David Beaird Movies
- 2005
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Fed up with American women and determined to procure a docile Asian wife, an angry L.A. misogynist gets a mail order bride in this romantic re-imagining of Beauty and the Beast starring Patrick Warburton, Marie Matiko, and Jennifer Tilly. Max Bright (Warburton) is fed up with independent, strong-willed women, and now all he wants is a wife who doesn't know the meaning of the word "no." Despite the fact that he's completely ignorant when it comes to the subject of Eastern cultures, Maxwell decides to marry a mail order bride. Later, after Mai Ling (Matiko) arrives in L.A. to discover just what a brute her new American husband truly is, the couple is forced to contend with a devastating development that could bring them closer than ever while profoundly affecting the way that Max perceives the opposite sex. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Patrick Warburton, Marie Matiko, (more)
Scorchers is set way down in steamy Louisiana, deep in bayou country where the women get hot and hotter--or not hot at all. This movie delves into the sex lives of three ladies: one is an unfulfilled prostitute, one can't get her husband's attentions (he'd rather be with the whore), and one's a newlywed who can't get over her fear of having sex with her new fella. ~ All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Emily Lloyd, Jennifer Tilly, (more)
- 1988
- PG13
Travis Rogers (George Newborn) is a young man slated to marry his childhood sweetheart Stephi (Leslie Hope) in this romantic comedy. Just days before the wedding, Travis leaves his Texas ranch and buys a hot red sports car from Jonni Tigersmith (Kimberly Foster), the sex kitten sales person. Jonni takes off with Travis and the two go racing in a high-speed chase across Texas while Stephi waits patiently at the altar. ~ Dan Pavlides, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- George Newbern, Leslie Hope, (more)
- 1988
When Claire (Linda Kozlowski) learns her grandmother has been bilked out of $50,000 by the crooked televangelists Ray (Tim Curry) and Darla Porter (Annie Potts), she recruits her redneck boyfriend Jesse (Bill Paxton) to help recover the money. They travel to the Tower of Bethlehem deep in the Arkansas woods to break into the studio and hold the hosts of the show hostage. This timely comedy came in the wake of scandals involving real-life televangelists Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker and Jimmy "I Have Sinned" Swaggert. Neil Cohen and Joel Cohen wrote the screenplay. ~ Dan Pavlides, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Bill Paxton, Linda Kozlowski, (more)
In a well-wrought sex comedy with one foot in the feminist camp and another on a banana peel, Casey Meadows (Deborah Foreman in an excellent performance) defies social custom when she gets a job as a limo driver. The manager of the Brentwood Limousine Company, McBride (Howard Hesseman), and her co-workers give her both a hard time and some of the worst fares possible. She is eventually assigned to chauffeur an overworked executive (Sam Jones) who just broke up with his girlfriend. After drowning his sorrows in the back seat of the limo, the ingrate wakes up in Casey's bed the morning after, refusing to believe he had anything to do with her. Their antagonistic relationship is stressed all the more when she has to drive him on a vacation and the car breaks down. What Casey does not know is that she has not been given the complete scoop on her passenger. ~ Eleanor Mannikka, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Deborah Foreman, Sam Jones, (more)
College student Pondo Sinatra (Matthew Causey is anything but a party animal in this sexually explicit, low, low-budget film about his main goal in life: luring coeds into his boudoir, or wherever. Pondo is more successful at attracting flies than women, and so he begs the Devil himself to help him out a little -- and lo and behold, the winsome Miranda (Suzanne Ashley) shows up as if on cue. Some foggy dream sequences are probably meant to explain her presence, but exactly who she is seems to be irrelevant to connecting one sexual sequence with another -- which apparently need no real reason for continuity anyway. ~ Eleanor Mannikka, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Matthew Causey, Timothy Carhart, (more)
- 1982
- R
In this modern-day fairy tale, a sightless girl learns valuable life lessons after she helps her cruel father break out of prison. ~ Sandra Brennan, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Susan Curtis, Neil Kinsella, (more)
