Mark Povinelli Movies
Scary Movie screenwriters Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer join forces to parody the "biggest" movies ever to hit the silver screen in this comedy that gives such popular box-office hits as Pirates of the Caribbean and Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe the same treatment that Scary Movie gave to the slasher subgenre. A virtual smorgasbord of spoof, Epic Movie tells the tale of four fully grown orphans: one the victim of snakes that attacked her plane, another raised by a kindly Louvre curator, the third a Mexican "libre" wrestling refuge, and the last an average mutant from an "X"-community. When the curious quartet visits a sprawling chocolate factory, they stumble across a magical wardrobe which transports them to the enchanted land of Gnarnia. It seems that the wondrous fantasy land has recently fallen under the spell of the evil White Bitch (Jennifer Coolidge), and in order to bring peace back to Gnarnia these four bumbling mortals will have to join forces with a charismatic pirate, a painfully sincere group of aspiring wizards, and one particularly libidinous lion. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Kal Penn, Adam Campbell, (more)
Credit cards and women on skates prove to be a dangerous mixture in this comedy. Frank Hopper (Jon Bon Jovi) is a former lawyer whose career has hit the skids, and he currently lives off the largesse of his more successful sister, Leona (Nora Dunn). Frank has dozens of business ideas, but has no way to finance them, until he heads out with his friend Carl (David Faustino) one evening and fills out a questionnaire in which he jokingly states his income is a million dollars a year. Suddenly Frank's mailbox is flooded with pre-approved credit cards, and with his new line of credit, Frank launches his dream project -- a women's hockey league. But it seems that the world is not yet ready for women playing professional ice hockey, and before long Frank is 300,000 dollars in debt, with a handful of credit agencies taking him to court to get back the money he's spent so far. Frank turns to his former girlfriend Jessica (Estella Warren), now a successful lawyer, to help him stay out of jail, but it seems their work is cut out for them when they learn Jessica's very competitive former beau Norman (Cary Elwes) is prosecuting Frank's case. National Lampoon's Pucked was directed by Arthur Hiller; it was his first directorial project since 1997's An Alan Smithee Film: Burn, Hollywood, Burn, for which Hiller opted not to take credit. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Jon Bon Jovi, Estella Warren, (more)
When a pair of ultra-competitive clerks at a discount super store discovers that a beautiful, newly-transferred cashier has a reputation for only dating employees who have won the coveted Employee of the Month award, their desperate efforts to earn the title and get the girl lead to a hilarious war of one-upmanship in this winner-takes-all comedy starring Dane Cook, Jessica Simpson, and Dax Shepard. Zack Bradley (Cook) and Vince Downey (Shepard) have been working at the cavernous Super Club for ten years and counting, but while the ambitious Vince has advanced to the position of head cashier and landed 17 consecutive "E of M" awards, laid-back Zack is content to simply sit back and enjoy the company of his fellow box boys. Longtime rivals whose conflicting attitudes as to what constitutes success has led to more than a few conflicts, Vince and Zack find their bitter battle for Super Club supremacy coming to a head when attractive new employee Amy (Simpson) transfers over from another store. When word quickly spreads that Amy only has eyes for the cream of the crop, slacker Zack attempts to clean up his act and break free from his box boy roots while uptight Vince tries to impress by maintaining his top dog position and keep cool in the face of competition. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Dane Cook, Jessica Simpson, (more)
Directed by Robert Zemeckis and based on children's author Chris Van Allsburg's modern holiday classic of the same name, The Polar Express revolves around Billy (Hayden McFarland), who longs to believe in Santa Claus but finds it quite difficult to do so, what with his family's dogged insistence that all of it, from the North Pole, to the elves, to the man himself, is all just a myth. This all changes, however, on Christmas Eve, when a mysterious train visits Billy in the middle of the night, promising to take him and a group of other lucky children to the North Pole for a visit with Santa. The train's conductor (Tom Hanks) along with the other passengers help turn Billy's crisis in faith into a journey of self-discovery. A long-time fan of Van Allsburg's book, Hanks also helped produce the film. ~ Tracie Cooper, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Tom Hanks
The greatest monster hunter of them all has his work cut out for him as he tracks down three deadly foes in this action-adventure saga. Gabriel Van Helsing (Hugh Jackman) is a man who has dedicated his life to battling evil forces who exist outside the bounds of nature; Van Helsing's work has not always made him friends, and a false accusation of murder still trails him. But when he's summoned to Transylvania at the behest of Anna Valerious (Kate Beckinsale), whose family has been fighting supernatural beings for generations, Van Helsing wastes no time answering her call. There, Van Helsing discovers that the undying vampire Count Dracula (Richard Roxburgh) has put a misshapen creature named Igor (Kevin J. O'Connor) under his spell, and, in turn, has forged an alliance with a hideous monster (Shuler Hensley) who was created by the misguided Dr. Victor Frankenstein (Samuel West). Adding to Anna's burden is her brother, Velkan (Will Kemp), a lycanthrope who becomes a bloodthirsty wolf under the light of the full moon. Van Helsing also co-stars Elena Anaya, Silvia Colloca, and Josie Maran as Dracula's vampire brides. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Hugh Jackman, Kate Beckinsale, (more)
- 2003
The reptile demon Saleel (Dominic Fumusa) is methodically killing leprechauns and stealing their gold, the better to spread bad luck throughout the world. When Paige (Rose McGowan) comes to the rescue of leprechaun Seamus Fitzpatrick (Mark Povinelli), the little man rewards the Charmed Ones with more good luck than they can ever possibly handle! Perhaps inevitably, this plot development leads to a musical performance by guest star Pat Benatar. ~ All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Brian Krause, Julian McMahon, (more)
- 2002
Master chef Wolfgang Puck appears as himself in this episode, wherein Niles (David Hyde Pierce) busily prepares for the big moment when he will propose to Daphne (Jane Leeves). Leaving nothing to chance, Niles has planned an all-out assault on Daphne's heart, complete with a stirring speech, an expensive ring, a string quartet, a trumpet player, and a choir. As a final touch, he has arranged for Daphne's intrusive mom (Millicent Martin) to be far, far away. Unfortunately, he has overlooked one minor item...Daphne herself. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
