Joseph Hoffman Movies

During a scuffle between Buffy (Anissa Jones) and Jody (Johnnie Whitaker), Buffy's beloved doll Mrs. Beasley suffers a broken arm. Bill (Brian Keith) rushes the damaged plaything to a doll hospital, while Buffy frets over the fact that Mrs. Beasley is due to go "under the knife." And even if the surgery is successful, will Buffy's hurt feelings ever be mended? ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

In a situation predating The Brady Bunch by a full year, Bill (Brian Keith) meets Margaret Williams (Coleen Gray), an attractive widow with three children of her own. Remarkably, Margaret's kids are virtual clones of Bill's nephew Jody (Johnnie Whitaker) and nieces Buffy (Anissa Jones) and Cissy (Kathy Garver) (there's even a set of twins!) At first, the kids are delighted that they're all so much alike--but delight turns into despair and downright hatred when the Williamses and the Davises spend a weekend together. The scene in which Buffy's counterpart greedily tries to claim Mrs. Beasley as her own may be the most harrowing in the series' history! ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

This very economical remake of the 1952 Errol Flynn vehicle Against All Flags stars Doug McClure in the Flynn role. Cashiered from the royal navy in disgrace, McClure becomes a buccaneer, guiding his loyal crew to an island completely populated by cutthroats. Here he links up with pirate-captain Guy Stockwell and lady-swashbuckler Jill St. John. The plot comes to a head when the pirates conspire to hold lovely Middle-Eastern princess Mary Ann Mobley for ransom. McClure comes to her rescue and routs the rascals, revealing along the way that he's been working under cover on behalf of the king (a fact rather given away by the title). The most fascinating moments of The King's Pirate concern a pair of well-proportioned belly dancers, who keep the other pirates occupied while McClure goes about his business. The camera lovingly and longingly records each bump, grind, and wiggle, allowing the audience to get its mind off the creaky plot contrivances. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

The unexpected arrival of notorious "coward" Jason McCord (Chuck Connors) in a small town proves to be both surprising and embarrassing for a young ne'er-do-well named Tuck Fraser (Larry Pennell). Thanks to a series of incredible circumstances, Tuck is being lauded by the local populace as the man who has finally killed the much-hated McCord. Now that Jason has turned up very much alive, Tuck is forced to desperate measures to retain his undeserved reputation. This is the first of several Branded episodes directed by Larry Peerce, whose later film credits include Goodbye, Columbus and Two-Minute Warning. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

Helen Gurley Brown's self-help best-seller was the nominal source for this Hollywood sex romp, directed by Richard Quine, co-scripted by Joseph Heller and David R. Schwartz, and starring Tony Curtis and Natalie Wood. Tony Curtis plays Bob Weston, a writer for the scandal sheet "Dirt," who is working on an article on research psychologist Helen Gurley Brown (Natalie Wood) and her best-selling book Sex and the Single Girl. Bob needs to interview Helen, but she refuses to see him. Bob impersonates one of her neighbors, Frank Broderick (Henry Fonda), as a ruse in order to see her on the pretext of marital counseling. After several meetings, Bob attempts to seduce her; after they fall out of a boat and head back to Helen's apartment to dry out, Bob plies her with martinis. Rip-roarin' drunk, Helen confesses her love for Bob. He assures her it's fine, since he's not legally married, but Helen doesn't believe him and asks to meet his wife, Sylvia (Lauren Bacall). To fill up the breach, Bob mistakenly sends both his secretary, Susan (Leslie Parrish), and his ex-girlfriend Gretchen (Fran Jeffries) to see Helen -- both impersonating Sylvia. When the real Sylvia arrives at Helen's apartment with the two other women, Sylvia has her hapless husband Frank put in jail for bigamy. By this point, Helen has realized Bob's skullduggery and leaves town with her colleague Rudy DeMeyer (Mel Ferrer). Bob chases Helen onto the San Diego Freeway, where they also encounter Frank, who is being followed in a cab by Sylvia. A wild chase ensues as the bickering couples try to make it to their flights at the L.A. airport. ~ Paul Brenner, All Movie Guide

Hoss Cartwright agrees to meet and provide transportation for Lotty (Judi Meredith), the mail-order bride of his temporarily incapacitated friend Walter Prescott (John Doucette). Hoss' gallantry backfires when Lotty falls in love with him--whereupon the disgruntled Prescott hires a bounty hunter to kill the hapless Mr. Cartwright. The supporting cast includes Phil Chambers (Dick Thompson), Tyler McVey (Townsman), Roy Engel (Doctor), Tina Menard (Francesca), George Robotham (Frank) and Gil Perkins (Whitey). Originally seen on November 18, 1962, "Knight Errant" was written by Joseph Hoffman. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

