Art Metrano Movies
Moonfaced, curly-headed comic actor Art Metrano went to junior college in Stockton, California on a football scholarship; he later transferred to the College of the Pacific, majoring in acting. Returning to New York, Metrano tried to find work -- only to head back to the West Coast on the advice of an astrologer. Supporting himself as an automatic telephone system salesman, Metrano began attaining small TV parts, which led to his being cast in They Shoot Horses, Don't They? At a Christmas party, Metrano began cutting up with an improv bit in which he pretended to be a sleight-of-hand artist; the routine consisted of his humming the song "Fine and Dandy" as he'd proceed to pull invisible handkerchiefs out of his pocket and extricate himself from non-existent handcuffs. This "do-nothing magician" act led to several guest spots on The Tonight Show, Laugh-In and The Dean Martin Show, and a regular stint on 1970's The Tim Conway Hour (the theme song of which was, inevitably, "Fine and Dandy"). By 1971, Metrano was costarring in a '30s-era sitcom The Chicago Teddy Bears, playing a soft-hearted gangster. The series was axed after 13 weeks, consigning Metrano to the guest-star circuit. Art Metrano subsequently showed up in such films as Seven (1979), Breathless (1983) and Malibu Express (1984); he also had regular roles on TV's Movin' On (1974), Amy Prentiss (1974), Joanie Loves Chachi (1982), Loves Me Loves Me Not (1977) and Tough Cookies (1986). ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie GuideBailey's anger over the prospect of losing Sarah (Jennifer Love Hewitt) when she goes off to Brown University turns to joy when Sarah opts for a college closer to home; unfortunately, this doesn't mean that Sarah wants to rekindle her romance with Bailey (Scott Wolf). In a similar development, Grace (Tamara Taylor) wins the City Council election, but loses a boyfriend. And Julia (Neve Campbell) surprises everyone by making the most crucial decision of her life. Like the second-season finale of Party of Five, this last episode of the series' third season concludes with a wedding; this time, however, no one develops a case of cold feet, and the participants make it all the way through "I now pronounce you husband and wife." ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
Barry Levinson directed this cautionary fantasy fable--a triumph of production design--concerning the clash between benevolent, funny toys and malevolent, violent war toys and video games. Donald O'Connor is the kindly, gentle Kenneth Zevo, founder of Zevo Toys. The workers love him and the love they feel for Zevo comes through in the lovingly cute toys they produce. His son Leslie (Robin Williams) is an eccentric inventor who concentrates on coming up with different styles of plastic vomit and over-sized ears. His addle-headed daughter Alsatia (Joan Cusack) enjoys trying out all of Leslie's inventions. But their innocent, idyllic existence is soon to be shattered. Kenneth is dying and he is reluctant to bequeath the factory to the immature hands of Leslie and Alsatia. He finally decides to pass on his factory to his three-star general brother (Michael Gambon), reasoning that the general will run the factory efficiently and prod Leslie and Alsatia into adulthood. When Kenneth dies, the general and his army surplus son Patrick (LL Cool J) immediately turn Zevo Toys into an oppressive fascistic environment. The general also stops production of the innocent Zevo products and forces the workers to manufacture violent interactive video games and sadistic war toys. Leslie must rouse himself out of his over-long childhood to preserve the tradition of Zevo Toys. Although Toys did not fare well at the box office, it features a stunning combination of production design by Ferdinando Scarfiotti and art direction by Edward Richardson. ~ Paul Brenner, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Robin Williams, Michael Gambon, (more)
The 152nd and final episode of Hunter focuses on the titular detective's superior officer, Captain Charles Devane (Charles Hallahan). For reasons that he cannot possibly understand, Devane has been asked to be best man at the wedding of a small-time crook named Jake Hutton (played by frequent Hunter director Tony Mordente).At the same time, several of Hutton's former cellmates are pressuring him to participate in a crime, intending to frame him for murder. Blissfully unaware of all these intrigues is Jake's intended, dance instructor Wanda Crebbs (Jean Kasem). As for Hunter (Fred Dryer)...well, he manages to find himself in the thick of things long before the couple exchanges their final vows. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
In this comedy/drama, teen-aged Tony (Bentley C. Mitchum) has never known who is father is. Together with his best buddies Peter and Susan, he tracks down the clues he has as well as he can. Meanwhile, the twin brother of a Spanish priest has set out from where he lives in order to find his son, whom he has never met. (The priest and his twin are played by Christopher Mitchum.) The two search parties meet in the village where the priest lives, giving rise to all sorts of misunderstandings - for instance, that the priest was the father, and not his twin brother, whose existence no one else knows about. This leads to all sorts of trouble for the priest from his diocesesan bishop (Ernest Borgnine) and other priests. ~ Clarke Fountain, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Christopher Mitchum, Robi Rosa, (more)
