Christiane Schmidtmer Movies
- 1981
- R
Coming along as the third film in a trilogy that may have died here, Lemon Popsicle 3 is a reminiscence of teenage years that is based on short, disparate segments featuring nudity, some violence, "oldies" music, and teen sex. Some viewers may want to stick with memories of their own teen years, and save this movie experience for others. ~ Eleanor Mannikka, Rovi
- Starring:
- Yftach Katzur, Jonathan Segall, (more)
A handsome lawyer begins a passionate affair with an extraordinarily beautiful woman, not realizing that she is a paid assassin out to fulfill a contract with his name on it. ~ Sandra Brennan, Rovi
Bill Rebane's backyard wonder is a hilariously hokey throwback to the giant-monster flicks of the 50s, while taking its only pseudo-scientific conceit from the mid-70s trend of popular "black hole" theories, combining these two elements to create pure bad-movie heaven. A tiny, decrepit town in rural Wisconsin is rocked by a mysterious explosion, after which a drunken farmer (Robert Easton) discovers dozens of crystal geodes strewn across his property. Cracking each one open reveals a diamond-like encrustation (which to the farmer's dismay proves nearly worthless), as well as a hairy but decidedly un-cosmic tarantula. Being permanently soused, he fails to notice the latter (his equally boozy wife accidentally purees one in her daiquiri!) until the rocks begin opening on their own, and the entire farm is overrun with eight-legged invaders. Despite the title, only one of the spiders would qualify for giant status, but it's definitely a keeper: the Big Daddy arachnid is quite clearly a Volkswagen Beetle covered with black fake fur, with legs operated by the car's passengers and taillights doubling for glowing red eyes. Unfortunately, it is merely glimpsed through much of the film, making its triumphant appearance in the final few minutes. ~ Cavett Binion, Rovi
- 1971
- R
Jack Hill directed this alternately brutal and campy look at desperate women behind bars. An American named Collier (Judy Brown) has been convicted of murder in the Philippines and is sentenced to a grim women's prison in the jungle, where a mysterious German woman, Miss Deitrich (Christiane Schmidtmer), is the warden, and her head guard, sadistic Lucian (Katheryn Loder), keeps her charges in line through intimidation and violence. Collier shares a cell with tough-talking bisexual prostitute Grear (Pam Grier), hard-boiled political prisoner Bodine (Pat Woodell), thick-skinned but good-humored Alcott (Roberta Collins), drug-addicted Harrad (Brooke Mills), and tight-lipped Ferina (Gina Stuart). Bodine's boyfriend is the leader of an underground revolutionary faction, and when she learns he and his comrades are in danger, she begins to plot an escape for herself and her cellmates, with travelling peddlers Harry (Sid Haig) and Fred (Jerry Frank) becoming her unwitting collaborators. Meanwhile, Lucian is stepping up her torture of the prisoners at the behest of a mysterious masked stranger, and Collier is determined to find out who is behind the systematic brutality. The Big Doll House was the first "Women In Prison" exploitation epic produced for Roger Corman's New World Pictures; it was a big hit on the dive-in and grind house circuit, and spawned dozens of imitations (which are still being produced today). By the way, that's Pam Grier singing the theme song! ~ Mark Deming, Rovi
- 1968
Carter inadvertently leaves one of his coat buttons behind at a sabotage site. Using this evidence, General Hochstetter decides to interrogate Hogan and his crew. Usually, this would mean that Hochstetter would get no information whatsoever, but this time the General has a secret weapon: Three gorgeous, and very persuasive, female Gestapo agents. Sabrina Scharf, Christiane Schmidtmer, and Inge Jaklin are cast respectively as Inge Wagner, Heidi Baum, and Anna Mannheim -- all of whom look more like 1960s go-go girls than WWII-vintage damsels. Written by Arthur Julian, "To the Gestapo with Love" first aired on October 26, 1968. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
- Starring:
- Bob Crane, Werner Klemperer, (more)
