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John Kassir Movies

2013  
PG13  
Add Jack the Giant Slayer to Queue 
The beloved fairy tale Jack and the Beanstalk gets the big-screen treatment courtesy of director Bryan Singer (Valkyrie) and screenwriters Darren Lemke (Shrek Forever After), Christopher McQuarrie (The Usual Suspects), and Dan Studney in this fantasy adventure about a naïve farm boy who attempts to rescue a beautiful princess from a race of vengeful giants. When Jack (Nicholas Hoult) inadvertently opens a passageway that allows giants to cross into our reality, the towering titans stake their claim on the world of humans. Should they succeed, Jack's kingdom will be but the first of many to fall. Now, in order to save his people and rescue a noble princess, Jack must summon every ounce of bravery to drive out the invading giants. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

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Starring:
Nicholas HoultStanley Tucci, (more)
 
2011  
PG  
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Scooby-Doo director Raja Gosnell takes the helm for this 3D live action/CGI comedy based on the popular characters created by Belgian cartoonist Peyo (aka Pierre Culliford). In their race to escape the malevolent wizard Gargamel, the little blue forest dwellers find themselves suddenly transported to Central Park. Now stuck in a world populated by towering giants, the Smurfs must find a way to elude Gargamel, and find a way back to the village they call home. Paul Reubens provides the voice of "Jokey" Smurf in a film also featuring Hank Azaria, George Lopez, Fred Armisen, Anton Yelchin, Sofía Vergara, Neil Patrick Harris, Jonathan Winters, and Katy Perry. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

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Starring:
Hank AzariaNeil Patrick Harris, (more)
 
2009  
PG  
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Walt Disney Pictures resurrects one of their time-honored franchises with Race to Witch Mountain, a family-oriented sci-fi adventure that tells the story of two alien visitors (AnnaSophia Robb and Alexander Ludwig) whose search for their spacecraft gets them caught up in an adventure with a cab driver (Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson) and a UFO specialist (Carla Gugino). As the group races toward the mysterious mountain in the Nevada desert that has mystified scientists and paranormal researchers for years, the government, gangsters, and an extraterrestrial bounty hunter attempt to prevent them from reaching their intended destination. Should the two planetary travelers fail in recovering their ship, an alien invasion will be launched against the entire planet. The original 1975 picture Escape to Witch Mountain was followed by the sequel Return From Witch Mountain, as well as a 1995 made-for-TV remake. ~ Jeremy Wheeler, Rovi

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Starring:
Dwayne JohnsonAnnaSophia Robb, (more)
 
2008  
 
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A high profile Hollywood film producer becomes transfixed with a beautiful soap opera character who inexplicably emerges from his television set and beckons him to take one final shot at living life on his own terms. Black Racklin has all the respect, money, and success that one could hope for in life, yet despite all of this he remains emotionally suffocated by the pressures of his job. Each night when he closes his eyes, Black is haunted by dreams of a passing train, and a mysterious traveler who urges him to hop aboard - and each night Black fails to take that decisive leap. The only time that Black is able to find peace is when he's sitting at home and mindlessly channel-surfing, until one night when he comes across a bizarre soap opera. Bewitched by a beautiful character named Katherine, Black is dumbfounded when she magically appears in his living room and the two fall instantly in love. Now faced with the decision to finally leap on that passing train or snap himself back to reality, Black must finally make the decision that will define the rest of his life. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

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Starring:
Ed AsnerKim Oja, (more)
 
2006  
G  
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A handful of zoo animals leave behind their well-protected environment for the streets of the big city in this computer-animated comedy. Sampson (voice of Kiefer Sutherland) is the king of a make-believe jungle far from the African plains -- he's a lion on display at a zoo in New York City's Central Park, and he lords it over the other animals, including Nigel (voice of Eddie Izzard), a testy koala bear; Larry, a dumb but well-meaning snake; ; Bridget (voice of Janeane Garofalo), a bright but cynical giraffe; and Benny (voice of Jim Belushi), a very New York-ish squirrel who is good friends with Sampson and is trying to romance Bridget without much success. The pride and joy of Sampson's life is his son, Ryan (voice of Greg Cipes), and he's devastated when one day Ryan is crated up and shipped back to Africa. Sampson is desperate to find his boy, and with the help of his pals he escapes the zoo and sets out on a daring mission to rescue Ryan, battling the unfamiliar terrain and Kazar, a wildebeest with a will to power and a passion for choreography (voice of William Shatner) along the way. The Wild was the first directorial credit for animator and special-effects artist Steve "Spaz" Williams. ~ Mark Deming, Rovi

