John Kassir Movies
A high profile Hollywood film producer becomes transfixed with a beautiful soap opera character who inexplicably emerges from his television set and beckons him to take one final shot at living life on his own terms. Black Racklin has all the respect, money, and success that one could hope for in life, yet despite all of this he remains emotionally suffocated by the pressures of his job. Each night when he closes his eyes, Black is haunted by dreams of a passing train, and a mysterious traveler who urges him to hop aboard - and each night Black fails to take that decisive leap. The only time that Black is able to find peace is when he's sitting at home and mindlessly channel-surfing, until one night when he comes across a bizarre soap opera. Bewitched by a beautiful character named Katherine, Black is dumbfounded when she magically appears in his living room and the two fall instantly in love. Now faced with the decision to finally leap on that passing train or snap himself back to reality, Black must finally make the decision that will define the rest of his life. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide
- 2005
The daily, half-hour animated series Danger Rangers lived up to its title by teaching the kids at home how to avoid accidents in a light, entertaining fashion. The cast consisted of five lovable animals, members all of "Club Danger Rangers", dedicated to the proposition of showing themselves and others how to think and play safely, and how to deal with such everyday perils as fire, water, and heavy traffic. Gabriela or "Gabby" the bird was C.D.R.'s CEO, a strict but affectionate taskmaster and a fount of useful information; Kitty the cat was the brains of the operation, forever researching and testing new safety methods; Sully the Sea Lion was the self-styled "action hero" of the bunch; Burble the bear was the resident practical joker, albeit eminently well-informed in the realm of avoiding recreational hazards; Burt the turtle, youngest of the group, was also its "creative genius"; and Squeky the mouse was the most pugnacious and rebellious of the Rangers, whose occasional lapses into foolishness served as example to the young viewers. The only non-animal member of CDR was also non-human in the bargain: Fallbot, a silly, clumsy, overeager but well-intentioned robot. Though the "safety-first" material was potentially frightening to youngster, it was presented in a strictly comic and nonthreatening manner; and like many another prosocial series of this ilk, Danger Rangers was festooned with such concepts and catchphrases as "Play It Safe", "Danger Proof Plan" and "Danger Ranger Ready." In the United States, Danger Rangers debuted August 6, 2005, as a PBS daytimer. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
- 2005
This Hallmark Channel TV movie is one of a series starring John Larroquette as McBride (no first name), a hard-nosed cop turned compassionate defense lawyer, specializing in "lost causes." On this occasion, McBride's client is one-half of a popular FM radio "shock jock" team, accused of murdering his partner. The cops think they have the suspect dead to rights: Not only did he have motive and opportunity, but a recording exists of the victim's last moments on earth, which were broadcast for all to hear, and which seem to confirm the suspect's guilt. Of course, this being a made-for-cable movie, such airtight evidence can't be trusted--especially when McBride finds out that everyone at the radio station hated the dead man's guts. As in all previous McBride films, the climactic "You done it" scene is staged in flashback form, with McBride himself appearing as a sidelines spectator to the foul play. McBride: Tune In For Murder was first broadcast on August 14, 2005. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
- 2005
Working in concert with a death-obsessed alchemist (John Kassir), Zankou (Oded Fehr) begins savagely attacking innocents in order to render the Charmed Ones vulnerable. Zankou's latest victim is Phoebe's fellow grad student Tim (Colin Egglesfield), who drops dead at her feet. Convinced that Tim's demise is entirely her fault (she has in fact been "accused" by the dead man's spirit), Phoebe (Alyssa Milano) asks Daryl (Dorian Gregory) to investigate the phenomenon -- while Zankou mounts his next and even more horrible offense. Meanwhile, Paige (Rose McGowan) senses that her new student Joanna (Laura Regan) has the "wrongest" boyfriend of all time, and Piper (Holly Marie Combs) and Leo (Brian Krause) forget their past differences to plan a birthday party for baby Chris. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Brian Krause, Dorian Gregory, (more)
The made-for-cable musical satire Reefer Madness is based on the award-winning play of the same name, which in turn was inspired by the notorious -- and deliciously awful -- 1936 anti-marijuana film originally titled Tell Your Children. A smarmy lecturer (Alan Cumming in the first of his three roles in the film) arrives in a typical small town of the late '30s to warn the populace of the dangers of the "evil weed," bringing along a lurid propaganda film to dramatize his message. In broad, unsubtle, and hilarious strokes, the movie-within-a-movie shows how even a squeaky-clean pair of highschoolers named Mary Lane (Kristen Bell) and Jimmy Harper (Christian Campbell) can become hopeless dope addicts by succumbing to the lure of marijuana. Reefer Madness is not only a savage skewering of the original black-and-white movie (some of the musical's campiest lines are taken directly from the earlier script!), but also a devastating attack on what playwrights Kevin Murphy and Dan Studney consider to be the real reason that the 1936 movie was made: to frighten the public out of their wits in order to keep them under the thumb of an oppressive government. Thus, the musical manages to take a number of not-so-veiled swipes at xenophobia, racism, McCarthyism, the Bush Administration's Homeland Security policy, and even the recent FCC clampdown on "offensive" TV fare (one of the film's highlights is a garish nightclub number featuring Jesus Christ). The ebulliently staged songs include "The Stuff," "Down at the Ol' Five and Dime," "Lonely Pew," "Listen to Jesus Jimmy," "Mary Jane/Mary Lane," "The Brownie Song," "Tell 'Em the Truth," and the title number. Officially titled Reefer Madness: The Movie Musical, this film first aired April 16, 2005, on the Showtime cable service. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Kristen Bell, Christian Campbell, (more)