Robert Goulet plays David March, an American traitor living in Germany during World War II. Allowed to travel freely within the Nazi hierarchy, March is privy to secrets that would spell his doom were he on "our" side. What the Nazis don't know (but we do) is that March is on our side: he's a secret agent, posing as a turncoat in order to relay Nazi war plans to the allies. His main goal is to destroy a secret weapons factory, but he still has time to romance German scientist Jo Ann Pflug and French chanteuse Christine Carrere. I Deal in Danger was comprised of three half-hour episode of the 1966 TV series Blue Light; the seamwork shows at times, but the film runs a lot more smoothly than most such pastiches. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
- Starring:
- Robert Goulet, Christine Carère, (more)
The first person the audience sees in Ship of Fools is dwarf Michael Dunn, who speaks to viewers directly and acts as a Greek chorus throughout the film. It begins on the deck of an ocean liner travelling from Vera Cruz to Bremerhaven. The time is the 1930s, so close and yet so far from war. The cross-section of humanity on board includes ship's doctor Oscar Werner, Spanish political activist Simone Signoret, aging coquette Vivien Leigh, hedonistic baseball player Lee Marvin, philosophical Jew Heinz Ruhmann, a smattering of pro- and anti-Hitlerites (Jose Ferrer plays the nastiest and most vocal "pro") and young lovers George Segal and Elizabeth Ashley. Yes, it's Grand Hotel at sea, a feast for stargazers and an endurance test for those who aren't comfortable with non-stop speechmaking. Despite such lines as "What can the Nazis do? Kill all six million of us?," Ship of Fools manages to stay afloat throughout its 148 minutes. Michael Dunn was nominated for an Academy Award for his interlocutory characterization; the rest of the performances range from brilliant to merely filling up the room. Other Oscars were presented to cinematographer Ernest Lazslo and to the art-direction staff. Ship of Fools was adapted by Abby Mann from the novel by Katharine Ann Porter. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
- Starring:
- Vivien Leigh, Simone Signoret, (more)
- 1965
Marc Camoletti's popular stage farce Boeing Boeing is watered down and realigned into a Tony Curtis/Jerry Lewis vehicle. Curtis plays an American journalist living in Paris; Lewis is his goonish (but surprisingly restrained) buddy. Partial to stewardesses, Curtis manages to juggle the affections of three luscious flight attendants (Dany Saval, Christiane Schmidtmer, and Suzanna Leigh), whose schedules are such that their visits to Curtis' bachelor pad never overlap. Complications ensue when the Boeing company speeds up its air service, and when Lewis tries to muscle in on Curtis' "racket." The best lines go to Thelma Ritter as Curtis' disapproving housekeeper. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
- Starring:
- Tony Curtis, Jerry Lewis, (more)
- 1964
Russ Meyer's sex films of the 1960s invariably promised more than they delivered. To be sure, there were bosoms and bottoms aplenty, but seldom if ever any full nudity or orgasmic activity (simulated or otherwise). Fanny Hill: Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure, based on a dull, overwritten 18th century "bawdy" novel, was filmed in West Germany by exploitation producer Albert Zugsmith. Miriam Hopkins, old enough to know better, is the one "name" star of this messy romp, playing the mentor of the titular (in every sense of the word) Fanny Hill (Laetitia Roman), who after being cast aside by the world at large is given shelter in a brothel. His acute self-promotional skills aside, Russ Meyer never really learned how to direct; his "style" consisted of seconds-lasting closeups wedged into badly composed long shots, substituting speed and energy for skill. But he certainly knew his audience, as proven by the enormous worldwide box office take for Fanny Hill: Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
- Starring:
- Miriam Hopkins, Leticia Roman, (more)
- 1964
This thriller is set aboard a Frankfurt bound train and chronicles the desperate flight of an East German refugee. When the other Germans learn that the fellow is aboard, they demand that he be turned over to the authorities. Fortunately, the chief authority is a renegade and plans to disobey his orders. His actions nearly cause an international incident between the US and the Soviets and the CO is forced to reluctantly turn in the prisoner. ~ Sandra Brennan, Rovi
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