Wally (Tony Dow) was supposed to babysit for ten-year-old Patricia Murdock (Jennie Lynn), but he manages to book a big date on the same night. In desperation, Wally shifts the babysitting job to Beaver (Jerry Mathers), on whom Patricia has a schoolgirl crush. Balking when Patricia demands to play a kid's game, Beaver finally agrees in order to shut her up. It turns out that he kind of likes the game -- which puts him in an embarrassing position when his friends unexpectedly show up! ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

When Beaver (Jerry Mathers) announces that he needs twenty-five dollars to buy a canoe, dad Ward (Hugh Beaumont) offers to put up half the money, provided Beaver comes up with the other twelve dollars and fifty cents. A sure-fire moneymaking proposition falls in Beaver's lap when a neighbor asks him to catch a few frogs, for which our hero will be amply compensated. But Beaver's enthusiasm over the frog-harvesting job is quickly scuttled when he finds out that his customer intends to kill the amphibians and use them in lab experiments. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

Having the unique distinction of being perhaps the only American drama filmed in Cuba just after Fidel Castro's revolution, Pier 5, Havana is also distinctive because the American hero Steve Daggett (Cameron Mitchell) fights to protect Castro from dangerous pro-Batista counterrevolutionaries. Steve comes to Cuba to find his friend Hank Miller (Logan Field) who has been missing for awhile. It turns out that he has been captured by Fernando (Eduardo Noriega), the leader of the pro-Batista forces, who needs Hank to convert their airplanes into bombers. Steve enlists the help of the local police in his search for Hank. Complicating matters is the fact that Steve's former girlfriend Monica (Allison Hayes) is now Mrs. Hank Miller. ~ Eleanor Mannikka, All Movie Guide

Not long after starring in Las Vegas Shakedown, Dennis O'Keefe headed eastward to appear in Chicago Syndicate. This time, O'Keefe is cast as honest accountant Barry Amsterdam, determined to get the goods on Windy City gangster boss Arnie Valent (Paul Stewart). Insinuating himself into Valent's confidence, Amsterdam quietly begins gathering evidence. For a while it looks as though Amsterdam will go the way of his predecessor in Valent's operation, who ended up sleeping with the fishes, but in films of this nature justice usually prevails. Allison Hayes, who later played the title role in Attack of the 50 Foot Woman, is quite effective in the normal-sized part of the daughter of a slain accountant, while Abbe Lane plays the obligatory mob mistress (Lane's then-husband , bandleader Xavier Cugat, is also in the cast). ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

Yankee Pasha has the potential for silliness, but is commendably played straight by most of the participants (exceptions being such professional funsters as Hal March and Benny Rubin). Jeff Chandler plays American frontiersman Jason, who springs into action when his sweetheart Roxanna (Rhonda Fleming) is kidnapped by Barbary Pirates. Pursuing the villains all the way to Morocco, Jason gains the confidence of sultan Lee J. Cobb, who helps our hero thwart the megalomanic machinations of Omar-Id-Din (Bart Roberts). Mamie Van Doren is better than usual as a pampered harem girl who develops a crush on the stalwart Jason. Just as Universal's 1953 release Abbott and Costello Goes to Mars was an excuse to show of the charms of that year's crop of Miss Universe contests, so to does Yankee Pasha devote plenty of screen time to the pulchritudinous finalists of the 1954 Miss Universe pageant, including such now-forgotten lovelies as Christiane Martel, Kinuko Ito and Maxine Morgan. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

Pity poor ex-GI Alvah Morrell (Tony Curtis). While on his honeymoon with perky Lee Kingshead (Piper Laurie), he comes down with a bad case of chicken pox. The moment he recovers, he's shipped overseas. And when Alvah returns home, he finds his house festooned with his wife's troublesome relatives -- and, per the film's title, there's no room for him. Complicating matters is Lee's supercilious mother (Spring Byington), who does her best to break up the marriage so that her daughter will be free to marry wealthy-but-dull Herman Strouple (Don DeFore). No Room for the Groom plays like an elongated 2-reel comedy, but the stars are attractive and Douglas Sirk's direction is subtle and inventive. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide