Sandra Bernhard Movies
It might be stretching things to suggest that American comedienne Sandra Bernhard's off-kilter spin on life was caused by her family's moving from the cozy confines of Michigan to the rough-and-tumble expanses of Arizona. One gets the feeling that Bernhard would have been on the outside looking in wherever she went. Utilizing her outsized lips and jutting chin for comic effect, Bernhard became a standup comedian at age 19, and two years later got her first big break as a regular on the short-lived Richard Pryor Show (where the press release misspelled her name as Bernhart). Her act, which like all good comedy acts was better seen than described, consisted of cutting-edge commentary about sexual stereotyping and survival; one felt compelled to laugh lest Bernhard bolt from the stage and physically assault the audience. This dangerous quality carried over into her star-making film role in King of Comedy, as a psychotic fan of talk show host Jerry Lewis. While Bernhard's funkiness worked in this film's favor, it was detrimental to her villainous turn in the 1990 fiasco Hudson Hawk, though she was no worse than any other element of this notorious bomb. A tireless creator of comedy, Bernhard has scored with her 1985 best-selling record album I'm Your Woman, her 1988 solo off-Broadway show Without You I'm Nothing (made into a film in 1990), and her autobiography Confessions of a Pretty Lady. While she spent much of her early career skirting around the subject of her own sexual preferences, in recent years Bernhard has "outed" herself, which has added an extra layer of public fascination to her onetime close friendship with Madonna, as well as her recurring appearances on the TV sitcom Roseanne. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide- 1997
Billy's revelation unsettles Ally. Meanwhile, Elaine hires an attorney (Sandra Bernhard) in a sex-discrimination suit; and Ally and Georgia turn tough in a divorce case. ~ TV Guide, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Calista Flockhart, Courtney Thorne-Smith, (more)
- 1997
Ally tries to shake off her prudish image; and the firm is sued again---this time by the object of Elaine's lawsuit. ~ TV Guide, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Calista Flockhart, Courtney Thorne-Smith, (more)
- 1986
This hilarious comedy video contains performances from some of the funniest stand-up comedians of the 1980s as they do their schtick at the Improv comedy clubs. Performers include funnyman/magician Harry Anderson, Billy Crystal, and Michael Keaton. ~ Sandra Brennan, All Movie Guide
First, a little background: in 1955, the Director's Guild of America created the pseudonym Alan Smithee, which film directors are allowed to use if they feel their work has been tampered with to such a degree that they no longer want the credit. (For example, if you look at the credits of the expanded and heavily narrated TV version of Dune, you'll notice the director is not listed as David Lynch, but as Alan Smithee.) An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn is a comedy about a film editor (played by Eric Idle) who finally gets his big break -- he's given the opportunity to direct a big-budget action film starring Sylvester Stallone, Whoopi Goldberg, and Jackie Chan. But filming does not go well (the budget eventually balloons to 200 million dollars) and the producer, James Edmunds (Ryan O'Neal), tampers with the final cut of the film. As a result, the hapless neophyte director doesn't want his name to appear on the credits. But his real name is Alan Smithee, so what's he supposed to do? In a stunning example of art imitating life, director Arthur Hiller was supposedly unhappy with the interference of screenwriter and producer Joe Eszterhas on this project and chose to remove his name from the credits -- so An Alan Smithee Film carries the directorial credit of none other than Alan Smithee. Rappers Coolio and Chuck D appear as the filmmaking Brothers Brothers; Chuck D also contributed to the film's score. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Ryan O'Neal, Coolio, (more)
In the late '80s, good-time girl Stacy (Lea Thompson) and her timid friend, Melissa (Victoria Jackson), decide to hit a health spa for singles in hopes of spicing up their unfulfilled sex lives. Afraid of AIDS, Stacy has gone celibate, while Melissa has only ever managed to get it on with two lame guys. Arriving at the resort, the women spend their time working out, flirting with staff members, making friends and enemies with their fellow singles, and avoiding the attentions of the oafish Vinny (Andrew Dice Clay). When a cruel psychologist plays mind games with Melissa, she finds solace with Vinny, then flees the spa, interrupting an incipient romance between Stacy and a cute aerobics instructor. Wendy Goldman and Judy Toll adapted their own stage play, while Casual Sex? provided director Genevieve Robert her only feature credit to date. ~ Brian J. Dillard, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Lea Thompson, Victoria Jackson, (more)
