Mike Kirton Movies
- 1994
- PG13
When your dog, bird, or water-dwelling mammal disappears, who do you call? Ace Ventura (Jim Carrey) is a low-rent private eye who specializes in recovering lost animals, so when Snowflake, the Miami Dolphins' aquatic mascot, is kidnapped, team representative Melissa Robinson (Courtney Cox) puts Ace on the case. However, Snowflake isn't the only Miami Dolphin who has gone missing; several key members of the team also disappear, including quarterback Dan Marino (who plays himself), who is spirited away while filming a TV commercial. With the Super Bowl only two weeks away, will Ace be able to find Snowflake and the missing athletes in time to salvage the big game? Ace Ventura: Pet Detective was a surprise box office smash and catapulted manic comedian Jim Carrey to stardom. The supporting cast includes Sean Young as ill-tempered Lois Einhorn, Udo Kier as the sinister Ronald Camp, and rapper Tone Loc as Ace's detective pal Emilio (Loc also wrote and performed a song for the closing credits). ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Jim Carrey, Courteney Cox Arquette, (more)
Former video director Michael Bay had his first big hit with this action comedy, which also returned producers Jerry Bruckheimer and Don Simpson to the big-budget, high-violence movies that they successfully churned out in the '80s. Mike Lowrey (Will Smith) and Marcus Burnett (Martin Lawrence) are two Miami cops who watch as 100 million dollars in heroin, from the biggest drug bust of their careers, is stolen out of the basement of police headquarters. This puts them hot on the trail of French drug lord Fouchet (Tchéky Karyo), who leaves a trail of bodies in his wake and only one witness, Julie Mott (Téa Leoni), who quickly teams up with our heroes. Comic hijinks ensue when plot complications force Mike to impersonate the married Marcus, to the point of moving in with his wife and children, while Marcus takes over Mike's bachelor pad and lifestyle. Car chases, snappy one-liners, and nonstop pacing fuel this umpteenth variation on the cop "buddy" formula. ~ Don Kaye, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Martin Lawrence, Will Smith, (more)
- 1987
- R
Malone (Burt Reynolds) has been a "wet" operative for the CIA for many years, serving his country by performing assassinations. He is tired of his job and wants to get out of "the company" (as it is called) and live a normal life. He is looking along the Pacific Northwest for a place to settle down when his much-cherished classic Mustang breaks down outside the town of Comstock. He manages to get to a small gas station and is treated like family by a Vietnam veteran, who is the station's owner, and his daughter. They are suffering from the nefarious activities of a local bigwig (Cliff Robertson) to take over all the land in the city in a hare-brained development scheme. He soon runs afoul of the town sheriff, who is basically an employee of the developer, but eventually wins his respect. Meanwhile, the CIA is none too pleased to hear of Malone's intended retirement and send a succession of hit-men after him to ensure that he divulges none of their dirty secrets. Malone destroys the first two killers at some cost to his own well-being. The next assassin turns out to be a woman who is susceptible to his charms. Meanwhile, he has a thorough-going local scoundrel to put out of business. ~ Clarke Fountain, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Burt Reynolds, Cliff Robertson, (more)
Sand, surf, sun, and sex alternate in this bikini-clad movie about student lemmings heading to the sea at Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, the moment the last test is taken (and sometimes before). This time, Nelson (David Knell) and his three friends get into various types of innocent trouble while Nelson tries to evade his overbearing stepfather. Wet T-shirt contests vie for attention with bikini and He-shirt contests and a Playboy centerfold, but other than a fairly standard venting of pent-up energy, there is not much else to remember about this Spring Break. ~ Eleanor Mannikka, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- David Knell, Steve Bassett, (more)
- 1988
- R
In this actioner, a courageous soldier-of-fortune boldly gets in the midst of the conflict between Sandinistas and Contras in war-torn Nicaragua while trying to save an imperiled American journalist. ~ Sandra Brennan, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Frank Zagarino, John Phillip Law, (more)
