John Forgeham Movies

As in its past three seasons, the ribald British drama series Footballers' Wives continues to be propelled forward by the spectacular sexcapades of its leading character, the coke-sniffing, bed-hopping Tanya Turner (Zoe Lucker), who has already married two members of the Earls Park Sparks football team and has also managed to ensare several others in her well-manicured clutches. Arrested for drug possession at the end of Season Three, Tanya returns for more deviltry at the outset of Season Four, having spent the "interim" period as a supporting character on the British "women in prison" melodrama Bad Girls. Conrad Gates (Ben Price) is the new captain of the Sparks, and the latest prospect on Tanya's "must have sex with" list; he has also divorced his wife, the ruthlessly ambitious Bollywood starlet Amber (Laila Rouass). However, Conrad and Amber get back together again (maybe!) when he finds out that his baby son Troy is Amber's and not Tanya's. In other news, the Sparks' manager Roger Webb (Jesse Birdsall), has married Jackie Pascoe (Gillian Taylforth), the mother of ex-team member Kyle Pascoe, who has degenerated into a life of crime. Later on, Roger's son Seb (Tom Swire), who also happens to play on the team, will make an entirely different type of play for his sexy stepmom. Elsewhere, second-year team member Harley Lawson (Jamie Davis) finds that he can't trust his cosmetic surgery-addicted bride Shannon (Sarah Barrand) any farther than he can throw her when she hops in the sack with teenaged hotshot player Darius Fry (Peter Ashe). And finally, new Sparks teammate Bruno Milligan (Ben Richards) ruminates over the impending end of his career, while his wife Lucy (Helen Latham), determined to emerge from behind the shadow of her famous husband, inaugurates an affair with an internet acquaintance named Giles. All this, plus a nasty charge of "team rape" in Sunny Spain as a bonus! ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi

Season Two of the ribald British series Footballers' Wives begins some five months after the end of Season One, rapidly tying up loose story ends to make way for even more outrageous plot complications. After the rescue of his kidnapped daughter Holly, Ian Walmsley (Nathan Constance), a player on the Earls Park Sparks football team, finally realizes there is something more important in his life than sports--but how will he and his wife Donna (Katharine Monaghan) be able to reimburse his Italian teammate Sal (Daniel Schutzmann), who has ponied up the ransom money? Well, Donna at least has a solution: She goes to bed with Sal, sending Ian into an alcoholic tailspin when he finds out. Meanwhile, team member Kyle (Gary Lucy) and his ex-topless model bride Chardonnay (Susie Amy) are happily raising Paddy, the child borne by Kyle's mom Jackie (Gillian Taylforth) after her affair with Jordan (Cristian Solimero), the team-captain husband of bed-hopping, coke-snorting Tanya (Zoe Lucker). And speaking of Tanya, she has managed to wriggle out of being prosecuted for attempting to murder team owner Frank (John Forgeham) by turning the tables and insisting that Frank tried to rape her. Later in the season Tanya sleeps with her husband's bisexual agent Hazel (Alison Newman), and as a result of a drug bust is forced to do community service under the baleful eye of Frank's sadistic nurse Janette Dunkley (Julie LeGrand), who is armed with the knowledge that Tanya had tried to kill Frank while he was in a coma. Also: After a brief fling with Donna, Sal takes up with a neurotic girl named Freddie (Jessica Brooks), who prompts an arm-wrestling match between Sal and Jason--in which the latter's arm catches fire! And while Donna's ex Ian plunges deeper and deeper into the doldrums, the Sparks' coach Stefan(Philip Bretherton) replaces him with teenaged hotshot Darius (Peter Ash), who finds himself next on Tanya's "sack list." The season ends with Frank trying to purge his life of the troublesome Tanya, who makes a bloody spectacle of herself during the ceremony in which she was supposed to renew her marital vows with Jason. Suddenly, a mysterious stroke of fate succeeds in bumping off two of the series' main characters in one fell swoop! ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi

The classic Burt Reynolds football-behind-bars flick The Longest Yard crosses the pond and gets an appropriate British accent in the process in this rough-and-tumble mixture of sports and action-comedy. Danny Mehan (Vinnie Jones) was one of the biggest stars in British football (what Americans call soccer), until he was caught rigging a game during a championship tournament. In the wake of this scandal, Danny's career takes a nosedive and his life spins out of control, until he finally ends up in prison for three years on an assault and battery conviction. Danny discovers there are a number of football fans behind bars who still hate him for fixing the game, but Danny has one powerful fan in this prison. The warden (David Hemmings) is a devoted football supporter with a taste for gambling; he's been trying to assemble a semi-pro team comprised of the prison's guards, but Danny is just smart enough to know this would seal his fate with his fellow prisoners. Instead, he offers to put together a team of inmates, who can play practice games against the guards. A new inmate, Sykes (John Forgeham), gets wind of Danny's idea and arranges an exhibition match between Danny's new team and the guards, though Sykes' motivation is more than just good fun. A powerful bookie, Sykes lost a fortune on the game Danny threw, and expects betting to be heavy for this game. If Danny and his men win, Sykes could make back the fortune he lost, but if the guards come out ahead, Danny's goose is cooked. Can Danny turn a gang of losers, misfits, and violent psychopaths -- including muscle-bound lunatic Monk (Jason Statham), creepy but loyal Billy the Limpit (Danny Dyer), tough guy Massive (Vas Blackwood), pyromaniac Nitro (Robbie Gee), and enthusiastic but out-of-shape Raj (Omid Djalili) -- into a proper team with a fighting chance of winning? Mean Machine was produced by Matthew Vaughn, who was also behind Guy Ritchie's tough-but-stylish crime comedies Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch. Star Vinnie Jones, by the way, enjoyed a career as a professional footballer in Great Britain before turning to acting. ~ Mark Deming, Rovi

