Joyce Blair Movies

A nerdly stagehand at a nightclub falls for a performer/waitress who is forced to endure harassment from her gangster boss. After taking lessons on suavity from a gigolo "count," the young man finally wins her affections. ~ Kristie Hassen, Rovi

This three-part, seven-hour TV adaptation of Edgar Bulwer-Lytton's 1834 best-seller The Last Days of Pompeii was arguably more faithful to its source than any of the earlier film versions -- and inarguably the most expensive version of all, boasting a 19,000,000-dollar budget and a truly spectacular cast. In recounting the events leading up to the cataclysmic eruption of Mount Vesuvius in 79 A.D., the film, like the novel, introduces a veritable coliseum full of colorful fictional characters: stalwart Athenian Glaucus (Nicholas Clay), religious-zealot Egyptian Arbaces (Franco Nero), and mighty gladiator Lydon (Duncan Regehr), all of whom vie for the affections of high-born Ione (Olivia Hussey) and lowly, sightless slave girl Nydia (Linda Purl). Also around and about are Ned Beatty as wealthy merchant Diomed, Lesley-Anne Down as belly-dancing courtesan Chloe, and a handful of theatrical stalwarts like Laurence Olivier and Anthony Quayle. Mercilessly drubbed by the critics, who chortled at such dialogue as "Turn the other cheek, Christian lover!" and "Christians. They're everywhere I go. They're spreading through the empire like a pox!," The Last Days of Pompeii nonetheless garnered healthy ratings when it aired over ABC from May 6 to 8, 1984, despite the formidable opposition of the NBC blockbuster miniseries V: The Final Battle. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi

Singer, songwriter, and actor Anthony Newley produced, directed, co-wrote, scored, and starred in this bizarre autobiographical musical in which a famous entertainer takes a look back at the circumstances of his life. Legendary singing star Heironymus Merkin (Newley) stands by the sea, surrounded by a small mountain of souvenirs of his life and times, with his mother (Patricia Hayes) and children (Tara Newley and Alexander Newley, Newley's real life daughter and son) by his side. As Merkin shows his captive audience reel after reel of footage from the story of his life, the film crew making the movie grows impatient, wishing Merkin was more cooperative and waiting for an ending to the script. We learn that Merkin was raised without a father, and his Uncle Limelight (Bruce Forsyth) encouraged him to become an entertainer at a young age. As Merkin enjoys a hit with the tune "Piccadilly Lilly" that catapults him to fame, he becomes partners with Goodtime Eddie Filth (Milton Berle), a cheerful demon who introduces Merkin to the pleasures of women. As Merkin stumbles into a short-lived marriage with Filigree Fondle (Judy Cornwell) and enjoys a more successful relationship with Polyester Poontang (Joan Collins, Newley's spouse at the time), he finds it difficult to resist the temptation to bed nearly every attractive woman who crosses his path, and develops a lifelong obsession with the young, innocent, yet nubile Mercy Humppe (Connie Kreski). Meanwhile, Merkin is frequently visited by The Presence (George Jessel), who seems to hold the power of life and death as he cracks one old joke after another. Also starring Stubby Kaye, Victor Spinetti, and Margaret Nolan, Can Heironymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe And Find True Happiness? was rated X for its original release in 1969, though a slightly edited R-rated version was soon shipped to theaters, though it didn't prevent the film from becoming a critical and financial flop. ~ Mark Deming, Rovi

In this sexy comedy an affianced woman decides to sow one last wild oat before becoming a devoted wife. She therefore dresses up in a slinky black number and goes to her company Christmas party. The shapely lass impresses both her boss and a sales manager for the cosmetic company. The manager then sends her a new dress and she goes to his hotel room to have a little lunch. When he makes a pass, she flees and returns to the party and spikes the punch. When her fiance shows up, they all kick him out. Soon the drunken party-goers begin cozying up to one another. The girl realizes she has gone too far and sets off the company sprinkler system to sober them up. Things are suitably dampened and the partiers begin getting rather glum until they hear that one of the employee's wives has given birth. Later, the troublemaker makes nice with her fiance and they leave. ~ Sandra Brennan, Rovi

