Kristi Somers Movies
- 1993
In this made-for-TV thriller, Annette O'Toole stars as a woman whose secret life forces her to flee from a killer. ~ Jason Ankeny, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Annette O'Toole, Eva Marie Saint, (more)
The great nuclear holocaust has come and gone, and humanity is hanging on a string. Women rule what's left, and the world is filled with giant mutant humanoid frogs who have started their own communities. Fertile human males have become one of the rarest things on Earth. This really low-budget sci-fi adventure chronicles the exploits of one of those men, the wandering loner Sam Hell (as played by former wrestler Rowdy Roddy Piper). The tale begins as Hell is caught and tried for raping a woman. Realizing that he is fertile, Medtech, the organization devoted to repopulating the world, takes him and forces him to wear high-tech underwear designed to control his lusty tendencies and to keep him from squandering his seed on infertile ladies. The organization then forces him to go deep into froggy territory to bring back the fertile women stolen by the amphibian's leader. ~ Sandra Brennan, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Roddy Piper, Sandahl Bergman, (more)
In 1982, Crippen High School was the scene of a gruesome series of dismemberment murders, but the killer was never identified. Five years later, Cosmic Pictures arrives at the long-abandoned campus to make a low-budget horror movie based on the tragedy, and suddenly the terror begins anew. The police department arrives at the school to find the building and grounds covered in gore and human body parts, the remains of the unfortunate film crew. The only survivor of this new massacre is the screenwriter, Arthur (Richard Brestoff), who tries to explain the horrifying events to the authorities. The troubled production's leading lady is angered over the demeaning nature of her role, the producer and director argue over the film's lack of artistic merits, and when cast members start disappearing, everyone else assumes that they're just quitting out of disgust. Who is the culprit? Is it the school's principal, appearing as himself in the film for the sake of realism? The janitor, who hopes to parlay his cameo into a pornography career? Or maybe Steven (Brendan Hughes), who was a student at Crippen during the original murder spree and finds himself reluctantly cast as the hero? This self-referential slasher parody features George Clooney in a small part as the film's first victim, and The Brady Bunch's Maureen McCormick as a policewoman with a lust for blood and hot dogs. ~ Fred Beldin, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Lori Lethin, Brendan Hughes, (more)
- 1986
Hoping to prove to Diane (Shelley Long) that he still has celebrity status in Boston, Sam (Ted Danson) books a reservation at the town's most exclusive restaurant. Diane is duly impressed -- and not a little astonished -- when Sam arranges to "accidentally" bump into Diane and her date at the swanky eatery. What Diane doesn't know is that Sam cut through the restaurant's three-month waiting list by impersonating a famous heart surgeon. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
A young tomboy learns about love in this undistinguished story that focuses on the coyly named Tommy Boyd (Betsy Russell) who has a penchant for riding motorcycles, expertly tinkering with the mysterious inner workings of car engines and moving parts, and playing basketball. Her interest in men is nonexistent until she meets a handsome racecar driver (model Jerry Dinome) who manages to divert her attention a few degrees away from the underside of a car. After establishing their relationship, the couple have a serious argument that does not seem easy to settle. And so the two end up in a Daytona 500 race in which he drives his usual souped-up version of automotive splendor, and she counterattacks with a super-improved, four-wheeled wonder she put together before the race. ~ Eleanor Mannikka, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Betsy Russell, Jerry Dinome, (more)
- 1985
- R
Six sorority sisters are desperate for rent money, so, encouraged and trained by their den mother, they enter a mud-wrestling tournament in Las Vegas. ~ John Bush, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Ruth Gordon, Laura Branigan, (more)
On her first day at an all-girls Catholic High School in Chicago, shy and reserved Janey Glenn (Sarah Jessica Parker) meets the wild and wacky Lynne Sands (Helen Hunt). Even though her oppressive dad, Col. Glenn (Ed Lauter), won't let her go, Lynne talks her into sneaking out to try out for a spot on the beloved show Dance TV. Janey wows the judges with her gymnastic ability and makes first cuts, conveniently assigned to a cute dance partner: blue-collar bad boy Jeff Malene (Lee H. Montgomery). They compete against the bratty rich girl Natalie Sands (Holly Gagnier), who sabotages them because she wants Jeff and the contest for herself. Janey and Lynne get revenge by inviting punks and street kids to crash her debutante ball. Natalie then resorts to making her wealthy industrialist dad, J.P. Sands (Morgan Woodward), threaten Jeff; If he doesn't let Natalie win, his dad (Biff Yeager) could lose his job at the factory. It all leads up to the live television broadcast of the Dance TV contest, right when Janey's dad races to the studio to stop her. Also starring Shannen Doherty as Jeff's little sister, Maggie. ~ Andrea LeVasseur, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Sarah Jessica Parker, Lee Montgomery, (more)
- 1983
This romantic drama examines the desires and anxieties of a couple searching for true love. ~ All Movie Guide
Heather (Linnea Quigley), the deaf-mute sister of Brenda (Linda Blair) is gang-raped in a drawn-out, violent scene at the beginning of this routine vengeance movie, a scene that provides the motivation for Brenda's rampage through the rest of the film. Dressed in a special outfit that bares enough skin to suit the standards of this genre and armed with a crossbow, Brenda goes after the young punks in the "Scars" gang who raped her sister -- with predictably gory results. Surrounding this miniature Charles Bronson is a society burdened with parodies of "good" people: the school principal who is only superficially tough, and the upper-class teens whose thought processes were arrested shortly after kindergarten. Stereotypical and transparent, this teen movie is interesting because it does promote a woman in a "hero" role, but the subject matter and violence will not appeal to everyone. ~ Eleanor Mannikka, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Linda Blair, John Vernon, (more)
One of two S.E. Hinton novels Francis Ford Coppola directed in 1983, Rumble Fish is a stylized black-and-white film about the death of gang culture in a rough-and-tumble town full of stunted youths. The central character is the strutting Rusty James (Matt Dillon), a foul-mouthed lunkhead clad in sweaty tank tops, who passes his time at the billiards hall waiting for "something" to happen in his life. That something might be the return of his brother, known only as the Motorcycle Boy (Mickey Rourke), from exile in California. Charismatic and intelligent, the Motorcycle Boy once led numerous wide-eyed followers into battle, into the "rumbles" once commonplace in town. Rusty James wants to take over that role, but lacks the smarts necessary for leadership, nearly getting himself killed in an opening fight. The Motorcycle Boy stops the fight with equal parts efficiency and cool, and Rusty James seems delighted by his brother's return. But it quickly becomes clear that a local cop (William Smith) is still gunning for the Motorcycle Boy, waiting for him to slip up, even though the mysterious youth has developed a weary philosophy of life and a skeptical view of his former power. As the Motorcycle Boy seems more and more distant, lost in deaf and color-blind fugues, Rusty James gets into greater trouble, running afoul of his girlfriend (Diane Lane) and friends (Nicolas Cage, Christopher Penn, Vincent Spano), and seeming on the path to destruction. ~ Derek Armstrong, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Matt Dillon, Mickey Rourke, (more)