This dreadfully unfunny horror-comedy is notable only for fans of Vic Tayback (Mel from TV's Alice), here in his final role as a goofy mortician who teams up with an even-goofier mad scientist (Frank Gorshin, doing a Boris Karloff impression for the length of the film) to concoct a method of reanimating cadavers, unwittingly financed by the local mob boss (Art Metrano). They are assisted in their work by the boss's nephews, sort of teenage versions of Burke & Hare (or is it Bill & Ted?), sent there to keep tabs on how their uncle's money is being spent. No prizes guessing whose corpse ends up rising from the slab to make them an offer they can't refuse. This could have been darkly-funny fare in more experienced hands; instead we're left with a film that's dead on arrival. ~ Cavett Binion, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Vic Tayback, Frank Gorshin, (more)

- 1986
- PG
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In this third installment of the slapstick comedy series about novice police officers with less than dubious abilities, two police academies have to compete with each other in order to stay in business. The state's skinflint governor claims he has less money to spread around, so one of the police training academies is going to be axed. Commandant Lassard (George Gaynes) calls back some of his former recruits to train the new batch of students, hoping to get the edge on the rival academy. Among the newcomers are brassy Cadet Zed (Bobcat Goldthwait), who is a former gang leader, and his roommate Cadet Sweetchuck (Tim Kazurinsky). Sweetchuck is a wimpy noodle whose Clint Eastwood impersonation is one of the film's most honestly funny moments. ~ Eleanor Mannikka, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Steve Guttenberg, Bubba Smith, (more)
This routine erotic spy tale stars Darby Hinton as Cody Abilene, a private eye who teams up with the Contessa Luciana (Sybil Danning) and policewoman Beverly McAfee (Lori Sutton) to infiltrate a mansion and discover who is sending computer secrets to the Russians. The Contessa's friend Lady Lillian Chamberlain (Niki Dantine) runs the mansion, where sex is the presiding activity. The chauffeur is busy bedding down both a nephew and niece of Lady Lillian, as well as the nephew's wife; fortunately, driving is not a taxing activity. While four Playboy playmates cavort in various degrees of undress (no full frontal nudity), the mystery of who is selling computer secrets manages to also get uncovered. ~ Eleanor Mannikka, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Darby Hinton, Sybil Danning, (more)

- 1985
- PG13
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In this weak, undistinguished sequel to the successful Police Academy, Mahoney and his cohorts have now graduated from their police training and are ready to tackle real criminals. The first assignment for the enthusiastic former cadets is to halt the graffiti-scribbling antics of a local gang of marauding toughs. The new lieutenant at the station (Art Metrano) is not anxious to see them succeed -- and begins to roadblock their efforts against the graffiti artists. Not to be easily outmaneuvered, Mahoney and friends plot an appropriate revenge. ~ Eleanor Mannikka, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Steve Guttenberg, Bubba Smith, (more)
Arte Johnson guests as Sydney, aka "Uncle Buckle-Up", the temperamental star of a kid's TV safety show. While working on the show as "Ruff the Bear", Hannibal (George Peppard) discovers that Uncle Buckle-Up is being threatened by shady novelty manufacturer Nick Gretsch (Art Metrano). Further investigation by the A-Team reveals that the less-than-lovable Uncle is an innocent pawn in an elaborate heroin-smuggling scheme. The climax finds a whole bunch of "modified" toys racing to the rescue, a la The March of the Wooden Soldiers. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
Arthur Hiller directed this satiric look at contemporary urban high schools, examining disillusioned teachers who try to regain their idealism. Nick Nolte stars as Alex, a teacher at John Fitzgerald Kennedy High School, who was once an idealistic teacher but whose main concern now is sobering up before the next class session. The high school is headed by ineffective principal Mr. Horn (William Schallert) and an imperious vice-principal named Roger (Judd Hirsch). When a recent graduate of the high school sues the school because it graduated him illiterate, Alex finds himself in conflict with the hard-nosed school superintendent Dr. Burke (Lee Grant). The high school heats up even more when Alex falls in love with Lisa (JoBeth Williams), the attractive lawyer who was once one of Alex's honor students. ~ Paul Brenner, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Nick Nolte, JoBeth Williams, (more)