Dave Martin (David Hemmings) and his mates once again find themselves dealing with the tricky side of the music business in this sequel to the British pop musical Live It Up. Dave has become interested in writing, and has a lead on a job with a newspaper in the seaside community of Brighton. As luck would have it, his parents Herbert (Ivor Salter) and Margaret (Diana King) are also moving to Brighton, having inherited a guest house there that they've decided to take over as the family business. En route to Brighton, Dave meets Erica (Andrea Monet), a pretty girl from the United States who is going to Brighton to audition for a job as a dancer. She is lacking accommodations, so Dave offers to put her up at the family's new guest house, though Herbert and Margaret at first believe their son has less than honorable intentions. When Erica's audition falls through, she opts to stay on in Brighton, and she's soon joined by Dave's old pals Phil (John Pike) and Ricky (Stephen Marriot), who were his partners in the beat group the Smart Alecks. Publicity friendly impresario Hilton Bass (David Healy) arrives in town looking for "the Brighton Sound," which he's convinced will be the next big thing after the success of Merseybeat. Dave asks his pals to re-form the Smart Alecks to enter the talent competition Bass is staging, but he's disqualified when he learns the paper he's working for is helping to sponsor the contest. However, Dave thinks he may have struck upon a story when he uncovers evidence that suggests Bass has rigged the contest to favor a group he's already signed to a deal. Be My Guest features guest appearances from Jerry Lee Lewis and the Nashville Teens (the latter of whom also serve as Lewis' backing band), as well as lesser known beat groups the Nightshades, Kenny and the Wranglers, and the Zephyrs. Noted British rock producer Shel Talmy coordinated the film's musical score. ~ Mark Deming, Rovi

The incredibly durable cop show Z Cars (pronounced "Zed Cars") was one of the great guilty pleasures of British television -- a program which everyone watched, but no one would admit to watching. Created by Troy Kennedy Martin, the series focused on a "typical" crime-ridden Liverpool police precinct. The cars driven by the law-enforcement officers were all Ford Zephyrs, hence the series' title. Understandably, there was a huge cast turnover during the series' 16 years on the air, with some of the original regulars leaving early on to star in the spin-off show Softly Softly. Debuting in a weekly 25-minute slot in 1962, Z Cars had expanded to 50 minutes weekly by the time its run ended in 1978; 667 episodes were filmed in all -- an astronomical figure by anybody's standards, even American television. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi

The late Anthony Newley's star was already rising when he shared billing just after Robert Taylor and before Anne Aubrey in this fast-paced adventure story set in Africa. Adamson (Taylor) is an engineer in charge of a project to set up a railroad track through East Africa, the first of its kind -- well, almost. A rival railway gang is around to give him trouble. Aside from that kind of trouble, Adamson has to handle the convicts who are working underneath him, hungry crocodiles, dangerous lions, rhinos, and similar wild beasts, as well as Jane (Aubrey), a woman along for the duration. His sidekick Hooky (Newley) is a stand-out with his high energy brand of whimsy. ~ Eleanor Mannikka, Rovi

Based on the novel by Pamela Hansford Johnson, Trojan Brothers offers the unlikely screen team of music hall funster Bobby Howes and up-and-coming leading man David Farrar. The stars are cast as Benny and Sid, two-bit vaudevillians who tour the provinces with a "horse" act. Sid plays the front end of the horse, while Benny brings up the rear (type-casting, as it turns out). The harmony between the two troupers is disrupted when Sid falls in love with fickle socialite Betty Todd (Patricia Burke). Meanwhile, Benny finds happiness -- or at least security -- with plain-looking Maggie (Barbara Mullen). In case all this sounds like a lighthearted comedy, it isn't, especially when the maddened Sid exacts revenge upon the faithless Betty. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi