John Heard Movies

The ABC sitcom Cavemen was inspired by a popular TV advertising campaign for GEICO Auto Insurance. These were the ads which a smarmy commercial spokesman who claimed that a GEICO policy was so simple that "Even a caveman could understand it" was taken to task by a pair of real cavemen, who despite their goonish Neanderthal appearance--matted hair, buck teeth, bushy eyebrows et.al.--were urbane, sardonically witty and very easily offended! In the weekly-series version of this concept, a trio of young, hip cavemen lived and worked in contemporary San Diego, doing their best to fit in with the non-caveman world while still remaining fiercely loyal to their prehistoric "roots". Bill English played Joel Claybrook, the hardest-working of the three "primitives", who secretly broke the unofficial Code of the "Maggers" (a nickmame for Cro-Magnons) by falling in love with Kate (Kaitlin Doubleday), a blonde, blue eyed "Sape" (short for "Homo Sapiens", a cavemen term for those who'd evolved into "modern" humans). Nick Kroll was Joel's roommate Nick Hedge, a sullen slacker who militantly disapproved of mixing the species and had no intention of ever assimilating into the "Sape" world. Sam Huntington rounded out the threesome as Joel's nerdish, whiny younger brother Andy. Jeff Daniel Phillips, who'd starred in the original GEICO commercials, was seen as the protagonist's friend and fellow "Magger" Maurice. Others in the cast included Stephanie Lemelin as Kate's best friend Thorne, a "Sape" with an insatiable Caveman fetish, and Julie White as Leslie, the realtor for the boys' apartment building, who had to keep admonishing them to behave like everyone else and not be so "primal." The ABC publicity department proudly trumpetted the rather obvious fact that Cavemen was intended to be a metaphorical slam against racial prejudice (it was even more obvious in the pilot episode, which was set deep in the American south--Atlanta, to be exact) and a plea for tolerance and understanding for those among us who were a little bit different. . .or even a whole lot different! The series' unsung heroes were the talented members of the makeup crew, who convincingly transformed the three stars into hirsute cavedwellers without sacrificing the actors' personalities or hampering their natural facial movements. The much-ballyhooed network premiere of Cavemen took place on October 2, 2007. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

When a mob mule carrying five million dollars in cold hard cash suddenly goes missing, the kingpin awaiting the substantial delivery discovers that he isn't the only one searching for the missing money in this quirky crime comedy starring Armand Assante, Steven Bauer, John Heard, Nicole Eggert, and Joe Piscopo. Tony Thick is a mobster who was expecting a lucrative visit from Los Angeles-based delivery man Lenny Long. But Lenny has failed to show, and now the impatient Mafioso suspects that the courier may have met with foul play. Hoping to find out the whereabouts of his cash as quickly as possible, Tony sends his henchman Shady to L.A. to recover the tidy sum. Little does Shady realize he's about to run into a whole cast of crazies who seem to be on the same mission. From Lenny's desperate wife to his scatterbrained mistress, his bodybuilding brother, and one seriously eccentric neurosurgeon, this exhausting money run seems to get more outlandish with each passing day. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide

An ex-con who once traded his soul for his freedom is forced to carry out a kidnapping in order to summon the cleansing winds of redemption in director Adam Golomb's fact-based look at the criminal underworld in the Windy City. Nate Maycott (Dean Rabaiov) has just finished serving a four-year prison sentence, and now he's determined to start life anew with his young daughter. Had he paid off the police like most others, Nate may have been able to avoid his stint behind bars altogether, but sometimes the "tax" is too steep even for those who can afford to pay. Now that Nate is back on the outside, the police step up their plans to ensure that he never forgets the past. Instructed to keep tabs on the prostitution practices at the Chicago Uptown Hotel, Nate gradually finds himself backed into a dangerous corner. The streets of Chicago can be an unforgiving place even for the innocent, but for a man with a murder to hide and daughter to protect, they can be downright infernal. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide

A handful of New Yorkers with little in common cross one another's paths as they try to sort out their romantic and emotional troubles in this comedy drama from writer and director Eric Schaeffer. Sam Blue (Eric Schaeffer) is a single father who is raising a ten-year-old son, Rocky (Christopher Kovaleski), on his own. Rocky was conceived using an egg Sam purchased on the Internet; after being left at the altar by his fiancée, Sam isn't sure he can stand the pain of another romance, though Rocky wishes he could have a mom. Herb Schweitzer (Alan King) is an elderly man with a sour personality who has pledged to honor the memory of a deceased friend by walking from his apartment to a beach in Manhattan. However, the trip will cover many miles, and these days Herb can barely shuffle to the end of the block. Jody Buller (Jill Sobule) is an eccentric street musician who was given a pacemaker for her weak heart as a child. Jody is convinced this means a broken heart would be fatal, despite her doctor's efforts to convince her otherwise. Malissa Zubach (Elizabeth Reaser) is a young woman who dreams of traveling to other lands, but is stuck in a trailer home caring for her dying mother. Hoping to get a sense of the outside world, Malissa persuades pen pals across the globe to record audio tapes in public places so she can hear the places she wants to see. And John McCabe (Charles Parnell) is a man still struggling to come to terms with the collapse of his marriage, brought on by his own infidelity. Mind the Gap received its world premiere at the 2003 South by Southwest Film Festival, where it received the Special Jury Award for Narrative Feature. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide

A man is called by the military to defend himself against long-ago charges of criminal misconduct in this made-for-cable drama based on a novel by Nelson DeMille. Ben Tyson (Don Johnson) has done well for himself 30 years after his tour of duty in Vietnam -- he's a successful businessman and happily married to a beautiful woman, Marcy (Sharon Lawrence). But Tyson's contented life is shattered when a book is published accusing him of being responsible for a bloody ambush in a field hospital that took the lives of a number of Vietnamese civilians. Tyson is recalled to duty by the army to answer these charges in a court martial. As his professional and personal lives begin to buckle under the strain, Tyson must defend his actions, as well as his responsibilities to his comrades and himself, to prosecutor Major Karen Harper (Jeanne Tripplehorn). Don Johnson's son, Jesse Johnson, plays the young Ben Tyson in Vietnam flashback sequences. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide

Just as Jon Voight's on-target portrayal of controversial sportscaster Howard Cosell) in the 2002 biopic Ali was making the theatrical rounds, actor John Turturro offered his own spin on "Humble Howard" in the made-for-cable movie Monday Night Mayhem. Based on the book by Bill Carter and Marc Gunther, the film chronicles the creation of ABC Television's Monday Night Football telecast in 1970, then continues with the weekly telecast's rapid ascent to the top of the ratings. Reasoning that such a momentous undertaking needed a spectacular "star" lineup in the announcing booth, ABC's aggressive sports director Roone Arledge (John Heard) teams the highly opinionated, irritatingly erudite Cosell with not one but two charismatic ex-athletes, "Dandy Don" Meredith (Brad Beyer) and Frank Gifford (Kevin Anderson). The film makes much of Cosell's open disdain towards his "intellectually inferior" co-anchors and of Meredith and Gifford's reaction to their booth-mate's jibes, and also recreates many of Monday Night Football's highlights, notably Cosell's announcement in the middle of an important game that John Lennon has just been murdered. Monday Night Mayhem originally aired on January 14, 2002, not on ABC (surprise, surprise!) but as part of the TNT cable network's prime time lineup. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

This made-for-TV miniseries recounts the muddled criminal investigation of the JonBenet Ramsey murder -- one of the most luridly publicized crimes in recent memory. As the crime unfolds, the Boulder police squad grow increasingly swamped by the elusive details of the crime and the unprecedented media attention. ~ Jonathan Crow, All Movie Guide

Looming betrayals within a mob family cloud the horizon in this episode of the popular HBO crime series. Crooked police officer Vin Mazakian (John Heard) tells New Jersey crime boss Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) that his best friend and trusted lieutenant Big Pussy Bompenseiro (Vincent Pastore), who was arrested by the feds, may have turned and could be working as an informant. Although he's incredulous, Tony orders another of his men, Paulie Walnuts (Tony Sirico) to find the truth. Tony cautions Paulie not to kill their old friend until he's absolutely certain that he's a snitch, as it's possible Mazakian is framing Pussy to get out of his gambling debts. Before Tony can learn more, Mazakian is arrested in a sting operation and, his career in tatters, commits suicide as Paulie's plan to get Pussy to disrobe at a steam bath to see if he's wearing a wire fails. At the same time, Tony's uncle and rival within the family, Junior (Dominic Chianese) orders a hit on Tony, giving the bloody assignment to his top soldier Mikey (Al Sapienza), who tells his wife he's moving up in the family. After the incident at the steam bath, Pussy disappears. This episode first aired March 21, 1999. ~ Karl Williams, All Movie Guide

Lindsay Crouse guest stars as Denise Grobman, a civil court judge who is shot in her building's parking garage. The detectives haul in an extremely likely suspect, only to discover that Grobman refuses to prosecute -- nor even to believe that the suspect had anything to do with the attack. Clearly, someone is hiding something, but what and why? ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

The sensitive topic of the working mother is the subject of this made-for-television movie. Anne Archer stars as Abby, the working, single mother of a 6-year-old. Abby shares her son with her husband by alternating custodial weekends with him. At first, she enjoys the freedom it affords her to advance her career. When her re-married ex-husband Ted (John Heard) gets pangs for more custodial rights, he decides to take her to court for full-time parental custody, and he has a fighting chance because of Abby's demanding career. ~ Bernadette McCallion, All Movie Guide

The Tonya Harding-Nancy Kerrigan affair is deftly fictionalized in this episode. Just before an important tournament, tennis player Korey Burke (Stacey Moseley) is attacked by a mysterious assailant and her wrist is broken. Not surprisingly, Burke's principal competitor Alison Hall (Allison Dunbar) ranks high on the list of suspects. But this is fiction, not fact, and events play themselves out in a most surprising fashion. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

The tragic wreck of the super-tanker Exxon Valdez in Prince William Sound, Alaska on March 24, 1989 was one of the most devastating ecological disasters in recent history. Immediately after the ship ran aground and began pumping over 11 million gallons of suffocating oil from its ruptured hold, experts were sent out to assess the damage and clean up the mess. This gripping docudrama tells their story. Much centers on the conflict between local officials, the fishing industry, and the Exxon official sent out to oversee the clean-up and take the rap. With unflinching moral outrage, the filmmakers point out that much of the aftermath could have been minimized had the officials in charge been better prepared and not spent so much time involved in useless red-tape and petty bureaucratic bickering. Most of the film was shot in Vancouver, British Columbia, but it also utilizes archival filmclips of the actual disaster and clean up efforts. ~ Sandra Brennan, All Movie Guide