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Starring:
Kiefer SutherlandJim Belushi, (more)
 
2005  
 
The daily, half-hour animated series Danger Rangers lived up to its title by teaching the kids at home how to avoid accidents in a light, entertaining fashion. The cast consisted of five lovable animals, members all of "Club Danger Rangers", dedicated to the proposition of showing themselves and others how to think and play safely, and how to deal with such everyday perils as fire, water, and heavy traffic. Gabriela or "Gabby" the bird was C.D.R.'s CEO, a strict but affectionate taskmaster and a fount of useful information; Kitty the cat was the brains of the operation, forever researching and testing new safety methods; Sully the Sea Lion was the self-styled "action hero" of the bunch; Burble the bear was the resident practical joker, albeit eminently well-informed in the realm of avoiding recreational hazards; Burt the turtle, youngest of the group, was also its "creative genius"; and Squeky the mouse was the most pugnacious and rebellious of the Rangers, whose occasional lapses into foolishness served as example to the young viewers. The only non-animal member of CDR was also non-human in the bargain: Fallbot, a silly, clumsy, overeager but well-intentioned robot. Though the "safety-first" material was potentially frightening to youngster, it was presented in a strictly comic and nonthreatening manner; and like many another prosocial series of this ilk, Danger Rangers was festooned with such concepts and catchphrases as "Play It Safe", "Danger Proof Plan" and "Danger Ranger Ready." In the United States, Danger Rangers debuted August 6, 2005, as a PBS daytimer. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi

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2005  
 
This Hallmark Channel TV movie is one of a series starring John Larroquette as McBride (no first name), a hard-nosed cop turned compassionate defense lawyer, specializing in "lost causes." On this occasion, McBride's client is one-half of a popular FM radio "shock jock" team, accused of murdering his partner. The cops think they have the suspect dead to rights: Not only did he have motive and opportunity, but a recording exists of the victim's last moments on earth, which were broadcast for all to hear, and which seem to confirm the suspect's guilt. Of course, this being a made-for-cable movie, such airtight evidence can't be trusted--especially when McBride finds out that everyone at the radio station hated the dead man's guts. As in all previous McBride films, the climactic "You done it" scene is staged in flashback form, with McBride himself appearing as a sidelines spectator to the foul play. McBride: Tune In For Murder was first broadcast on August 14, 2005. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi

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2005  
 
Working in concert with a death-obsessed alchemist (John Kassir), Zankou (Oded Fehr) begins savagely attacking innocents in order to render the Charmed Ones vulnerable. Zankou's latest victim is Phoebe's fellow grad student Tim (Colin Egglesfield), who drops dead at her feet. Convinced that Tim's demise is entirely her fault (she has in fact been "accused" by the dead man's spirit), Phoebe (Alyssa Milano) asks Daryl (Dorian Gregory) to investigate the phenomenon -- while Zankou mounts his next and even more horrible offense. Meanwhile, Paige (Rose McGowan) senses that her new student Joanna (Laura Regan) has the "wrongest" boyfriend of all time, and Piper (Holly Marie Combs) and Leo (Brian Krause) forget their past differences to plan a birthday party for baby Chris. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi

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Starring:
Brian KrauseDorian Gregory, (more)
 
