Traci Lords Movies
Actress Nora Louise Kuzmas' stage name was adapted from "Tracy Lord," the high-toned character played by Katharine Hepburn in The Philadelphia Story (1940). Any resemblance between Traci Lords and Hepburn begins and ends here. A onetime Penthouse "Pet," Lords told the producers that she was 18 when she was starred in her first X-rated film in 1983; in truth, she would not reach adulthood for another three years. By that point, Lords had already appeared in nearly 80 hard-breathing movie vehicles -- which, when her underage status became public knowledge, were immediately rendered illegal and removed post-haste from virtually every video rental shelf in the country. Since this tempest-in-a-teapot scandal, Traci Lords has emerged as a competent adult leading lady in theatrical films like John Waters' Cry Baby (1990) and Serial Mom (1994), television series like Melrose Place and Bandit, and the Stephen King TV miniseries The Tommyknockers (1993). ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide- 1985
Red Hot Rock features uncensored versions of 11 rock music videos, including songs by Queen and by Duran Duran. ~ All Movie Guide
A deliberately campy remake of a Roger Corman low-budget sci-fi outing from 1957, this horror film tells the gruesome story of a bloodthirsty alien who comes to our planet looking to replenish his planet's declining food supply. ~ Sandra Brennan, All Movie Guide
- 1989
Even 17 years of marriage is not nearly as painful as the toothache currently plaguing Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill). In desperation, Al visits his neighbor Marcy's (Amanda Bearse) dentist, who bears the Three Stoogelike name of Dr. Plierson (Joe Flaherty). As the session progresses, both Al and Plierson are perilously distracted by buxom dental assistant T.C. (played by former adult-film ingénue Traci Lords). ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
- 1989
- R
Roger Corman's production company does it again with this fast-paced, funny send-up of grade "B" movie-making. Like the first Hollywood Boulevard, this story is set at the kitschiest production company in Tinsel Town, Miracle Pictures. The trouble begins during the filming of Barbarian Goddesses of the Amazon It seems someone has been bumping off the studio's buxom starlets. Poor studio head Max Miranda is frantic to find new ones. When toothsome Candy Chandler slinks in, someone mistakes her for an extra and rushes her into the set for Barbarian, where Max becomes instantly enamored and begins promising her that she will be the studio's brightest young star, something that doesn't set well with jealous diva Mary Randolph. Corman fans will again be delighted by the many clips from earlier New World films and by the many inside jokes. ~ Sandra Brennan, All Movie Guide
- 1989
- PG13
Two wacky guys find both romance and fortune in the hamburger business in this comedy. Augie (Clark Brandon) and Drew (Randal Patrick) are a pair of longtime students at Hopkins University who've been making a living by pulling one semi-legal scam after another for years, but one day the dean (J. Don Ferguson) decides he's had enough of their antics and gets rid of them the best way he knows how -- he graduates them. Forced into the real world, the guys are looking for something resembling a career when Augie gets surprising news. His cousin Samantha (Tracy Griffith) runs a gas station where he works part time, but she's considering selling the place to Wrangler Bob Bundy (Jim Varney), the owner of a local burger chain who is convinced the gas station would be the perfect location for a new franchise. Drew figures if the place would be the right spot for a burger joint, they should open one themselves, and eventually Augie and Drew persuade Samantha to go along with the idea. The business gets off to a slow start, but things pick up when Drew's buddy Calvin (Lanny Horn) cooks up a special sauce for the burgers which has aphrodisiacal side effects. Wrangler Bob isn't about to give up without a fight, though, and hires corporate spy Dixie Love (Traci Lords) to get the inside scoop on the burger stand's sudden popularity. Fast Food also stars Kevin McCarthy, Michael J. Pollard, and Pamela Springsteen (Bruce's younger sister). ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Clark Brandon, Randal Patrick, (more)
John Waters does a quirky spin on '50s nostalgia in Cry-Baby, his musical homage to Rebel Without a Cause and Romeo and Juliet. Set in Baltimore in 1954 at the birth of rock & roll, the film features Johnny Depp as Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker. Depp is pure charisma as a juvenile delinquent with a permanent tear slithering down his cheek, a reminder of his state-executed parents. In the depths of his despair appears goody-goody girl Allison (Amy Locane), who has a sexual crush on Cry-Baby. But Allison's Pat Boone-like boyfriend, Baldwin (Stephen E. Miller), the leader of the squares, is dead set against Cry-Baby and the rest of the juvenile delinquents and leads a revolt against them. In the resultant riot, the juvenile delinquents are blamed for the chaos, and Cry-Baby finds himself dispatched to reform school. ~ Paul Brenner, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Johnny Depp, Amy Locane, (more)
- 1990
- R