A botched attempt to remake Jean-Luc Godard's classic nouvelle vague entry, Á Bout de souffle, Breathless follows Jesse (Richard Gere), a fugitive wanted for the murder of a police officer. In the course of his flight from the law, he hitches up with a beautiful French college student (the stunning Valerie Kaprisky), and together the two attempt to escape to Mexico. From start to finish, Breathless places style over substance; the film is almost insufferably hip, although its hipness now seems more dated than a time capsule. More attention seems paid to wardrobe, set design and soundtrack than anything else, yet it lacks any of the stark visual impact the original managed to achieve. Gere is passable as the sociopathic killer (although he relies on shirtlessness to carry him through much of the film), but Kaprisky, though beautiful, demonstrates limited acting range. ~ Jeremy Beday, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Richard Gere, Valérie Kaprisky, (more)
In this comedy, the death of his rich father leaves Foster (Tony Danza) as the sole heir to a five-million-dollar estate -- if he can keep his dad's three pet orangutans safe and sound for the next five years. With the help of his disgruntled girlfriend (Stacey Nelkin), Foster must struggle keep the outrageous apes out of trouble. ~ Iotis Erlewine, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Tony Danza, Jessica Walter, (more)

- 1981
- R
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Mel Brooks produced, directed, wrote, and starred in this episodic comedy in the spirit of Monty Python and the 1957 studio travesty The Story of Mankind. The film is divided into five sequences that play like blue-toned Eddie Cantor vaudeville sketches -- "The Dawn of Man," "The Stone Age," The Spanish Inquisition," "The Bible," and "The Future." Also included is a Brooksian depiction of The Last Supper and a long-winded sequence about the French Revolution. The film starts with a 2001: A Space Odyssey parody, narrated by Orson Welles, in which a collection of ape-men learn to stand erect (in more ways than one). The Stone Age reveals the origins of both the first homo sapien and homosexual marriages. Brooks then appears in an Old Testament sequence as Moses, descending from Mount Sinai with three heavy stone tablets bearing the 15 Commandments; after he drops one of these tablets, the laws of God become 10 Commandments. The Roman period picks up with Brooks as Comicus, attempting to get a gig as a "stand-up philosopher" at Caesar's Palace. The Spanish Inquisition is a musical production number with monks torturing Jews to lively Broadway musical strains. The final French revolution section is a broad parody of The Man in the Iron Mask story. The film closes with coming attractions of "History of the World, Part II" that features a rousing Star Wars parody (anticipating Space Balls) called "Jews in Space" that includes a jaunty theme song. ~ Paul Brenner, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Mel Brooks, Dom DeLuise, (more)
In this television outing, condors run aerial reconnaissance to find new habitats that are free of human influence. ~ Sandra Brennan, All Movie Guide
Jill Robinson's Bed-Time-Story, inspired by actual events, was the source for the made-for-TV A Cry for Love. Divorcee Susan Blakely, with no alimony and two kids to support, begins turning to amphetamines. While at her lowest ebb, she meets Powers Boothe, an alcoholic and three-time loser in marriage--who, incredibly, turns out to be the ideal man for her! Joseph Bologna and Renee Taylor were the guiding hands behind the Cry For Love teleplay. The film debuted on October 20, 1980. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

- 1980
- PG
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Jane Curtin and Susan Saint James share star-billing with Jessica Lange in this uninspired comedy about three women who need a cash infusion. (Curtin and Saint James would later co-star in the popular sitcom Kate and Allie.) Jane (Saint James) is divorced and financially pressed to raise her children in the manner to which they were accustomed. Elaine's (Curtin) husband left with all their assets except for the house and car, and Louise's (Lange) antique store is going to go bust unless she gets rid of the red ink. After the three women share their angst, they hit on a scheme of robbing cash from the local shopping mall, a place they know quite well. That familiarity, it turns out, cannot guarantee success. ~ Eleanor Mannikka, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Susan Saint James, Jessica Lange, (more)
Marred by prejudice and derogatory stereoptypes of gays and Hispanics, this subpar drama by Ken Annakin does not treat women or men well either. Bill (Mac Davis) is a detective who has just been hired by a tough lawyer, K.D. Locke (Tovah Feldshuh) to check up on some deadbeat ex-spouses who are ignoring their alimony payements. Soon Bill is caught in two complicated investigations, one focuses on a storekeeper, and the other on a sex doctor who just happens to be Locke's husband. ~ Eleanor Mannikka, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Mac Davis, Tovah Feldshuh, (more)