This comedy of manners from playwright Michael Frayn, author of Noises Off (1992), was based on his teleplay for "Jamie, On a Flying Visit," a 1968 episode of the legendary BBC television series The Wednesday Play (1964-70). Middle class couple Ian (Rik Mayall) and insurance adjuster Lorna (Imelda Staunton) have their troubles, including a rebellious teenage daughter who's dating a car thief, Lorna's frustrated dreams of being a writer, and Ian's joblessness. Then Jamie (Robert Lindsay) appears on their doorstep. An ex-boyfriend that Lorna hasn't seen in twenty years, Jamie's keeping a few secrets past and present, all of which emerge to the chagrin of Ian and Lorna, as Jamie and his buxom girlfriend Georgina (Natalie Walker) are invited to share dinner and then stay the night. ~ Karl Williams, Rovi

This made-for-cable feature film stars Edward Asner as a fashionable confidence trickster. Asner masterminds an investment scam which cleans out four gullible young men. The foursome pool their resources and decide to beat Asner at his own game with a con of their own. Jenny Agutter is the lovely bait used by the victims to trap the seemingly susceptible crook. Originally shown in two two-hour installments, Not a Penny More, Not a Penny Less had some surface stylishness thanks to director Clive Donner; unfortunately, there's hardly enough story to fill up even 90 of the film's 200 minutes. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi

Based on the famous comic strip, Sheena chronicles the adventures of the title character (Tanya Roberts), a fair-skinned orphan taken in by a kindly Zambouli priestess (Elizabeth of Toro, a real-life African queen) in a remote African village and trained in the ancient arts of makeup and hairstyling. When American newsmen Fletcher (Donovan Scott) and Vic (Ted Wass) travel to her homeland to cover a story on Prince Otwani (Trevor Thomas), they uncover his plot to assassinate his brother, the reigning prince (a renowned field-goal kicker), and frame the priestess for the crime. Sheena joins forces with the newsmen to stop him and restore order to the country. Although Roberts looks great in a loincloth, her assets alone cannot save this turkey; one wonders where the jungle princess manages to plug in her blow-dryer. This ridiculous film was panned across the board upon its release and subsequently bombed. ~ Jeremy Beday, Rovi

The classic adventure novel by Sir Walter Scott, which covers the same ground as the various Robin Hood legends, becomes this impressive television production, boasting a well-heeled British cast, a robust pace, and solid production values. Wilfred of Ivanhoe (Anthony Andrews) is a young Saxon knight of 12th century England. Returning home from fighting in the Crusades alongside King Richard the Lionheart (Julian Glover), Ivanhoe finds that the nation is now under the dictatorial thumb of the king's brother, Prince John (Ronald Pickup) and the prince's thuggish Norman cohorts. He is also dismayed to learn that his longtime love, Lady Rowena (Lysette Anthony), has been betrothed to another man. Determined to restore throne and country to Richard, the courageous Ivanhoe has soon run afoul of those in power, though a few rebellious types like Robin Hood (David Robb) are on his side. Ivanhoe also finds love again, with the lovely Jewish girl Rebecca (Olivia Hussey), though she and her wise father Isaac of York (James Mason) face Norman persecution for their religious faith. Ivanhoe also finds a deadly rival in the cynically twisted knight Brian de Bois-Guilbert (Sam Neill). ~ Karl Williams, Rovi

The quintessential British caper film of the 1960s, The Italian Job is a flashy, fast romp that chases a team of career criminals throughout one of the biggest international gold heists in history. Michael Caine is Charlie Croker, a stylish robber and skirt-chaser just out of British prison. Shunning rehabilitation for recidivism, Croker takes over "The Italian Job," a complicated plan to hijack gold bullion from Italy -- right from underneath the noses of the Italian Police and the Mafia. The job, whose original mastermind was murdered, clearly requires the sponsorship of a richer, more established criminal than Croker. He turns to the auspices of the eccentric Mr. Bridger (Noël Coward in his last film role), a suave, regal, incarcerated English crime boss with a peculiar fascination with the Queen. Bridger provides Croker with a quirky group of Britain's most infamous computer hackers (including a lascivious Benny Hill), bank robbers, hijackers, and getaway drivers -- the ex-con is soon well on his way to relieving Italy of the gold. ~ Aubry Anne D'Arminio, Rovi