Virginia Vincent

With a cast starring such comic veterans as Harvey Korman, Anne Meara, Jack Weston and Tim Conway (who also wrote the script), and executive produced by Mike Nichols, it is normally a safe bet that hiliarity will ensue. Unfortunately, this sure thing does not pay off and is disappointingly dumb as it tells the tale of four luckless gamblers who in desperation borrow a large sum for a local loanshark so they can bet on a particular horse. Unfortunately, they bet on the wrong nag and suddenly the foursome must scramble around for quick cash before the loanshark's thugs show up for some bruising payback. ~ Sandra Brennan, All Movie Guide

Robert Conrad plays a long-married husband suffering from perceived boredom. In traditional male-menopause fashion, Conrad walks out on his family in search of greener pastures. Before waking up and smelling the coffee, he has a brief affair with the much-younger Ann Dusenberry. Respectively cast as Conrad's wife and daughter, Jennifer Warren and Mary Crosby are a lot more understanding than our "hero" deserves. Produced by General Hospital mentor Gloria Monty, the made-for-TV Confessions of a Married Man premiered on January 31, 1983. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

Peforming an autopsy at the request of a grieving family, Quincy concludes that a 17-year-old girl died in a botched abortion. Further evidence indicates that Ronald Shafer (John Dehner), the doctor who performed the surgery, was drunk at the time. But in his efforts to learn all the fact, Quincy is stymied by Shafer's colleagues and friends, who form a protective wall of silence around the veteran surgeon. The supporting cast includes two TV-series favorites from the 1960s, Anne Francis (Honey West) and June Lockhart (Lassie, Lost in Space). ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

Horror auteur Wes Craven followed his threadbare but horrifically compelling cult classic Last House on the Left with this wonderfully demented morality fable about a bloody war of attrition between two extremely different families. The story opens on the journey of the Carters, a mildly dysfunctional extended family led by patriarch "Big Bob" Carter (Russ Grieve), as they travel across the California desert in search of an inherited silver mine. When a broken axle leaves them stranded in the middle of a former nuclear testing site, their attempts to find help lead them unwittingly into the territory of a savage family of cave-dwelling cannibals, the apparent progeny of the bearlike Jupiter (James Whitworth) and an abducted prostitute. Jupiter's eldest son Pluto (professional movie weirdo Michael Berryman) leads the first brutal attack on the defenseless Carters who, through necessity, are driven to equally extreme measures in order to survive. Though the film is not overtly bloody, the scenes depicting this confrontation are rendered with an unflinching directness, and the violations visited on the Carters are so brutal as to make the survivors' regression into savagery all the more convincing. No one is spared from the nightmare: Jupiter's boys have even kidnapped the youngest member of the Carter family -- a mere infant -- to serve as fodder for their next barbecue, and the baby becomes the main point of contention between the rival clans. Craven nevertheless refuses to take the easy way out by depicting his "monsters" as soullessly evil; parallels between either family's "values" are clearly drawn as the differences between the two clans begin to blur. ~ Cavett Binion, All Movie Guide

Acknowledging the death of series regular Diana Hyland during the previous season of Eight is Enough, Season Two opens with Sacramento columnist Tom Bradford (Dick Van Patten) being identified as a widower, whose wife Joan has been deceased for nearly one year. While this time passage makes it respectable for Tom to re-enter the dating scene, it does not explain the fact that his eight children have only aged a few months since last we saw them at the end of Season One! But Tom does not remain unattached for long. In the season's second episode, Betty Buckley joins the cast as Sandra Sue "Abby" Abbott, a widowed teacher hired to tutor Tom's son Tommy (Willie Aames) while the boy is healing from a sports injury (in the same episode, daughter Mary [Lani O'Grady] defiantly moves out of the Bradford home to set up housekeeping with her boyfriend, played by no less than Don Johnson). The subsequent romance between Tom and Abby leads swiftly to the altar, as they become man and wife in the two-hour episode "Children of the Room", originally telecast November 9, 1977 (which is the same day that they wed in the context of the episode!) The following week, the entire family honeymoons in Hawaii, where the younger Bradfords characteristically stir up as much trouble as possible. Later on, an emotional high point is reached when the children celebrate their first Christmas without their "real" mom. In other episodes, daughter Joannie (Laurie Walters) precipitates a crisis when she agrees to appear nude in a stage play; Mary despairs when she is rejected from medical school; Tom is strongarmed into writing a newspaper advice column as "Ms. Dinah"; Tommy (Willie Aames) resorts to cheating in order to pass his English class; and when Abby suffers a serious concussion, the kids keep her awake until the doctor comes by describing highlights from past episodes (yes, it's a "clip show"). The season finale "Who's on First" takes place during a community talent show, permitting Broadway veteran Betty Buckley to show off her spending singing voice (no, she doesn't sing her signature tune from "Cats", mainly because it hadn't been written yet). Guest stars during Season Two include Sylvia Sidney, Robin Williams, Will Geer, Danny Bonaduce, Stepfanie Kramer, and Dick Van Patten's own sons Jimmy and Timmy. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