- 1995
- R
The world of high-fashion is explored in this documentary. Much of the film is centered on the professional life of American supermodel Christy Turlington as she travels around the world's fashion centers for photoshoots and runway gigs. The film also offers many glimpses of the glitterati that surround the fashion industry, including designers such as Karl Lagerfeld, and movie stars like Sharon Stone. Naturally the clothing itself also figures prominently. ~ Sandra Brennan, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Christy Turlington
- 1981
- R
- Add Cheech and Chong's Nice Dreams to QueueAdd Cheech and Chong's Nice Dreams to top of Queue
Here, the dope-smoking duo are working on an ice-cream truck, and their specially treated confections are more than just a hit for the kids. Nice Dreams is the third in the series. ~ John Bush, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Cheech Marin, Tommy Chong, (more)
- 1994
An American woman turns an Australian home upside down in this Australian picture. Dallas Adair came to Australia from L.A. as a golf course consultant. En route she meets Charlie Sommers, the son of one of her sponsors, Stephen Sommers. After their plane almost crashes, the two become friends. Dallas is invited to stay at the Sommers' home. There she meets the rest of the family Rosalind, frustrated wife of Stephen and Rastus, an intelligent teenager with a passionate belief in UFO's. Dallas immediately begins seducing every member in the family except Rastus, who despises Dallas. The sex scenes are more implied than explicit. ~ Sandra Brennan, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Sandra Bernhard, Victoria Longley, (more)
- 2009
- R
- Add Dare to Queue
An overachieving good girl, a sexually confused outsider, and a rich kid hiding behind his bad-boy persona unexpectedly find their lives colliding during their last semester of high school. Alexa (Emmy Rossum) may get good grades, but she longs to get her nose out of the textbooks and experience life. Meanwhile, melancholy teen Ben (Ashley Springer) wrestles with his sexuality, and good-looking rich kid Johnny (Zach Gilford) realizes that he can't maintain his bad-boy image forever. As their lives slowly converge, it becomes ever more apparent that they have little to rebel against other than their own self-imposed inhibitions. Ana Gasteyer, Alan Cumming, and Sandra Bernhard co-star. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Emmy Rossum, Zach Gilford, (more)
Music may be the food of love, but a group of gangsters are singing a very different tune at a fancy New York dining room in this dark comedy. Louis (Danny Aiello) is the owner of an upscale restaurant in New York's Tribeca district where his son Udo (Edoardo Ballerini) has become the head chef. Udo's exotic recipes have made the restaurant the talk of the town and very profitable as well, though Louis confesses that he can't stand Udo's cooking. Louis has another son, Duncan (Kirk Acevedo), who runs with a bad crowd; Louis finds out just how bad they are one night when they stop by to dine, with Duncan in tow, informing Louis that his son owes them quite a bit of money and they aren't leaving until they're given part ownership of the restaurant -- or else someone will be killed. Dinner Rush was directed by Bob Giraldi, a noted director of commercials and music videos who also enjoyed success as a restaurateur. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Danny Aiello, Edoardo Ballerini, (more)
- 1995
A fairly faithful remake of Disney's earlier feature of the same name, this version first aired on television. Gaby Hoffman stars as Annabelle, a girl who thinks her mother has an easy life. Her mother Ellen (Shelley Long) thinks Annabelle's life is the better of the two, and after an argument one Friday morning, the two magically switch personalities. After much mayhem and confusion, the two learn that the grass is not really greener on the other side of the fence. Actress-turned-director Melanie Mayron directed. ~ Sandra Brennan, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Shelley Long, Gaby Hoffmann, (more)
Those of us who had to suffer such "instructional" films as Dating Do's and Don'ts in high school will be especially entertained by Heavy Petting. In the visually sarcastic manner of the nuclear-age documentary The Atomic Cafe, the film assembles masses of information and misinformation about teenage dating rituals of the 1950s. Clips from contemporary movies, TV programs, commercials, and "sex hygiene" short subjects are used throughout; perhaps once upon a time these vignettes could have been taken seriously, but here they're only good for howls of laughter. Interspersed among the vintage footage are interviews with such children of the 1960s as David Byrne and William S. Burroughs. One look at the 1950s as depicted in Heavy Petting, and it's easy to see how the sensuous, psychedelic '60s came to be. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- David Byrne, Sandra Bernhard, (more)
Michael Lehmann directed this post-modernist hash of To Catch a Thief and The Naked Gun starring Bruce Willis as Hudson Hawk, a cat burglar who wants to go straight, but the circumstances won't allow it. The story begins in a pre-credit sequence that takes place in the renaissance. Leonardo Da Vinci (Stefano Molinari) is rushing through his Mona Lisa painting to work on his latest invention -- a machine to turn lead into bronze. But Da Vinci makes a mistake and, instead of bronze, the machine turns the lead into gold. Realizing the danger of his invention if the contraption gets into the wrong hands, he hides three parts of the apparatus inside three of his other works. Four hundred years later, Hudson Hawk, the world's greatest cat burglar, is being released from jail after pulling a ten-year stretch. He wants to retire from the profession of cat burglary and drink some cappuccino, but two screwball billionaires -- Darwin and Minerva Mayflower (Richard E. Grant and Sandra Bernhard) -- won't let him. Their nefarious plot is to steal the three Da Vinci works, restore Da Vinci's gold-making machine, and destroy the world's monetary system. They blackmail Hawks into working with them to steal the Da Vincis by threatening the life of Hawks's pal Tommy Five-Tone (Danny Aiello). Along with the power-mad billionaires, Hawks has to deal with the CIA, in the person of George Kaplan (James Coburn), breathing down his neck. He also has Vatican art restorer Anna Baragli (Andie MacDowell) falling for his smirk. ~ Paul Brenner, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Bruce Willis, Danny Aiello, (more)
- 1998
Aris Iliopulos directed this campy comedy utilizing schlock filmmaker Ed Wood's last unproduced screenplay. Stock footage and old hygiene films are intercut with this near-silent story following a cross-dresser (Billy Zane), who escapes from the Casa de la Loco Sanitarium, manages to acquire some money, and then loses it at a funeral attended by eccentric mourners. He then seeks them out, killing them one by one. Some script instructions appear as titles. Bud Cort makes an uncredited appearance, and Wood aficionados can spot Kathy Wood (the filmmaker's daughter) in a walk-on, while Maila Nurmi re-creates her famed Vampira characterization. Larry Groupe's punk score alternates with standards by Nat "King" Cole and others. Shown at the Toronto Film Festival. ~ Bhob Stewart, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Billy Zane, Sandra Bernhard, (more)
Actor Steven Antin wrote the screenplay, and U.S.C. film professor Jefery Levy directed this self-absorbed trifle about a self-absorbed screenwriter and his nutty family and friends. Antin plays Monkey Zetterland, an innocuous young man who is trying to work on his screenplay -- something having to do with the defunct Los Angeles streetcar system -- while a collection of relatives, friends, and neighbors continually interrupt him. His family is a collection of personified neurosis: there is Honor (Katherine Helmond) a soap-opera actress with hemorrhoids who is afraid of being fired; Grace (Patricia Arquette), his lesbian sister who is crestfallen to find that her lover Cindy (Sofia Coppola) is pregnant; brother Brent (Tate Donovan), an anal hairdresser with his elbow constantly bent over a cell phone; and Mike (Bo Hopkins), his Dad, who shows up for Thanksgiving dinner with his pet parrot. But his neighbors are no better: Imogene (Sandra Bernhard) screams to him, "I love you, Monkey Zetterland!"; Daphne (Debi Mazar) complains that Monkey doesn't spend enough time with her; Sofie (Martha Plimpton) and Sasha (Rupert Everett) are a pair of terrorists devoted to blowing up insurance companies that deny insurance policies to HIV-positive patients; and Bella (Ricki Lake), a crazed fan of Monkey's mom. ~ Paul Brenner, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Steve Antin, Patricia Arquette, (more)
- 1997
- R
