Michelle Bauer Movies
Lead actress Michelle Bauer has appeared onscreen from the late '80s, mostly in low-budget films. ~ All Movie Guide
As war tears apart a nation, a romantic rivalry devastates a family in this historical drama. During the height of the Civil War, Union officer Col. Evans (Miles O'Keefe) claims the estate of the Marley family as his troops lay waste to the surrounding territory. Evans and his men take two women who'd been left behind at the house, Angela and Olivia, as prisoners. Angela and Olivia are sisters, and as romantic sparks begin to fly between Evans and both women in the confined quarters of the mansion, an ugly rivalry grows between the two women as they fight over who will win the Colonel's affections. Blood and Honor features Michelle Bauer as the elder of the two sisters and Maria Ortiz as the family's fiery Cajun servant. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide
- 1998
Scream queens Michelle Bauer and Linnea Quigley star in this sexy mystery from cult filmmaker Jess Franco. When several local people turn up missing, Sheriff Marga (Bauer) investigates. Soon she finds herself thrust into the lurid world surrounding the mysterious nightclub owner Tarantula (Lina Romay). Mari Cookie and Killer Tarantula also stars Amber Newman and Robert King. ~ Matthew Tobey, All Movie Guide
This low-budget (very low budget) sci-fi comedy is about three aliens who land in Fort Lee, New Jersey. In order to blend in, they morph themselves to look like the local women. Unfortunately, most of the local women look like hookers, and the three of them are continually hit upon by nerdy teenage boys. ~ Brian Gusse, All Movie Guide
It's Greek versus Geek once again in this sequel to the broad comedy Assault of the Party Nerds. Evil but slow-witted frat boy Bud (Christopher Dempsey) hasn't changed much in the five years since he graduated from college -- he somehow convinced his well-meaning former girlfriend, Muffin (Michelle Bauer), to marry him even though he's doing more than his share of fooling around on the side and her father, Randolph (Burt Ward), has given Bud a job in the family business. However, Bud and Randolph's duplicitous secretary, Heady (Tane McClure), have hatched a plan to take Randolph's business away from him. Randolph is certain Bud is up to something, so he calls in a private detective to follow him; the detective turns out to be none other than Richie Spencer (Richard Gabai), Bud's "Party Nerd" nemesis from his college days. While Richie digs up the dirt on Bud, he also signs on to help another client, Norm Witherspoon (Arte Johnson), who has a hunch his wife, Tina (Rhonda Shear), is being unfaithful to him. Assault of the Party Nerds 2: The Heavy Petting Detective also features Linnea Quigley and Robert Dorfmann. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide
- 1993
A co-ed has a devil of a time getting even with the members of an upper-crust sorority in this horror-comedy. Becky (Veronica Carothers) is a pretty but woefully naïve college student who is determined to join the most exclusive sorority on campus. However, her would-be sisters seem to be more interested in putting her through one embarrassing hazing ritual after another than making friends with her. One night, Becky muses out loud that she'd be willing to sell her soul to be rich, pretty, and powerful like her sorority sisters. Who should conveniently appear but the Devil himself (Robert Vaughn), who informs Becky that he can make her dream a reality. Becky takes him up on the offer, and she's transformed into Leslie, a dazzling sex bomb who can shape-shift into a monster and wreck revenge against her enemies whenever the fancy strikes her. Witch Academy also stars Priscilla Barnes, Michelle Bauer, and Jay Richardson. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Suzanne Ager, Priscilla Barnes, (more)
- 1993
Shot on inferior video stock (but sporting pretentious "letterbox" screen-masking for some insane reason), this painfully cheap and sleazy affair presents a serial killer on wheels, in the form of wheelchair-bound Eugene (Ron Litman), who seeks revenge against the street punks who killed his mother and rendered him unable to walk. When similar thugs rape and kill his aunt (Mary Woronov), Eugene seems to slip into Taxi Driver mode. When his attempts at preparation are thwarted by his infirmity, he is assisted at first by a like-minded homeless man (G.J. Levinson), but when his accomplice chickens out, Eugene kills him and rises to the challenge on his own, building confidence with each attack. Eventually he hits on the ultimate plan of revenge: by poisoning the water supply with a drug that will destroy the city's wealthy populace, literally turning them into bums! Though he is ostensibly directing his revenge on society as a whole, Eugene seems to favor naked or barely-clad female victims -- which seems more indicative of the director's hang-ups than those of his principal character. A waste of time, despite the presence of the always-interesting Woronov. ~ Cavett Binion, All Movie Guide
