Cristian Solimeno Movies
- 2008
In the tradition of such nothing-goes-right heist films as Big Deal on Madonna Street and Dog Day Afternoon comes Tu£sday - the seriocomic exploration of the chaos that can ensue when three different groups of criminals make the disastrous decision to rob the same bank on the very same day. In one corner of the City of Big Ben, a band of professional thieves known as The Cowboys - Billy (Ashley Walters), Earp (Philip Glenister), Butch (Cristian Solimeno) and Silver (John Simm) - learn that a precious emerald called the Meidan-i-Noor is being held overnight at a nearby bank; sensing opportunity afoot, they plan a heist. Meanwhile, office worker William (Linal Haft) isn't aware of the jewel per se, but decides to rob the bank of cash as an outlet for his desperation; he's being abandoned by his wife, and once she leaves he will face eviction from his home. And in the bank itself, two tellers, Samantha (Kirsty Mitchell) and Angie (Kate Macgowan) grow so infuriated at being passed over for a promotion that they also hatch a plan to steal the jewel. The three plots unfurl at the same time, leading to a host of complications and a wealth of confusion that balloons to almost farcical proportions. ~ Nathan Southern, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Philip Glenister, John Simm, (more)
A young couple on the run takes the owner of a posh villa hostage after being surrounded by police, only to find that their ace in the hole is a dangerous serial killer. Nick and Celia are desperate; their lives in shambles, they know that the future holds great things if they can just make it to the United States to start a new life together. But Nick is a former criminal whose old partners aren't willing to wipe the slate clean until he's paid off some lingering debts. As the pressure mounts to appease his old criminal cohorts, Nick decides to square up by robbing a small gas station. Unfortunately, in the course of the heist, Nick shoots a young police officer and a Special Forces Unit is quickly dispatched. Terrified and with nowhere to turn, Nick and Celina take refuge in the remote villa of Victor von Hartenberg (Billy Zane), taking the owner hostage until they can concoct an escape plan. Just as Special Forces begin to raid the villa, the couple notices that the dining room is riddled with the corpses of a murdered family. Just who is the hostage that sits before them claiming to be Victor von Hartenberg? With the police waiting outside and a dangerous maniac as their hostage inside, Nick and Celia will have to think fast if they hold out any hope of surviving this dangerous predicament. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Billy Zane, Cristian Solimeno, (more)
After beginning the witchy tale of the malevolent "Three Mothers" at a secretive ballet academy in Freiburg, Germany (Suspiria), and later tracking the supernatural goings-on to a doomed tenement building in New York City (Inferno), Italian horror icon Dario Argento draws his long-running trilogy to a close with this third and final installment, set in the Italian capital. Co-scripted by Toolbox Murders screenwriters Adam Gierasch and Jace Anderson, Mother of Tears stars Asia Argento as an American art student who unknowingly unleashes a demonic plague of witches on Rome by breaking the seal of an ancient urn. Udo Kier, Adam James, Philippe Leroy, and Daria Nicolodi also appear in the eagerly anticipated tale of Mater Lachrymarum -- the third and most powerful witch in the terrifying trilogy. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Asia Argento, Coralina Cataldi-Tassoni, (more)
On the twentieth anniversary of the cult sci-fi hit Highlander, the legend is reborn in a new trilogy that follows Immortal Highlander Duncan MacLeod (Adrian Paul) on his journey to discover the origin of the first Immortal and unlock the secret source of eternal life. As the world crumbles to chaos and the city falls down all around him, MacLeod's memories drift back to the time he spent with his one true love. Later, when MacLeod comes into contact with a close-knit band of Immortals that include the mysterious Methos and mortal Watcher Joe Dawson, the group sets out on a mission to uncover the secret that has eluded his people for centuries. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Adrian Paul, Peter Wingfield, (more)
Season Two of the ribald British series Footballers' Wives begins some five months after the end of Season One, rapidly tying up loose story ends to make way for even more outrageous plot complications. After the rescue of his kidnapped daughter Holly, Ian Walmsley (Nathan Constance), a player on the Earls Park Sparks football team, finally realizes there is something more important in his life than sports--but how will he and his wife Donna (Katharine Monaghan) be able to reimburse his Italian teammate Sal (Daniel Schutzmann), who has ponied up the ransom money? Well, Donna at least has a solution: She goes to bed with Sal, sending Ian into an alcoholic tailspin when he finds out. Meanwhile, team member Kyle (Gary Lucy) and his ex-topless model bride Chardonnay (Susie Amy) are happily raising Paddy, the child borne by Kyle's mom Jackie (Gillian Taylforth) after her affair with Jordan (Cristian Solimero), the team-captain husband of bed-hopping, coke-snorting Tanya (Zoe Lucker). And speaking of Tanya, she has managed to wriggle out of being prosecuted for attempting to murder team owner Frank (John Forgeham) by turning the tables and insisting that Frank tried to rape her. Later in the season Tanya sleeps with her husband's bisexual agent Hazel (Alison Newman), and as a result of a drug bust is forced to do community service under the baleful eye of Frank's sadistic nurse Janette Dunkley (Julie LeGrand), who is armed with the knowledge that Tanya had tried to kill Frank while he was in a coma. Also: After a brief fling with Donna, Sal takes up with a neurotic girl named Freddie (Jessica Brooks), who prompts an arm-wrestling match between Sal and Jason--in which the latter's arm catches fire! And while Donna's ex Ian plunges deeper and deeper into the doldrums, the Sparks' coach Stefan(Philip Bretherton) replaces him with teenaged hotshot Darius (Peter Ash), who finds himself next on Tanya's "sack list." The season ends with Frank trying to purge his life of the troublesome Tanya, who makes a bloody spectacle of herself during the ceremony in which she was supposed to renew her marital vows with Jason. Suddenly, a mysterious stroke of fate succeeds in bumping off two of the series' main characters in one fell swoop! ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Zoë Lucker, Cristian Solimeno, (more)
Season One of the delightfully debauched British series Footballers' Wives begans as Ian Walmsley (Nathan Constance) is chosen to play first team on the Earls Park Sparks football club. Ian's wife Donna (Katharine Monaghan) is almost as delighted by her husband's new job as she is at the prospect of locating the son that she gave up for adoption. Meanwhile, the Sparks' hotheaded captain Jason (Cristian Solimero) is worried that he's going to be dropped in favor of Italian import Sal Biagi (Daniel Schutzmann). Taking advantage of the fact that team owner Frank (John Forgeham) is in a coma, Jason and his libidinous cokehead wife Tanya (Zoe Lucker) plot to murder Frank before negotiations with Sal can be completed, and in so doing they attempt to enlist the aid of Frank's sinister nurse Janet Dunkley (Julie LeGrand). Also, ex-topless model Chardonnay (Susie Amy), the wife of team player Kyle (Gary Lucy), is thrilled to learn that she is pregnant--only it isn't Chardonnay who is really expecting, but instead Kyle's mother Jackie (Gillian Taylforth), who has been fooling around by Jason. The season ends with Frank awakening from his coma and figuring out what Jason and Tanya are up to, leading to a "battle royale"; and, coming full circle, Ian and Donna agonizing over the kidnapping of their daughter Holly, a nasty bit of intrigue that will somehow involve our pal Sal. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Zoë Lucker, Cristian Solimeno, (more)
