged trio of doting fathers -- Peter the architect (Tom Selleck), Michael the cartoonist (Steve Guttenberg) and Jack the actor (Ted Danson) -- have returned, sublimating their swinging bachelor instincts in order to raise 5-year-old Mary (Robin Weisman). The child of Jack and Sylvia (Nancy Travis), Mary was abandoned by Sylvia in the foyer of the boys' apartment house in the first film. In five years, Mary has grown from a diaper-filling infant to a cute kid who insists that the guys sing rap songs to her before she goes to bed. Sylvia now also lives with the bachelors as she pursues a promising Broadway career. Peter, Michael, and Jack dote on the moppet and parenthood has rarely seemed more idyllic. But Sylvia once again disrupts their placid existence. Accepting the marriage proposal of British director and surly cad Edward (Christopher Cazenove), she announces that she and Mary are going to move to England, leaving the boys high and dry. When it turns out that Edward is secretly planning to ship Mary away to a boarding school after the marriage, the three guys race frantically to disrupt Sylvia's wedding. ~ Paul Brenner, All Movie Guide

Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey find the two obtuse pals battling The Grim Reaper, God, robots, great philosophical questions, and girls -- although not necessarily in that order. In this loose parody of the Terminator movies, directed by Peter Hewitt, the ultimate has happened -- at Bill and Ted University of the future, for many years now the people of the world have been "excellent to each other." But fed-up with Bill and Ted's peaceful world and even more fed up with heavy metal, the evil De Nomolos (Joss Ackland) decides to do something about it. De Nomolos creates a cyborg Bill and Ted, who travel back in time to kill the original Bill and Ted, win the Battle of the Bands and pave the way for the hellish reign of De Nomolos. In the past of 1990, Bill (Alex Winter) and Ted (Keanu Reeves) are immediately dispatched by the time-traveling cyborgs. And while the cyborgs Bill and Ted make time with the real Bill and Ted's girls (Sarah Trigger and Annette Azcuy) and prepare to take the real Bill and Ted's place in the Battle of the Bands, Bill and Ted are forced to deal with Hell ("Just like an Iron Maiden album cover"), the Grim Reaper (William Sadler), and God himself. When Bill and Ted are asked the secret of the universe, they get it right and as a reward a pair of Martians construct a set of "good" Bill and Ted robots to go head-to-head with the "bad" Bill and Ted robots at the Battle of the Bands. ~ Paul Brenner, All Movie Guide

Legendary scientist Albert Einstein (played here by Walter Matthau) takes a break from theoretical physics to try to set up his intellectual niece with a handsome auto mechanic in this romantic comedy. The movie's central conceit is that Einstein's brilliance extends to matters of the heart, allowing him to immediately sense that Ed Walters (Tim Robbins), a bright, lower-class mechanic obsessed with Popular Science Magazine, would be perfect for his niece Catherine (Meg Ryan). Unfortunately, Catherine is already engaged to a stiff Princeton man. In order to defeat Catherine's resistance, Uncle Albert decides to help Ed pretend to be a revolutionary scientist, a charade that inevitably leads to much farcical confusion. Einstein's scientist pals are portrayed as a Greek chorus of Catskills-style kibitzers, featuring such notable perfomers as Lou Jacobi as Kurt Godel and director Gene Saks as Boris Podolsky. ~ Judd Blaise, All Movie Guide