- 2003
The second movie-length spin-off of the Nickelodeon cartoon series As Told by Ginger, Far From Home went into production under the title Foutley's on Ice. Both titles refer to the main plot line, in which youthful Ginger Foutley is accepted to the prestigious Avalanche Arts Academy, somewhere in the frigid mountains. Alas, complications ensue wherein Ginger may be permanently separated from her friends and family back in Sheltered Shrubs. A subplot concerns the relationship between Ginger's brother Carl and an attractive telekinetic girl (whose voice, like that of "regular" character Noelle Sussman, is provided by series creator Emily Kapnek). As Told by Ginger: Far From Home originally aired over Nickelodeon on August 9, 2003. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Melissa Disney, Aspen Miller, (more)
- 2001
Christmas is approaching. Stewie (voice of Seth MacFarlane) isn't particularly looking forward to playing the baby Jesus in Quahog's annual passion play. Peter (MacFarlane) only seems interested in watching the annual airing of "Kiss Saves Santa." Lois (voice of Alex Borstein) drags him to visit Joe (voice of Patrick Warburton) and Bonnie (voice of Jennifer Tilly), where they find Joe in an unpleasant mood. Stewie learns of Santa and his "constant surveillance of every child on Earth." Peter accidentally gives all of the family's presents to charity. Lois takes the news surprisingly well, and the Griffins head to the mall to buy new presents, leaving Brian (MacFarlane) behind to look after their Christmas Eve turkey. At the mall, the family fights with other last-minute shoppers, and Stewie is shocked to have a chance to sit on the lap of his new nemesis. "Santa, you make it too easy," he taunts. But when he learns that Santa will give him whatever he wants (in Stewie's case, plutonium) in exchange for being "good," he changes his tune. Meanwhile, back at the house, Brian runs into some trouble, thanks in no small part to Peter's purchase of a novelty fire extinguisher. Her Christmas dinner ruined, Lois' calm veneer cracks and she goes on a rampage through town. This episode features the voices of Ace Frehley, Gene Simmons, and Peter Criss of Kiss. ~ Josh Ralske, All Movie Guide
- 2000
The comedy team that made the phrase "nyuk nyuk nyuk" part of the American vocabulary gets the full biographical treatment in this made-for-TV feature. The Three Stooges opens in 1959, as a TV executive tries to persuade Moe Howard (Paul Ben-Victor) to reunite with his former onscreen partners to publicize the television premiere of a package of Three Stooges classic comedy shorts. Howard then flashes back on his long and remarkable career, as vaudeville star Ted Healy (Marton Csokas) assembles Moe Howard, sibling Shemp Howard (John Kassir), and Larry Fine (Evan Handler) as "stooges" for his stage act. As Moe, Shemp, and Larry gain popularity, a jealous Healy forces them to strike out on their own, but after many grueling years on the road, Columbia Pictures head Harry Cohn (Linal Haft) offers them a chance to star in their own series of two-reel comedies. But Shemp, always stage-shy, backs out of the group, and his brother Jerome (Michael Chiklis) -- aka "Curly" -- takes over, and the Three Stooges become a sensation. However, success proves to be a bumpy road for the group, as a bad deal with Columbia prevents them from reaping the full benefits of their success, and a serious illness forces Curly to quit, bringing Shemp back into the act. Mel Gibson was an executive producer for this biopic, which first aired on ABC on April 24, 2000. Incidentally, this wasn't Michael Chiklis' first time playing an icon of American comedy; he portrayed John Belushi in the 1989 drama Wired. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Paul Ben-Victor, Rachael Blake, (more)
- 2000
A trader named Gar (played by former Tales From the Crypt host John Kassir) steals the Doctor's data and downloads the holographic physician onto a hospital ship bound for the planet Velos. En route, the Doctor (Robert Picardo) butts heads with bureaucratic administrator Chellick (Larry Drake), who makes all decisions as to who does and does not receive medical treatment, based upon the "social importance" of the patient in question. Clearly, the pompous Chellick must be taught a lesson, and the Doctor is just the man -- or hologram -- for the job. "Critical Care" first aired on November 1, 2000. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Roxann Dawson
- 2000
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Twins Sammy and Tammy Fitzgivens are forced to play with their bratty neighbor, Simon Thaddeus Mulberry Pew (John Kassir), but all they really like about him are his toys. The siblings devise a clever way to steal them but unfortunately, the plan backfires and Simon ends up dead. Adding to the already surreal atmosphere is The Wizzit (Armin Shimerman), who shows up just in time to help the kids stash the body. ~ Cammila Albertson, All Movie Guide
- 1999