This independent drama takes an unexpectedly light and emotionally sensitive approach to a potentially controversial subject -- a teenager taking up a career as a prostitute. Sixteen-year-old Jake (Tara Subkoff) is a pretty but troubled girl who has been abandoned by her mother. Needing a place to stay, she shows up on the doorstep of her sister Darlene (Kristy Swanson) and begs her to take her in. Darlene refuses, and Jake is left with nowhere to go. Marci (Sandra Bernhard), Darlene's next door neighbor, takes pity on Jake and gives her a meal and a place to stay for the night. The next morning, Marci heads off for work and Jake tags along to discover that Marci manages a massage parlor. Jake is a bit naive about what goes on at such places, but after meeting Marci's charges -- Bambi (Sahara Lotti), Coco (Loretta Devine), and Teddy (Renee Humphrey) -- she catches on that the women are offering their male clientele more than a simple rubdown. Needing money, Jake asks Marci for a job; Marci says no, since Jake is underage, but after much begging and pleading, Marci agrees under the condition that Jake make herself scarce when Jean (Susan Barnes), the owner, comes around. Jake becomes friendly with Bambi, Coco, and Teddy, who show her the ropes of her new "career" and let her stay at their communal apartment. Soon Jake is making a good living, and Darlene is impressed enough to get a job of her own at the parlor. However, Darlene doesn't get along with the other women any better than she does with Jake, and when Jake's friends get on Darlene's bad side, she turns Jake in for working underage, which leaves everyone out in the cold. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Sandra Bernhard, Kristy Swanson, (more)
Bob Koherr directed this predictable parody of Quentin Tarantino's Pulp Fiction, offering variations on the film's familiar scenes, plus satirical jabs at other titles, including Reservoir Dogs, Natural Born Killers, Forrest Gump and Nell. Tarantino's hit men are replaced here with exterminators Jimmy (Paul Dinello) and Julius (Tommy Davidson). Subbing for Marsellus and coke addict Mia are compulsive eater Mimi (Julie Brown) and her husband Montello (Robert Costanzo). Instead of coffee-shop thieves Honey Bunny and Pumpkin, writer wannabe Bunny Roberts (Sandra Bernhard) arrives with the Forrest Gump-like Bumpkin (Dan Castellaneta). Psychos Nicky (Matthew Glave) and Vallory (Pamela Segall) disrupt the criss-crossing storylines, and so do nuns with guns. At the Independent Cafe, employees are costumed like various characters from independent films. The talented Juliette Lewis is mocked by Pamela Segall in a re-creation of a Natural Born Killers scene, and Kane Picoy impersonates Christopher Walken. When Plump Fiction played theatrically, it was accompanied by a three-minute short film Swing Blade (a spoof of Swingers and Sling Blade). ~ Bhob Stewart, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Tommy Davidson, Julie Brown, (more)
- 1992
In this finale episode of the fourth season of Roseanne, the Conners once again are faced with a grim financial situation. Roseanne loses her job when Rodbell's diner goes out of business and Dan is out of work when he is forced to close his bike shop, Lanford Custom Cycle. ~ Andrea LeVasseur, All Movie Guide
- 1994
One of the more memorable episodes, the episode "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" is the one where Roseanne goes out to a gay bar and gets kissed by Mariel Hemingway. Meanwhile, Becky meets up with old boyfriend Dean (David Allan Donah). Also features guest appearances by standup comedian Laura Kightlinger and PBS host Joanne Liebler. ~ Andrea LeVasseur, All Movie Guide
- 1993
Joan Collins guest stars as Ronnie, Roseanne's wealthy long-lost cousin. Though she hasn't seen Roseanne for over 20 years, Ronnie tries to renew their friendship and encourages Darlene to get out of Lanford, which only sparks the old feud between them. ~ Andrea LeVasseur, All Movie Guide
- 1993
Roseanne and Dan get stuck in another financial mess when their business partner Roger (Tim Curry) takes off and they are left with a fixed-up house that they can't sell. Fortunately, Jackie steps up to buy the house. ~ Andrea LeVasseur, All Movie Guide
- 1992
Roseanne stays home while everyone else goes out to a Halloween party. She gets visited by the ghosts of Halloween Past (Lee Arenberg), Halloween Present (Mario Roccuzzo), and Halloween Future (Garry Bullock). Laurie Metcalf's daughter Zoe Perry plays Jackie as a little girl. ~ Andrea LeVasseur, All Movie Guide
- 1993
This being a Halloween episode, everyone must pull pranks on each other. Nancy (Sandra Bernhard) thinks Dan doesn't like her, which sets up a prank brought on by Roseanne and Dan. Meanwhile, Darlene and David (Johnny Galecki) team up to pull one over on Roseanne. ~ Andrea LeVasseur, All Movie Guide
- 1997
In the two-part series conclusion episode, Darlene and David (Johnny Galecki) bring home their daughter, Harris Conner Healey, from the hospital. Bev (Estelle Parsons), Leon (Martin Mull), Scott (Fred Willard), and Nancy (Sandra Bernhard) come over to celebrate and order pizza. Leon and Scott announce that they've adopted a baby, and Becky reveals she's pregnant. Finally, Roseanne concludes the episode with a monologue explaining how much of the series comes from her real life, and that the ninth season was a fictionalized fantasy for the character of Roseanne. Supposedly, Dan Conner died when he had a heart attack at Darlene and David's wedding at the end of season eight. ~ Andrea LeVasseur, All Movie Guide