Director Mike Nichols teams up with his former partner/screenwriter Elaine May for the first time in many years and for the first time together in films to create this sophisticated, remake of the phenomenally popular French musical farce La Cage aux Folles that stars Robin Williams, Nathan Lane, Gene Hackman and Diane Wiest as two dramatically disparate couples who manage to reconcile their vast differences for the sake of their children who are getting married. Williams plays Armand Goldman, the owner of a popular South Beach drag club known for putting on elaborate showcases starring his long-time lover/wife Albert (Lane) who appears as "Starina." Lately poor flamboyant, flighty Albert has been in crisis over the inexorable onset of middle age. He has been moody, paranoid and unbearably. When he gets too inconsolably distraught, handsome but clumsy houseboy Agador quietly slips Albert "Pirin" tablets (which he explains to Armand are simply Aspirin tablets with the "as" scraped off). Still though Albert can be a royal pain, Armand dearly loves him and the two live happily in their splendiferous apartment above the club. One day Armand's son Val (the result of Armand's single foray into straight sex) comes visiting with joyous news: he has found his dreamgirl and is getting married. The only trouble is, Barbara Keeley's father is the blustery ultra-religious right-wing Senator Keeley (Hackman), the founder of the Coalition for Moral Order. Senator Keeley and his colleagues are not as upright as they seem and when his closest associate is found dead beside a black, underage prostitute, Keeley finds his house surrounded by ravenous newshounds, hungry for dirt. Knowing that they are poised to ruin him, Keeley and his proper but slightly addled-wife (Wiest) decide that a big, elaborate, church wedding will be just the ticket to save his reputation. Barbara has neglected to tell them that Val's parents are gay, preferring to claim that they are members of the South Beach social elite. In a panic, she panics and calls Val who breaks the bad news to Armand and begs him to make the apartment less flamboyant and worst of all to hide Albert (who functioned as Val's mother while the youth grew up) during the visit. Armand is angry, but loving his son, finally, reluctantly agrees, knowing that he will deeply wound his companion. Unfortunately, Albert finds out and as a compromise tries to learn how to be macho so he can pretend to be Val's uncle, he is too much the Great Dame to ever pass as one of the guys and so is banned from the party. Armand then locates Catherine and asks her to masquerade as his wife. She agrees to show up later that evening. Meanwhile their friends busily redecorate the apartment until it looks as if it were done in "Early Inquisition." During the fateful dinner party, Catherine is late and Albert gets uproarious revenge. Achingly comic chaos ensues as Armand tries to hold the increasingly tenuous evening together while outside the newshounds bay and threaten to make even more trouble for Senator Keely. ~ Sandra Brennan, All Movie Guide

Can a homophobic former rent-a-cop find happiness learning to sing with a man in a dress? That's the big question in this comedy-drama. A retired security guard (Robert De Niro), deeply conservative and set in his ways, falls victim to a debilitating stroke. His doctors prescribe an extensive program of physical therapy once he's released from the hospital, including singing lessons to help him regain his full powers of speech. As it turns out, there's a vocal instructor living next door to the guard, so he signs up only to discover that his new teacher is a flamboyant drag queen awaiting a sex-change operation (Philip Seymour Hoffman). Written and directed by Joel Schumacher, Flawless also stars Wilson Jermaine Heredia and Daphne Rubin-Vega, both of whom first gained notice in the Broadway musical Rent, as well as Rory Cochran and Barry Miller. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide

Mark Osborne directs this dark Hollywood satire about TV, suicide, and good lighting. L.A. couch potato Emile (Kent Osborne) gets so much satisfaction from television -- particularly sitcoms and nature documentaries -- that it borders on the indecent. While not watching the telly, he plots his own demise. One day, in the throes of a messy suicide attempt, he gets a call informing him that he landed a job at a nearby motel. Emile is soon assigned the nightshift with dour, officious Henry (David Koechner). While on break, he ventures into a massive, fluorescent supermarket where he slips into a bizarre state of consumeristic bliss, drifting among the aisles. But like his TV binges, this trip soon devolves into thoughts of offing himself. He resolves videotape the deed and send the tape to the girl who jilted him. Unfortunately, such a task cannot be done alone, so Emile soon enlists the help of Henry, who in turn brings in self-proclaimed movie expert Andrew (Vince Vieluf). Before long, Emile's simple desire to record his final act has turned into a full-scale production, complete with gaffers, make-up artists and Hollywood types traipsing about with their cell phones. In the midst of all this, Emile is rethinking the whole deal, especially the part about him committing suicide. His handlers, however, are less than eager for him to stray from the script. ~ Jonathan Crow, All Movie Guide

Eddie Murphy returns as a doctor with a gift for talking to animals in this sequel to a box-office blockbuster. Murphy is John Dolittle, who this time around attempts to save an endangered Pacific forest from lumber industry forces by reintegrating an endangered species of bear back into the wild. Unfortunately, Dolittle's candidate is a performing bear (voice of Steve Zahn) with a taste for junk food and no natural skills in the wild. If Dolittle is going to save the species and its habitat, he must get him to mate with a fussy female (Lisa Kudrow) by providing lessons in winning the heart of the opposite sex. Dr. Dolittle's problems are compounded by a local animal work stoppage and furry woodland creatures who have organized their own version of the Mafia. Norm Macdonald returns as the voice of Lucky the Dog, co-starring with Kevin Pollak, Jeffrey Jones, Michael Rapaport, Molly Shannon, Reni Santoni, and Kristen Wilson. ~ Karl Williams, All Movie Guide