2004  
R  
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The made-for-cable musical satire Reefer Madness is based on the award-winning play of the same name, which in turn was inspired by the notorious -- and deliciously awful -- 1936 anti-marijuana film originally titled Tell Your Children. A smarmy lecturer (Alan Cumming in the first of his three roles in the film) arrives in a typical small town of the late '30s to warn the populace of the dangers of the "evil weed," bringing along a lurid propaganda film to dramatize his message. In broad, unsubtle, and hilarious strokes, the movie-within-a-movie shows how even a squeaky-clean pair of highschoolers named Mary Lane (Kristen Bell) and Jimmy Harper (Christian Campbell) can become hopeless dope addicts by succumbing to the lure of marijuana. Reefer Madness is not only a savage skewering of the original black-and-white movie (some of the musical's campiest lines are taken directly from the earlier script!), but also a devastating attack on what playwrights Kevin Murphy and Dan Studney consider to be the real reason that the 1936 movie was made: to frighten the public out of their wits in order to keep them under the thumb of an oppressive government. Thus, the musical manages to take a number of not-so-veiled swipes at xenophobia, racism, McCarthyism, the Bush Administration's Homeland Security policy, and even the recent FCC clampdown on "offensive" TV fare (one of the film's highlights is a garish nightclub number featuring Jesus Christ). The ebulliently staged songs include "The Stuff," "Down at the Ol' Five and Dime," "Lonely Pew," "Listen to Jesus Jimmy," "Mary Jane/Mary Lane," "The Brownie Song," "Tell 'Em the Truth," and the title number. Officially titled Reefer Madness: The Movie Musical, this film first aired April 16, 2005, on the Showtime cable service. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi

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Starring:
Kristen BellChristian Campbell, (more)
 
2003  
 
The second movie-length spin-off of the Nickelodeon cartoon series As Told by Ginger, Far From Home went into production under the title Foutley's on Ice. Both titles refer to the main plot line, in which youthful Ginger Foutley is accepted to the prestigious Avalanche Arts Academy, somewhere in the frigid mountains. Alas, complications ensue wherein Ginger may be permanently separated from her friends and family back in Sheltered Shrubs. A subplot concerns the relationship between Ginger's brother Carl and an attractive telekinetic girl (whose voice, like that of "regular" character Noelle Sussman, is provided by series creator Emily Kapnek). As Told by Ginger: Far From Home originally aired over Nickelodeon on August 9, 2003. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi

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Starring:
Melissa DisneyAspen Miller, (more)
 
2003  
PG  
Add George of the Jungle 2 to Queue Add George of the Jungle 2 to top of Queue  
Longtime television director David Grossman makes his feature debut with this direct-to-video sequel to the 1997 hit family comedy George of the Jungle. Filling the loincloth originally worn by Brendan Fraser, Chris Showerman plays George this time around. Since the events of the first film, George and Ursula (Julie Benz stepping in for Leslie Mann) have had a son and made a home for themselves in George's jungle kingdom. But George is suddenly called away by his brother Ape who has run up a substantial gambling debt in Las Vegas. Once back in America to help Ape, Ursula encounters Lyle Van de Groot (Thomas Haden Church, reprising his role from the first film) who is in cahoots with Ursula's disapproving mother. When Van de Groot puts her under a hypnotic spell, Ursula no longer recognizes George, just as her mother wants. If that weren't bad enough, while George is busy trying to help Ape and rescue Ursula, a lion is attempting to stage a coup back in the jungle. ~ Matthew Tobey, Rovi

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Starring:
Christopher ShowermanJulie Benz, (more)
 
2001  
 
Christmas is approaching. Stewie (voice of Seth MacFarlane) isn't particularly looking forward to playing the baby Jesus in Quahog's annual passion play. Peter (MacFarlane) only seems interested in watching the annual airing of "Kiss Saves Santa." Lois (voice of Alex Borstein) drags him to visit Joe (voice of Patrick Warburton) and Bonnie (voice of Jennifer Tilly), where they find Joe in an unpleasant mood. Stewie learns of Santa and his "constant surveillance of every child on Earth." Peter accidentally gives all of the family's presents to charity. Lois takes the news surprisingly well, and the Griffins head to the mall to buy new presents, leaving Brian (MacFarlane) behind to look after their Christmas Eve turkey. At the mall, the family fights with other last-minute shoppers, and Stewie is shocked to have a chance to sit on the lap of his new nemesis. "Santa, you make it too easy," he taunts. But when he learns that Santa will give him whatever he wants (in Stewie's case, plutonium) in exchange for being "good," he changes his tune. Meanwhile, back at the house, Brian runs into some trouble, thanks in no small part to Peter's purchase of a novelty fire extinguisher. Her Christmas dinner ruined, Lois' calm veneer cracks and she goes on a rampage through town. This episode features the voices of Ace Frehley, Gene Simmons, and Peter Criss of Kiss. ~ Josh Ralske, Rovi

