John Hazelwood Movies
An overweight, childish pizza delivery boy (Vic Dunlop, who wrote the movie) desperately wants to become a stand-up comic. One day he swallows a tiny alien who had become stuck in his cereal, and he becomes a popular Sam Kinison/Don Rickles-type insult comic. He also becomes a coke-snorting alcoholic and eventually turns into a slimy, murderous monster. Believe it or not, this is a comedy! ~ Brian Gusse, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Vic Dunlop, John Hazelwood, (more)
- 1990
- PG
The Second City comedy ensemble reunites for this camp story of a motorcycle gang trying to take home the body of a dead member (James Belushi). Problem is, they must also outrun a pesky lawyer (Ray Baker) who is trying to bring the group to justice for breaking their probation. John Candy, Dan Aykroyd and George Wendt make small appearances. ~ John Bush, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- David Rasche, Catherine Bach, (more)
- 1988
- R
Danny Warren (Edward Albert) is a former minor-league shortstop who becomes a narc to uncover drug dealing in this situation comedy. Investigating at a high-school adult-education class, he falls for the tempting teacher Katherine, played by the exotic Barbara Carrera. Danny forgets the reward of $10,000 per arrest when he elects to continue his "education." He joins a colorful group of characters that includes ex-cons, illegal aliens, and brain-dead baby boomers who cause more trouble than their younger counterparts. Swimming classes and wine tasting serve as background for a series of comic catastrophes. Danny soon suspects Katherine's colleague Mrs. Grant (Susan Tyrell) of being in cahoots with the drug dealers, and Katherine and Mrs. Grant have a prolonged fight scene that is memorably funny. ~ Dan Pavlides, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Edward Albert, Barbara Carrera, (more)
- 1987
- R
Detective Berzak (Robert Carradine) and his suave partner Hazeltine (Billy Dee Williams) combine forces to track down a notorious drug lord in this routine action feature. Captain Ferris (Peter Graves) monitors the progress of the decidedly different detectives. The trail leads to Dacosta (Barry Sattels) a respected member of the social elite and the community. Valerie Bertanelli plays Berzak's daughter Teresa, who is pumped for information by her father about his ex-wife (Doris Roberts). ~ Dan Pavlides, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Robert Carradine, Billy Dee Williams, (more)
Firewalker stars Chuck Norris as Max Donigan, an ex-Marine, and Louis Gossett, Jr. as his buddy, Leo Porter. Both set out to help Patricia Goodwyn (Melody Anderson) find a lost Aztec city and a temple filled with gold. After a few misadventures, their nemesis "El Coyote" (Sonny Landham) comes into view for awhile to make it clear that they are not without serious competition. Barroom brawls and a capture by hostile Native Americans throw roadblocks in their path, but the fearless trio forge onward toward the temple and their destiny. ~ Eleanor Mannikka, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Chuck Norris, Louis Gossett, Jr., (more)
Essentially a knock-off of the "Police Academy" series, this slapstick comedy tells the idiotic tale that contains humor to offend just about everyone as it tells the story of a milque-toast cop who moonlights at night as a paper-bag wearing stand-up comic who unfortunately gets mistaken for a paper-bag wearing bank robber. ~ Sandra Brennan, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Linda Blair, Pat Paulsen, (more)
- 1975
- R
No, Oliver Stone did not invent the Cinema of Paranoia. In 1975, for example, long before Stone first yelled "Cue the conspirators!", we were offered No Place to Hide. A group of idealistic, pure-hearted hippie activists are targeted by the evil, demonic FBI. The insidious law-enforcement minions plant a spy in the midst of the angelic flower children; this dirty rat fink goads Our Heroes (and Heroines) into committing a murderous act of radicalism that will result in life sentences for all the beautiful people. No Place to Hide is as bad as it sounds, but you'll watch anyway just to see a pre-Rocky Sylvester Stallone in the role of "Jerry." ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