C. Thomas Howell appears as an evil crime boss in this slacker crime drama about two guys waiting by the phone discussing hockey, dogs, and slurs against Italian-Americans. The Glass Jar was screened at the 1999 Boston Film Festival. ~ Jonathan Crow, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Anthony Crivello, John Kassir, (more)
- 1999
Offered a lead role in "Shutter Speed," a movie filming in Las Vegas, Joey (Matt LeBlanc) heads west with Chandler (Matthew Perry) -- all the while figuring out ways not to jinx himself this time. By the time the journey is over, Joey is alone and working as a gladiator at Caesar's Palace. Back in New York, Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) nervously goes to the eye doctor to deal with an infection, only to ignore the doctor's advice. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
- 1998
The four Sliders are separated and cast to the four corners of an Alternate Earth, with only an hour at their disposal to find each other or else be stuck on this world forever. Making matters more difficult is that the travelers have all been placed in ludicrously inescapable predicaments: Colin (Charlie O'Connell), for example, is forced to be the bridgroom in a cash-driven marriage of convenience. In a desperate effort to communicate with the others, Quinn (Jerry O'Connell) wangle a guest appearance on the planet's only TV show, a tabloid talker called "Lipschitz Live!" (Inside joke: the show's host Barry Lipschitz is played by Charlie Brill, better known for his portrayal of Larry Lipschitz on the popular crime series Silk Stalkings). ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
- 1998
In this TV drama-comedy, Julie Barber (Allison Smith) hires detective wannabe Bob Jones (Frank Whaley) to track down the legendary private eye Buddy Faro (Dennis Farina), who was once such a name that he was portrayed by an actor (George Hamilton) in a TV series. Now nearly forgotten, Faro has inherited a small fortune, but no one knows where he went. Traveling to the dusty streets of a little town in Mexico, Jones manages to find the booze-soaked Faro lying in the gutter. Rescued by Jones and Julie, Faro returns to Hollywood, where he made his mark 20 years earlier. Things have changed, but the stylish Faro is soon back in business in a big way, confronting criminals in his ultra-cool style, while the Joel McNeely soundtrack provides a jazzy accompaniment. Premiered September 25, 1998 on CBS. ~ Bhob Stewart, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Dennis Farina, Frank Whale, (more)
Pro wrestling star Hulk Hogan stars in this action-packed drama as a professional soldier who discovers too late that the commandos who've hired him are actually double agents working with the IRA. Outraged at the deception, the mercenary sets out to win revenge against the soldiers who double-crossed him. The Ultimate Weapon also stars Tedd Dillon and Cyndy Preston. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide
- 1996
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Previously filmed in Hollywood and Canada, Tales From the Crypt moved its facilities to the United Kingdom for its seventh and final season, allowing a rich new array of colorful backgrounds for the creepy yarns related to the audience by the cadaverous Cryptkeeper. British actress Natasha Richardson stars in the season opener "Fatal Caper," a prodigal son tale with a sinister twist. Other season highlights include "A Slight Case of Murder," with mystery writer Francesca Annis unwittingly plotting the "perfect murder" -- her own; "Cold War," featuring a young Ewan McGregor in the story of a very persistent vampire; and "About Face," starring Anthony Andrews as a philandering preacher who is perplexingly plagued by his past peccadillos. The series' final episode is also its first animated offering, "The Third Pig," a perverse twist on the Big Bad Wolf fable, written and directed by Bill Kopp of Eek the Cat fame. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- John Kassir
In this sci-fi thriller, the cyborg duplicates of a government agent and his wife, a news journalist, revolt and frame their living owners for murder. ~ Sandra Brennan, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Don "The Dragon" Wilson, Stacie Foster, (more)
- 1994
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Our old fiend -- er, friend -- The Cryptkeeper is back with 13 more weeks of grisly playlets and howlingly bad jokes and puns as Tales From the Crypt launches its sixth season. Those who orginally watched the series on HBO could not help but notice that the average episode length had been trimmed somewhat: this was done to accommodate the Fox network, who was obliged to include commercials when rerunning Tales from the Crypt as part of their Saturday night schedule. As in previous years, the season opens with a 90-minute special, comprised of three half-hour stories: "Let the Punishment Fit the Crime," with Catherine O'Hara as a greedy attorney who learns the hard way that the law is a stern mistress; "Only Skin Deep," in which a young man makes a fatal choice at a costume party; and "Whirlpool," featuring Rita Rudner as a comic book artist who is trapped in a grisly, never-ending scenario of her own making. Highlights this season include "The Pit," featuring Wayne Newton in a revenge yarn fittingly set in Las Vegas; "In the Groove," wherein a cuckolded disc jockey played by Miguel Ferrer sets up what he thinks is the perfect murder; "Doctor of Horror," starring Hank Azaria in the story of a grim research experiment; and the last episode of the season, "You, Murderer," a Poelike mood piece in which the truth behind a murder is told from the corpse's p.o.v. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- John Kassir