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2000  
 
The comedy team that made the phrase "nyuk nyuk nyuk" part of the American vocabulary gets the full biographical treatment in this made-for-TV feature. The Three Stooges opens in 1959, as a TV executive tries to persuade Moe Howard (Paul Ben-Victor) to reunite with his former onscreen partners to publicize the television premiere of a package of Three Stooges classic comedy shorts. Howard then flashes back on his long and remarkable career, as vaudeville star Ted Healy (Marton Csokas) assembles Moe Howard, sibling Shemp Howard (John Kassir), and Larry Fine (Evan Handler) as "stooges" for his stage act. As Moe, Shemp, and Larry gain popularity, a jealous Healy forces them to strike out on their own, but after many grueling years on the road, Columbia Pictures head Harry Cohn (Linal Haft) offers them a chance to star in their own series of two-reel comedies. But Shemp, always stage-shy, backs out of the group, and his brother Jerome (Michael Chiklis) -- aka "Curly" -- takes over, and the Three Stooges become a sensation. However, success proves to be a bumpy road for the group, as a bad deal with Columbia prevents them from reaping the full benefits of their success, and a serious illness forces Curly to quit, bringing Shemp back into the act. Mel Gibson was an executive producer for this biopic, which first aired on ABC on April 24, 2000. Incidentally, this wasn't Michael Chiklis' first time playing an icon of American comedy; he portrayed John Belushi in the 1989 drama Wired. ~ Mark Deming, Rovi

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Starring:
Paul Ben-VictorRachael Blake, (more)
 
2000  
 
A trader named Gar (played by former Tales From the Crypt host John Kassir) steals the Doctor's data and downloads the holographic physician onto a hospital ship bound for the planet Velos. En route, the Doctor (Robert Picardo) butts heads with bureaucratic administrator Chellick (Larry Drake), who makes all decisions as to who does and does not receive medical treatment, based upon the "social importance" of the patient in question. Clearly, the pompous Chellick must be taught a lesson, and the Doctor is just the man -- or hologram -- for the job. "Critical Care" first aired on November 1, 2000. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi

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Starring:
Roxann Dawson
 
2000  
 
Add Who Slew Simon Thaddeus Mulberry Pew? to Queue Add Who Slew Simon Thaddeus Mulberry Pew? to top of Queue  
Twins Sammy and Tammy Fitzgivens are forced to play with their bratty neighbor, Simon Thaddeus Mulberry Pew (John Kassir), but all they really like about him are his toys. The siblings devise a clever way to steal them but unfortunately, the plan backfires and Simon ends up dead. Adding to the already surreal atmosphere is The Wizzit (Armin Shimerman), who shows up just in time to help the kids stash the body. ~ Cammila Collar, Rovi

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1999  
 
C. Thomas Howell appears as an evil crime boss in this slacker crime drama about two guys waiting by the phone discussing hockey, dogs, and slurs against Italian-Americans. The Glass Jar was screened at the 1999 Boston Film Festival. ~ Jonathan Crow, Rovi

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Starring:
Anthony CrivelloJohn Kassir, (more)
 
1999  
 
Offered a lead role in "Shutter Speed," a movie filming in Las Vegas, Joey (Matt LeBlanc) heads west with Chandler (Matthew Perry) -- all the while figuring out ways not to jinx himself this time. By the time the journey is over, Joey is alone and working as a gladiator at Caesar's Palace. Back in New York, Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) nervously goes to the eye doctor to deal with an infection, only to ignore the doctor's advice. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi

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1998  
 
The four Sliders are separated and cast to the four corners of an Alternate Earth, with only an hour at their disposal to find each other or else be stuck on this world forever. Making matters more difficult is that the travelers have all been placed in ludicrously inescapable predicaments: Colin (Charlie O'Connell), for example, is forced to be the bridgroom in a cash-driven marriage of convenience. In a desperate effort to communicate with the others, Quinn (Jerry O'Connell) wangle a guest appearance on the planet's only TV show, a tabloid talker called "Lipschitz Live!" (Inside joke: the show's host Barry Lipschitz is played by Charlie Brill, better known for his portrayal of Larry Lipschitz on the popular crime series Silk Stalkings). ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi

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