Stephen Jones Movies
Action star Steven Seagal crosses Rip Van Winkle with Clint Eastwood in this belabored revenge odyssey. Seagal plays L.A. Detective Mason Storm and, over the opening credits, Storm is seen busily eavesdropping on crooked politician Vernon Trent (William Sadler). Once he has the goods on Trent, Storm phones his partner Kevin O'Malley (Frederick Coffin) to report on his progress. Unfortunately, crooked cops in the same room pick up the extension phone and listen in, thereby dooming Storm. Soon killers show up at Storm's home and blow away Storm's wife Felicia (Bonnie Burroughs) and their young son. Storm himself is also assumed dead, but when he is taken to the hospital, he lapses into a coma. O'Malley spirits him away, and everyone else, for all intents and purposes, thinks Storm has died. Seven years later, under the tutelage of incredibly beautiful nurse Andy Stewart (Kelly LeBrock), Storm rises from his coma and plots his revenge. With the able assistance of Andy, Storm heads off on a killing spree, becoming (as one character describes him), "the most unstoppable sonuvabitch I ever met." ~ Paul Brenner, Rovi
- Starring:
- Steven Seagal, Kelly LeBrock, (more)
Written and directed by the ever-unpredictable Jim Jarmusch, Mystery Train is comprised of three short anecdotes involving foreign tourists in Tennessee. Each story is set in a fleabag Memphis hotel which has been redressed as a "tribute" to Elvis Presley. Story one involves two Japanese tourists whose devotion to '50s American rock music blinds them to everything around them. Story two finds eternal victim Luisa (Nicoletta Braschi) sharing a room with stone-broke Dee Dee (Elizabeth Bracco) and having her problems solved by a spectral vision of the King. And story three offers the further misadventures of Dee Dee, her no-good boyfriend, and her dysfunctional family. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
- Starring:
- Masatoshi Nagase, Youki Kudoh, (more)
- 1987
- R
This uneven comedy came and went quickly in commercial release. An American triathlete (Mark Neely) trains for an upcoming event, with the main competition coming from a pretty Russian exchange student (Terry Farrell). Billy Barty excels in his character role as a diminutive Russian, and the slapstick rivalry between the two event announcers and some sight gags help but fail to bring this feature to the finish line. ~ Dan Pavlides, Rovi
- Starring:
- Mark Neely, Terry Farrell, (more)
- 1981
Mary Beth Allen (Barbara Eden), the widow of a member of the long-defunct Eagle Rock Rebels motorcycle gang, supports herself by running a small campground. Unfortunately, the future of this enterprise is endangered by the arrival of several young punks who have been scaring off the customers and leaving a trail of destruction in their wake. Riding to the rescue are Mary Beth's old pals, the ex-members of the Rebels, who have gathered at the camp for their 25-year reunion. Along the way, Mary Beth falls in love with the Rebels' now middle-aged leader, Sonny (Don Murray). The fun to be had in this made-for-TV movie is seeing such sitcom stalwarts as M*A*S*H's Jamie Farr and Soap's Robert Mandan in black leather jackets astride their souped-up Harleys. Return of the Rebels made its CBS network bow on October 17, 1981. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
- 1981
- PG
Harry Hamlin stars as the self-styled "King of Mulholland Drive," the leader of a group of men who get drunk and then race their cars at high-speed along a perilous Los Angeles roadway. ~ Jason Ankeny, Rovi
- Starring:
- Harry Hamlin, Joseph Bottoms, (more)
Foxes details the exploits of four teenage San Fernando Valley girls as they drink, dope and sleep their way into oblivion. Jeanie (Jodie Foster, in a standout performance), the most grounded of the quartet, deals with her burned-out working-student-mother (Sally Kellerman, also excellent) while playing mother to her cohorts; Annie (Cherie Currie), a promiscuous drug-vacuum, attempts to dodge her psychotic police officer-father while partying round the clock; Madge (Marilyn Kagan), an overweight tag-along, who tries desperately to fit in with her wilder friends; and Deirdre (Kandice Stroh); an insecure liar and also-ran. While the performances (particularly the aforementioned) are good, and the direction is solid, the script doesn't seem to go anywhere; maybe that's the point, though, since neither do the characters in their vacuous, instant-gratification-based existences. ~ Jeremy Beday, Rovi
- Starring:
- Jodie Foster, Scott Baio, (more)
- 1979
Gil Gerard plays Buck Rogers, an American astronaut who awakens after 500 years in space to find a Draconian princess scheming to take over planet Earth. Of course, he is mistaken for a spy and must not only save himself but the galaxy as well. This sci-fi feature was intended as a pilot for the television series. ~ Kristie Hassen, Rovi
- Starring:
- Gil Gerard, Pamela Hensley, (more)
- 1977
- PG
In this supernatural western, Confederate veterans of the last battle of the Civil War set out to find a hidden treasure: a cache of diamonds hidden in a cave. However, the soldiers find out that the cave is guarded by a covey of hawks -- and they begin to suspect that the hawks might actually be agents of the Devil, in disguise. ~ Brian Gusse, Rovi