- 1993
No sooner did Jurassic Park score at the box office than the imitations began turning up like bad pennies. The redoubtable Fred Olen Ray, once more delivering a bankable project at the least possible cost, was responsible for Dinosaur Island. Typical of the Ray ouevre is the presence of several top-heavy young ladies, whose costumes can be mercifully described as immodest. The dinosaurs are rubber novelty-shop creations that wouldn't convince a dim-witted duck, but they serve their purpose in forcing the females in the cast to jiggle past the camera in abject horror. Ross Hagen, a veteran of this sort of fare, heads the cast of Dinosaur Island, doing an excellent job of convincing us that the dialogue he's been given is actually worth reciting. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
A foster home-bound 9-year-old and his aging grandmother run from the authorities in this drama. ~ All Movie Guide
- 1991
Nearly every apartment dweller can empathize with the effort it takes Rajanna and Geeta to locate a suitable apartment that is within their means. After a considerable effort, they finally find a place they can live in and begin making an effort to redecorate it to their taste. They have just begun to enjoy their domestic arrangements when a mysterious group of people move into a tin shed at the back of their apartment compound and begin making odd banging sounds in the middle of the night. Despite their strenuous efforts to evict the newcomers, or at least get them to do their noisy business during the day time, the increasingly agitated couple are unsuccessful. ~ Clarke Fountain, All Movie Guide
- 1991
Prepare to scream and soak at the same time as collection of clips from such slasher flicks as Sorority House Massacre 2, Tower of Terror, Slumber Party Massacre, and Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers are all combined into one brand-new fright fest that doesn't skimp on the skin. Brought together under mysterious circumstances by the legendary Count Orlock, Brinke Stevens, Monique Gabrielle, Kelli Maroney, Michelle Bauer, and Roxanne Kernohan arrive at their destination only to discover that the count is nowhere to be found. In hopes of passing the time before their host arrives, the girls soon retire to the hot tub to discuss the finer points of achieving scream queen status. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide
It's Nerds vs. Frats (again) when the Nerds use a wing-ding party as a recruiting tactic. The jocks are out to spoil the party and harass the nerds. This is a video-only release. ~ All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Michelle Bauer, Linnea Quigley, (more)
- 1989
In this film, a successful Las Vegas businessman decides to relive his days as a CIA agent when he sets out to seek revenge on the people who murdered his friend. ~ Iotis Erlewine, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Don Scribner, Michelle Bauer, (more)
- 1988
An electrical storm provides the shock to wake a movie mogul from the dead to seek his revenge on those who executed him for a crime he did not perform. ~ All Movie Guide
- 1988
"B"-sleaze auteur Fred Olen Ray pounded out this vampire parody, which stars career nerd Eddie Deezen as an affable dork and wannabe Hollywood hot-shot who discovers that a high-market bordello -- overseen by slinky Madam Cassandra (Britt Ekland) -- is actually a den of lascivious vampire bimbos from hell. Though his companions are easily lured by the ladies' deadly charms, Deezen takes a definite liking to his self-proclaimed title of Vampire Hunter, even going as far as to sew a crucifix into his skivvies. Laughing yet? This is actually one of Ray's more witty efforts -- with a manic pace, some clever in-jokes, copious amounts of skin, and a throwaway attitude that makes the relentless silliness a bit more palatable... although Deezen's hyperkinetic mugging may be more than some viewers can endure. ~ Cavett Binion, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Eddie Deezen, Britt Ekland, (more)
- 1987