Officer Pete Malloy (Martin Milner) doesn't know whether to be flattered or annoyed when he becomes the subject of an article written by his partner Jim Reed (Kent McCord). Back on the job, the two cops are assigned to the North Hollywood Division, with assignments ranging from breaking up a family quarrel and pursuing a holdup suspect. And in one of the evening's odder moments, a woman calls headquarters to report that she's heard the sound of a roaring lion. Among the featured players is one of the stalwarts of the Jack Webb production family, Vic Perrin. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

Alone With Terror stars Juliet Mills as the widow of a police lieutenant. Her late husband has been accused of accepting bribes, and Mills is determined to prove these statements false. In so doing, she puts her own life on the line as the genuine interdepartmental culprit endeavors to keep her quiet. Paul Shenar appears briefly as Mills' unfortunate husband. Though Alone with Terror would seem to be a candidate for ABC's late-night Wide World Mystery series, the network chose to premiere this taped, 90-minute melodrama on its daytime anthology, ABC's Matinee Today. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

TV-movie perennial Ted Post served as director for the low-budget theatrical feature The Baby. Ruth Roman plays a boozy nutcase who, out of hatred for the husband who ran out on her years earlier, forces her teenaged son (David Manzy) to dress and behave like an infant. Social worker Ann Gentry (Anjanette Comer), understandably put off by the sight of a fully grown boy chewing on his toes in a playpen, sets about to rescue him. When sinister forces try to claim the "baby" from Ann, she resorts to murder. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

The emergency staff of Rampart Hospital struggles to stem an outbreak of botulism which they have traced to a Hollywood movie set. At the same time, the firemen race against time to rescue a boy trapped in a condemned building about to collapse. With all this going on, paramedic John Gage (Randolph Mantooth) still manages to squeeze in a revenge plan against a persistent practical joker. And in other developments, head nurse Dixie (Julie London) clashes with Dr. Brackett (Robert Fuller) over his treatment of one of her student nurses; and Dr. Early (Bobby Troup) suffers a bizarre "stethoscope malfunction." ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

In the conclusion of a two-part story, Inspector Erskine (Efrem Zimbalist Jr.) has managed to capture one of the three men involved in a daring $1,800,000 amusement park robbery. Though Erskine knows where to find the other two criminals, Curtis Breer (Bradford Dillman), the criminal genius who masterminded the heist, remains out of reach. But it looks like Breer's luck is running out: this time around, he has double-crossed one partner too many. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

A young married couple struggle with their personal problems and their union and the forthcoming birth oftheir unwanted child in this grim domestic drama. Much of the story centers on the husband, a former high school basketball star who is unable to leave the glory days behind and fashion a future for himself and his wife. Though pregnant, the wife is constantly drunk and the two constantly bicker. One night, they have row and the husband takes off to stay with his now-impoverished former coach thereby setting the stage for further turmoil and tragedy. The plot for Rabbit, Run is based on a John Updike novel. ~ Sandra Brennan, All Movie Guide

The FBI suspects a case of jury tampering when, after the acquittal of notorious mob figure, juror Steven Harber (Robert Hooks) suddenly becomes conspicuously wealthy. Eventually, Harber's conscience kicks in, but it may already be too late. Not only is Harber being shaken down by a blackmailer who witnessed the payoff, but there is also a mob hitman at large who has killed two other jurors in his efforts to make sure that no one talks. Seen as Harber's anguished wife is Cicely Tyson, making the most of a rather thankless role. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

Frank Sinatra brings a sneering Rat Pack ethos to his first hard-boiled detective role in Tony Rome. Tony is an ex-cop who lives on a houseboat off Miami, accepting fees for private-eye work. His former partner, Ralph Turpin (Robert J. Wilke), asks Tony for help in locating Diana Pines (Sue Lyon), the daughter of rich construction magnate Rudolph Kosterman (Simon Oakland). Tony finds her unconscious and drunk in a sleazy motel room and returns her to her home. Rudolph decides to hire Tony in order to find out why his daughter is behaving so erratically. In the meantime, Diana's stepmother, Rita (Gena Rowlands), also offers Tony money to inform her first about whatever Tony finds out. He discovers that Diana has lost an expensive diamond pin, but before he can act upon the information, he is beaten up by two goons and nearly killed by Diana's crazy step-uncle. Tony then finds out that Turpin has been murdered. With help from sultry and sexy divorcée Ann Archer (Jill St. John), Tony discovers that Diana has been funneling large sums of money to her alcoholic mother, Lorna (Jeanne Cooper), with Rita's priceless jewelry being replaced by fakes. A collection of disagreeable human sludge all take their turns trying to get Tony and the information that he holds -- including his old pal Lieutenant Santini (Richard Conte). After a murder attempt on Rudolph's life, Tony uncovers a series of vile connections involving blackmail, deceit, and betrayal. ~ Paul Brenner, All Movie Guide