Cycle-flick veteran William Smith stars as the head of a highly trained US intelligence team, each with the requisite invaluable "special talent." Headquartered in Hawaii, the team aims its sights on a powerful crime syndicate. Since the syndicate's henchmen are all martial arts experts, a combination of brawn and brains will be required throughout. The title alludes to the seven mobsters who must be wiped out by Smith & company in order to collect their $7 million reward. One gag in Seven was later appropriated (unconsciously or otherwise) by Raiders of the Lost Ark. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- William Smith, Barbara Leigh, (more)
A novel by Paul Gallico provides the plot for this tale of a down-on-his-luck boxing promoter (Elliott Gould). In desperation, he plots a match between the heavyweight champion of the world (Larry Pennell) and a kangaroo. ~ John Bush, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Elliott Gould, Robert Mitchum, (more)
The longest (26-1/2 hours), most expensive ($25 million) and most complicated (four directors, five producers, five cinematographers, almost 100 speaking parts, several hundred extras) project made for television up to that time, Centennial was shown in two- and three-hour installments over a period of four months. An adaptation of James Michener's best-selling novel, it told the story of the settling of the American West by looking at the founding of the fictional town of Centennial, Colorado, from the settling of the area in the late 18th century to the present. Emmy-nominated for film editing and art direction, it boasts of sterling performances from Richard Chamberlain as frontiersman Alexander McKeag, Robert Conrad as the French-Canadian trapper Pasquinel, and a surprisingly powerful performance from former football star Alex Karras as compassionate but iron-willed immigrant farmer Hans Brumbaugh. ~ Brian Gusse, All Movie Guide
Archie fully expects that his bar will make a fortune on Super Bowl Sunday. What Archie hadn't counted on was the fact that two holdup men would likewise covet the contents of the bar's cash register. This is the episode in which virtually the entire cast is stripped to their undies. Written by Bob Schiller and Bob Weiskopf, "Archie and the Super Bowl" originally aired on January 15, 1978, right after CBS' telecast of Super Bowl XII (Broncos vs. Cowboys, in case you need a reminder). ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Carroll O'Connor, Jean Stapleton, (more)
Several adult members of the same high-school graduating class have turned up dead, killed by an assailant who wields a zip gun and leaves the word "Monkey" scrawled at each crime scene. The viewer is soon apprised of the fact that the murderer is one Charley Belasco (Gary Lockwood), fresh out of prison after serving 20 years for a crime he'd committed to qualify for membership in a teenage gang. It is up to Stone (Mike Douglas) and Keller (Richard Hatch) to figure out where the vengeance-driven "Monkey" Belasco plans to strike next! ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
In this crime drama, two dogged FBI agents are on the case to investigate one of the U.S.'s most infamous bank robberies. ~ Sandra Brennan, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Darren McGavin, Leslie Nielsen, (more)
"The Mansion" is a huge estate in which vices of all sorts are bought and sold. With the Syndicate holding the Mansion in an iron grip, the police have been unable to shut the place down. Hoping to succeed where his colleagues have failed, Tony Baretta (Robert Blake) gains entrance to the Mansion by posing as a gangster on the lam. Sondra Blake, the then wife of series star Robert Blake, is one of the supporting players in this tension-packed episode. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Robert Blake, Dana Elcar, (more)

- 1975
- G
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Kurt Russell returns as Dexter Riley, the dedicated student of Medfield College who just can't stay out of trouble, in this follow-up to The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes and Now You See Him, Now You Don't. In this story, Dexter is trying to devise a formula for a chemistry project that will increase human strength . By accident, he discovers that, when he mixes his concoction with another student's recipe for vitamin-fortified cereal, it gives people super-human strength, but only for a few minutes. Ignoring these drawbacks, Dean Higgins (Joe Flynn) makes a deal to sell the miracle cereal to a leading breakfast-food concern, unaware that it's Dexter's secret ingredient that makes the cereal work. Meanwhile, when word gets out about the new strength-boosting cereal, several competing companies decide that they need to wipe the new product off the market. Cesar Romero returns from the first film as A.J. Arno, with Phil Silvers, Eve Arden, and Richard Bakalyan highlighting the supporting cast. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Kurt Russell, Joe Flynn, (more)


