Moronic teens vacationing in Demonwood Forest are terrorized by a shambling Neanderthal -- not the director, but a big goon in a fuzzy ape suit who attacks George Kennedy and hauls his daughter off into the woods to a fate worse than death... perhaps to a screening of this movie. As it turns out, the rampaging beastie (which looks like a soiled feather-duster on legs) is not the local monster of mountain legend but merely a front for the subterranean activities of a cult of devil-worshipping aliens (they could have just called the tabloids if they needed better PR), who pass the time turning the locals into zombies... not a difficult task, especially with this brain-dead bunch. Cheap sets, dime-store costumes and Dinner Theater thesping lend a certain chintzy Ed Wood charm to the proceedings, but even this level of absurdity can't cover up the fact that the film's investors -- to say nothing of the audience -- probably felt profoundly rooked. ~ Cavett Binion, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- George Kennedy, David Michael O'Neill, (more)
- 1987
In this farcical horror outing, a pair of successful young executives visit a cat house and end up clawing for survival when the shady ladies therein turn out to be sexually insatiable zombies. ~ Sandra Brennan, All Movie Guide
After watching her partner get murdered, a policewoman packs it in and hits the road. She ends up near the Mexican border, where she is unjustly picked up with several other women and charged with white slavery. She must fight to protect herself from physical and sexual assault behind bars. ~ All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Melanie Coll, William Kulzer, (more)
Fred Olen Ray always manages to attract major names to his bargain-basement actioners, and Armed Response is no exception. The scene is Chinatown, where Yakuza boss Mako yearns to get his hands on a stolen jade statue. David Goss, son of retired cop Lee van Cleef and the brother of Vietnam veterans David Carradine and Brent Huff, is hired by Mako to deliver half a million dollars to the crooks who've got the statue. Things go awry, ending in a shootout. Mortally wounded, Goss brings the statue home, at which point a vengeful Carradine picks up the storyline. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- David Carradine, Lee Van Cleef, (more)
- 1986
This low-budget, supernatural, tongue-in-cheek story is about an ancient Egyptian princess out to maintain her immortality. Nefratis (Michelle Bauer) has two problems: her tomb has been desecrated, and she needs some special amulets (now in California) that are used in the rituals of human sacrifice to keep herself alive. After she kills the professor responsible for the sacrilege committed against her tomb, the professor's son David Manners (Richard Alan Hench) and his friend Helen (Susan Stokey) set out to solve the mystery behind the murder. ~ Eleanor Mannikka, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Cameron Mitchell, John Carradine, (more)
- 1985
This low-budget martial arts fantasy adventure is set in LA after WW III and chronicles the battle between the wheelchair-bound peacenik nun Mother Speed and the wicked Dr. Saticoy. It seems that Mother possesses a special crystal (used in their worship of a big yellow "have a nice day," smiley face). The bad doctor and his skate-boarding goons are desperate to get it. Unfortunately, she is protected by her roller-blading beauties and he must send in a decoy in order to get it. Yes, it is as campy as it sounds. ~ Sandra Brennan, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Suzanne Solari, Jeff Hutchinson, (more)
- 1995
- R
When a finalist for "Centerfold of the Year" downs an experimental beauty-enhancing potion concocted by mad-scientist Dr. Lindholm, the unforseen side effects render her a shaply 60 feet tall. Jealous over all the attention, a rival guzzles the elixir, and soon the gargantuan beauties are battling it out and trashing much of Hollywood Boulvard in the process. ~ Jonathan Crow, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- J.J. North, Ted Monte, (more)
- 1994
- R
Full Moon Pictures presents this softcore horror film, starring cult-favorite Julie Strain in the role of Illyana the leader of a group of vampires masquerading as models. Michelle Bauer plays an innocent and nubile young woman who thinks she's going to work for a modeling agency, but soon finds herself in the clutches of a sexy band of bloodsucking creatures of the night. Martin Sheen's brother Joe Estevez co-stars. ~ Matthew Tobey, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Julie Strain, Michelle Bauer, (more)