In this thriller, geek Martin (Stephen Quadros) makes his dream of becoming a famous rock musician come true when he sells his soul to the Devil. As Martin is rocketed to stardom as a performer known as Angel, he is also transformed into a ghoulish undead creature who must kill in order to survive. ~ Iotis Erlewine, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Traci Lords, Stephen Quadros, (more)
In this thriller, a free-lance photographer is falsely convicted of possessing cocaine and is sentenced to jail time and 400 hours of community service. For the latter she must work with the LAPD and take favorable pictures of them doing their jobs for a public relations campaign. She willingly does this so she can regain custody of her young son. The trouble begins when she snaps a picture of Officer Eddie Martin, the cop who got her falsely arrested, killing a pimp. Unfortunately, the corrupt cop catches her catching him and now her life and the life of her son is in terrible danger. ~ Sandra Brennan, All Movie Guide
- 1991
While working as a janitor in a private detective's office, Al is mistaken for a "P.I." by a beautiful client named Vanessa Van Pelt (played by the formidable Traci Lords). Donning trench-coat and snap-brim, Al goes "noir" to help Vanessa claim a valuable gem which is in dangered of being pilfered by her greedy family--and for his troubles ends up accused of murder. This episode takes into account the recent real-life miscarriage of series star Katey Sagal by setting up a Dallas-like "explanation" as to why suddenly two of the characters are no longer pregnant, neatly negating EVERYTHING that has happened since the beginning of Season Six. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
When, during a rash of grotesque shotgun murders, a young race car driver goes to the police claiming that he's been having dreams about the killer, he gets locked up as the suspect. A lady reporter falls in love with the suspect and sets out prove his innocence and find the real killer. A rogue biker who accosts the reporter and kidnaps her is thought to be the killer in question so after he's slaughtered in a shoot-out, they figure they've solved the shotgun slayings. But have they? ~ All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Glenn Ford, Sandahl Bergman, (more)
- 1991
Murder in High Places is a made-for-TV whodunit set at a Colorado ski resort ("High Places." Get It?). Adam Baldwin, an ex-football pro turned cop, is the investigating officer in a homicide case. He is aided and abetted by Ted Levine, an alcoholic ex-newsman (what price Hunter Thompson?) who is the new mayor of the Colorado resort town where the murder occurred. The preponderance of colorful supporting characters is a sure tip-off that Murder in High Places was meant to the pilot for a series. Whether or not the series could have afforded Adam Baldwin is a moot point, since no one, least of all the audience, was interested in the project. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
- 1992
- NC17
Traci Lords stars as Vicki Stewart, an undercover cop on the trail of drug kingpin Salvador (Angelo Tiffe). ~ Jason Ankeny, All Movie Guide
- 1992
In this action thriller, a big city where crime is commonplace is shocked by the news of a psychotic killer on the loose. Striking every full moon, the murderer is a necrophile who kills beautiful women with a surgical laser, and then violates their bodies. The police are desperate for a lead when a man claiming to be the killer calls into a talk radio show hosted by Barbara Fleck (Traci Lords), a beautiful scientific authority with a background in criminology. Barbara finds herself being used as human bait to draw "The Laser Moon Killer" out of hiding and into the clutches of the police, but Barbara soon discovers just how dangerous this game can be. Laser Moon also features Harrison Le Duke and Crystal Shaw. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide
Traci Lords and Amy Yasbeck star in this anarchic comedy about a pair of identical twins separated at birth. One goes on to be a politician, while the other suffers from a bizarre multiple personality disorder. When the two are reunited and not everyone is sure who is whom, heads start to roll and comedy is the result. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide
- 1993
When a gang battle costs a man one of his closest relatives, he sets his sights on evening the score in this crime drama. When two rival crime factions begin waging war on each other over control of prostitution and drug trafficking, a woman who was merely an innocent bystander is killed in the crossfire. Her brother, devastated by the loss, is determined to get revenge and enlists the help of a street-smart prostitute to find out who was responsible for his sister's death. Ritmo del Silenzio, also released under the titles Desperate Crimes, Port of Crime, and Mafia Docks, stars Franco Columbo, Traci Lords, and Denise Crosby as the streetwalker. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide
Adapted for TV, this is a Stephen King story in which an aspiring writer and an alcoholic poet (with a metal plate in his head, no less) literally stumble over a long-buried spaceship while walking in the woods. It starts glowing green when uncovered and soon everyone in town has green eyes, their teeth fall out and they act out all of their fantasies (violent or otherwise). Guess who's immune to the power of this alien spaceship? You got it--our good old metal-headed poet can save the day if he can get it together enough to do so. Really more of a B movie than most King horrorfests. ~ Tana Hobart, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Jimmy Smits, Marg Helgenberger, (more)
- 1993
After receiving an ominous warning from a gypsy fortune teller, Tessa (Alexandra Van Der Noot) is kidnapped by Pallin Wolf (Andrew Jackson), a rogue Watcher. It is all part of a scheme to draw Tessa's Immortal sweetheart, Duncan (Adrian Paul), out in the open -- thus leaving him vulnerable to Wolf's deadly final assault. Although a rescue is successfully pulled off, the ending of this episode is numbingly tragic. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Adrian Paul, Alexandra Van Der Noot, (more)
Don't worry: former porn queen Traci Lords was "of age" when she starred in Ice. Lords and Phillip Troy play a husband-and-wife team of thieves who steal a fortune in diamonds. Problem is, they've stolen it from a mob kingpin. Before the film's halfway point, Lords is going it alone, running helter-skelter across the country from the mob boss' gunmen with the "ice" in tow. Inasmuch as this is a chase film, it's altogether appropriate that the screenwriter of Ice is one Sean Dash. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
- 1993
- R
Dennis Skinner (Ted Raimi) seems like a normal enough guy, but he has a very abnormal hobby -- at night, he creeps through the back streets looking for potential victims, and when he finds one, he carefully removes their skin with an elaborate collection of knives. Heidi (Traci Lords), one of Dennis' victims, is on his trail, waiting for a chance to get her revenge, but in the meantime Dennis has developed a crush on Kerry (Ricki Lake), and wants to find a way to show her he really cares. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Ted Raimi, Ricki Lake, (more)
Beverly Sutphin (Kathleen Turner) is the perfect suburban housewife and mother. She likes to cook, her home is immaculately clean, she's always well-groomed and cheerful, and she loves her husband Eugene (Sam Waterston) and her two children, Misty (Ricki Lake) and Chip (Matthew Lillard). There's just one problem with Beverly -- if you do anything to make someone in her family feel bad, you're dead meat on a stick. While she does a great job of hiding it, Beverly has a vicious and vengeful streak, and when she's not making obscene prank calls to the neighbors or bribing her garbagemen to save embarrassing items from her neighbors' trash, she's mowing down whoever would be so rude as to make her husband go into his office on a Saturday, break up with her daughter, or suggest that her son watches too many horror movies. Taking John Waters back to R-rated territory after the relatively sedate Hairspray and Cry Baby, Serial Mom captures a comfortable middle ground between Hollywood professionalism and Waters' subversive sense of humor, and Kathleen Turner has a field day as the sweet-on-the-outside, evil-on-the-inside Beverly. The supporting cast includes such Waters favorites as Patty Hearst, Traci Lords, Mink Stole, and Susan Lowe; Joan Rivers and Suzanne Somers appear as themselves, and all-female grunge-metal band L7 plays the all-female grunge-metal band Camel Toe. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Kathleen Turner, Sam Waterston, (more)
In this drama about juvenile delinquents on the prowl, Johnny (Mark Dacascos) is a parking attendant who wants better things out of life, and isn't above bending the law to get them. Johnny is in cahoots with a ring of car thieves who swipe valuable automobiles and sell the parts for whatever the market will bear. Johnny also has his eyes on Laura (Natasha Gregson Wagner), a beautiful girl with a fast car, but he soon finds out the hard way that working class Latinos who date upper-crust white girls are not looked upon kindly by much of the community. Dragstrip Girl is a in-name-only remake of the 1957 Fay Spain vehicle of the same name; it was produced for the Showtime premium cable network as part of their "Rebel Highway" series (consisting of remakes of classic teen exploitation films from American-International Pictures. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Natasha Gregson Wagner, Mark Dacascos, (more)
- 1994
This science fiction adventure, set in the future, depicts an Earth so polluted that people must live underground to avoid the deadly air. It is the sequel to 1989's Circuitry Man. In this new world, people who once would have plugged into drugs for illicit fun, now turn on with computer chips. The evil Plughead, a biosynthetic man, has a revolutionary chip that allows humans to live a decade beyond normal life expectancy but to manufacture it they must torture innocent people until they die. Plughead has no problem with that; in fact, he rather enjoys it. Plughead's nemesis, Danner is also a biosynthetic man, but he is a good guy. FBI agent Kyle is using Danner to help her find Plughead. Together they travel to a barren desert in search of their foe. ~ Sandra Brennan, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Vernon Wells, Deborah Shelton, (more)