This low-budget entry into the sword-and-sorcery cycle of the early '80s wasn't successful during its initial release, but has steadily built a strong cult following over the years. The Beastmaster tells the story of Dar (Marc Singer), the son of a king who was stolen from his mother's womb by a witch under the command of vicious sorcerer Maax (Rip Torn). A poor villager saves Dar from being sacrificed and raises him as his own son, teaching Dar how to fight and witnessing the boy's ability to telepathically communicate with animals. Their happiness is destroyed when their village is attacked by the evil Jun horde, a race of beast-like warriors controlled by Maax. Dar vows revenge and journeys to his father's former kingdom to destroy Maax. Along the way, he falls in love with gorgeous slave girl Kiri (Tanya Roberts) and teams up with former royal guard Seth (John Amos). Dar also uses his powers to enlist the aid of an eagle, a panther and two adorable ferrets named Kodo and Podo. Together, Dar and his unlikely but brave team square off with Maax in an impressive two-part finale that involves a swordfight on the side of a pyramid and a showdown with the Jun horde near a flaming moat. The resulting film was full of action and eccentric surprises, but failed to make an impression at a box office already glutted with fantasy films. However, The Beastmaster eventually became a serious cult favorite thanks to home video and extensive exposure on cable (it is the second most aired movie on TBS after Gone With the Wind). This enduring popularity led to two sequels and a syndicated television series chronicling the further adventures of Dar. ~ Donald Guarisco, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Marc Singer, Tanya Roberts, (more)
Scott Glenn, Randall Batinkoff, and Constance Marie star in this crime thriller. A cop makes his way to Miami in the wake of the attempted murder of a judge when he learns that the killing was set up by a key player in the violent world of drug smuggling -- and several DEA agents are his next targets. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Scott Glenn, Randall Batinkoff, (more)
Abby (Lori Loughlin) and her brother, Loren (Shannon Presby), seem to have it all: good looks, lots of friends, and a great relationship with their loving mom and their heroic, discipline-minded military dad. When their folks are killed in a car crash, however, the siblings must move to small-town Florida to live with their sweet but cash-impaired Uncle Charlie (Ed Jones) and Aunt Fay (Lucy Martin), who own a gas station and a struggling, bargain-bin amusement park. For Abby and Loren, life in the Sunshine State proves to be a mixture of hard work, new faces, and harassment at the hands of drug-dealing, skirt-chasing local scion Dutra (James Spader) and his gang of trailer-park psychopaths. Dutra places a bet with the wiry, reptilian Gideon (John Philbin) about which of the young villains will be able to bed Abby first, leading to a series of increasingly vile sexual come-ons. Abby, however, has other romantic ideas involving a kindly boy named Mark (Eric Stoltz). Between bouts of defending his sister's honor, Loren finds a similarly wholesome romance with pretty, blond Karen (Paige Lyn Price). With the help of these new friends, Loren and Abby make some headway in the local social hierarchy, but their skirmishes with Dutra and his minions escalate, climaxing with attempted rape, kidnapping, and bumper-car violence on the night of a high-school dance. Director Sean S. Cunningham also directed the original Friday the 13th. ~ Brian J. Dillard, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Shannon Presby, Lori Loughlin, (more)
Driver and muscle for hire Frank Martin returns in this sequel to the 2002 box-office hit. Frank Martin (Jason Statham) is a former special-forces officer who will transport anything anywhere for a price, and his latest assignment is acting as chauffeur for Jack Billings (Hunter Clary), the young son of politician Jefferson Billings (Matthew Modine), who has garnered no small amount of controversy for his aggressive efforts to stamp out the trade in illegal drugs. One day, Frank is to take Jack to the doctor for a checkup while his mother, Audrey (Amber Valletta), sets up a birthday party for the tyke. However, Jack's doctor is not who he appears to be -- he's actually Dimitri (Jason Flemyng), a Russian agent well versed in viruses who works with criminal kingpin Gianni (Alessandro Gassman). After a long and hard-fought chase with Frank, the bad guys get ahold of little Jack and hold him for ransom. The parents comply with their monetary demands and soon have their son back at home -- but little do they know that the boy has secretly been injected with a deadly and easily spread virus, which the terrorists hope to spread to the boy's powerful father and other politicians whom Jefferson will soon be addressing at a public event. When Frank learns what has happened to young Jack, he sets out to find the culprits -- and the antidote that will save the boy and all others who have been exposed to the virus from dying a painful death -- though his foes have stacked the deck so that it looks as if Frank has been complicit in the crime. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Jason Statham, Alessandro Gassman, (more)
