Scott L. Schwartz Movies
Scary Movie screenwriters Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer join forces to parody the "biggest" movies ever to hit the silver screen in this comedy that gives such popular box-office hits as Pirates of the Caribbean and Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe the same treatment that Scary Movie gave to the slasher subgenre. A virtual smorgasbord of spoof, Epic Movie tells the tale of four fully grown orphans: one the victim of snakes that attacked her plane, another raised by a kindly Louvre curator, the third a Mexican "libre" wrestling refuge, and the last an average mutant from an "X"-community. When the curious quartet visits a sprawling chocolate factory, they stumble across a magical wardrobe which transports them to the enchanted land of Gnarnia. It seems that the wondrous fantasy land has recently fallen under the spell of the evil White Bitch (Jennifer Coolidge), and in order to bring peace back to Gnarnia these four bumbling mortals will have to join forces with a charismatic pirate, a painfully sincere group of aspiring wizards, and one particularly libidinous lion. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Kal Penn, Adam Campbell, (more)
In the stomach-turning tradition of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Hostel, and Jeepers Creepers comes the direct-to-video slasherfest Blood Ranch, starring James Fitzpatrick, Madeleine Lindley, Dayton Knoll, and Daniel O'Meara. A group of co-eds on a cross-country desert journey save a young woman from an imposing black van. Shortly afterward, their car mysteriously breaks down and they are forced to seek asylum at a nearby ranch. Little do they realize that it houses denizens of "The Web" -- a twisted allegiance of psychopaths, sexual predators, and mentally impaired subhuman maniacs who devote their lives to finding unsuspecting young men and women to systematically imprison, torture, and dismember. Their latest captors will be forced to claw their way out in a bloody battle to the death -- if they hope to ever see the outside world again. Corbin Timbrook directs, from a script by Antonio Hernandez. ~ Nathan Southern, All Movie Guide
In the grand tradition of Undercover Brother and Starsky and Hutch comes the outrageous, off-the-wall direct-to-video cop comedy Cain and Abel. Terrence Flack and Shane Woodson star as Malcolm Cain and John Abel, two hapless and hopeless undercover LAPD detectives who must flaunt the law to tackle department corruption head-on. ~ Nathan Southern, All Movie Guide
After pulling off the heist of their lives, Danny Ocean and his pals unexpectedly find themselves back in harness in this sequel to 2001's blockbuster hit Ocean's Eleven. After robbing a cool $160 million from the Bellaggio Hotel Casino and winning back his former wife, Tess (Julia Roberts), from Bellagio owner Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia), Danny Ocean (George Clooney) is living quietly on the lam in Connecticut when he's unexpectedly approached by Benedict. It seems Benedict has tracked down Danny and the ten men who helped him pull off the seemingly impossible robbery, and Benedict offers them a proposal -- if they can repay the $160 million in two weeks, he won't have them killed. As it turns out, both Danny and his best friend, Rusty Ryan (Brad Pitt), haven't been doing so well in terms of money management and could use some cash, so they set out to plan a robbery to recover the loot, with the same crew helping out -- Linus Caldwell (Matt Damon), Frank Catton (Bernie Mac), Basher Tarr (Don Cheadle), Saul Bloom (Carl Reiner), Reuben Tishkoff (Elliott Gould), Livingston Dell (Eddie Jemison), Yen (Shaobo Qin), Virgil Malloy (Casey Affleck), and his brother Turk (Scott Caan). Danny and Rusty discover that an incredibly rare Fabergé egg is being displayed at a museum in Rome which would fetch the price they need, but they soon discover a notorious cat burglar, François Toulour (Vincent Cassel), is also after the egg, and it turns into a race to see who can claim it first. Adding to the intrigue is Isabel Lahiri (Catherine Zeta-Jones), a woman Rusty used to be involved with who is now a top agent with Interpol and is after both Toulour and Ocean's crew. Shot on location in both the United States and Europe, Ocean's Twelve was, like its precursor, directed by the stylish Steven Soderbergh, who also photographed the picture under his nom de lens, Peter Andrews. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- George Clooney, Brad Pitt, (more)
A rag-tag group of con artists and ex-cons team up for the heist to end all heists in this high-profile remake of the 1960 Rat Pack favorite. As with its predecessor, Ocean's Eleven opens with its titular hero Danny Ocean (George Clooney stepping into the Frank Sinatra role) eager for a new challenge. The similarities to the original end there, as Ocean conspires with his old pal Rusty Ryan (Brad Pitt) to rob 150 million dollars from an underground vault that serves three of Las Vegas' biggest casinos. Between the two of them, they recruit nine other men, each with his own criminal specialty, to assist in the mission: moneyman Reuben Tishkoff (Elliot Gould), card dealer Frank (Bernie Mac), pickpocket Linus (Matt Damon), aging con artist Saul (Carl Reiner), British explosives pro Basher (Don Cheadle), techie Dell (Eddie Jemison), rude-boy brothers Virgil (Casey Affleck) and Turk (Scott Caan), and professional acrobat Yen (Shaobo Qin). What Ocean doesn't tell the group is that there's another reason he's coordinating the heist: the three casinos they're robbing are all owned by ruthless gambling mogul Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia), who just happens to be married to Ocean's former love Tess (Julia Roberts). Ocean's Eleven was updated by scribe Ted Griffin and marked the third feature shot by director Steven Soderbergh under the alias Peter Andrews. ~ Michael Hastings, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- George Clooney, Brad Pitt, (more)
- 1990
- R
In this thriller, geek Martin (Stephen Quadros) makes his dream of becoming a famous rock musician come true when he sells his soul to the Devil. As Martin is rocketed to stardom as a performer known as Angel, he is also transformed into a ghoulish undead creature who must kill in order to survive. ~ Iotis Erlewine, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Traci Lords, Stephen Quadros, (more)
