John Bloom Movies

"The Episode You Thought You'd Never See"--mainly, an episode in which one of the Bundys' get-rich-quick schemes actually pays off--is how TV Guide heralded the opening of Married. . .With Children's ninth season. The moneymaking gambit adopted by Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill) and neighbor Jefferson D'Arcy (Ted McGinley) is triggered by the discovery of a cache of fashionable shoes from the 1970s. In a twinkling, Al's shoe store has been transformed into the "retro" establishment "Bundy's House of Sole." Elsewhere, Kelly (Christina Applegate), filming a commercial for "Pest Boys", is bitten by a rare insect, and as a result is capable of speaking only the truth! Hard Copy co-anchor Terry Murphy appears as herself. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

A rising young executive is ecstatic to learn that he is to be acting president at the small-town bank his company just purchased until he gets there and realizes that it is a sperm bank. This base little comedy centers on his attempts to make the place profitable and also chronicles the growing love between himself and the uptight but pretty biologist who works there. ~ Sandra Brennan, All Movie Guide

In the John Hughes-scripted The Great Outdoors, John Candy stars as Chet Ripley, an oafish paterfamilias who takes his family on a vacation at a lakeside resort. Their enjoyment is seriously compromised when brother-in-law Roman Craig (Dan Aykroyd) shows up with his wife and kiddies. The rest of the film is an ongoing war between Ripley's carefree aggregation and Craig's obnoxiously prissy brood, and making things worse, a driving rainstorm forces both families to remain under one roof well-past their threshold of patience. Annette Bening makes her film debut as Aykroyd's ill-tempered wife. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

"I," in this instance, stands for "Indestructible." Thus, star Scott Bakula is actually the Indestructible Man. Formerly a cab driver, Bakula becomes invulnerable when when exposed to a mysterious gas, then decides to utilize his "gift" for the Good of Mankind. At the urging of his hero-worshipping son (Joey Cramer), Bakula becomes a secret agent, working as a team with beautiful spy Ellen Bry. This TV pilot, which aired on The Disney Sunday Movie on April 6, 1986, finds I-Man and lovely his aide trying to wrest a stolen laser gun away from an addled villain (John Anderson). I-Man was directed by TV-movie stalwart Corey Allen, who thirty years earlier had played the unfortunate teenager who lost the "chicken run" to James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause (1955). ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

Tom Hanks stars in this raunchy teen comedy from veteran screenwriters Pat Proft and Neil Israel, who had previously collaborated on the amusing sketch film Tunnelvision (1976) and the disappointing Americathon (1980). Bus-driver Rick Gasko (Hanks) is engaged to wealthy Debbie Thompson (Tawny Kitaen), much to the chagrin of her father (George Grizzard), who considers Rick a loser. To keep an eye on her future groom, Debbie and her friends dress as prostitutes to attend his bachelor party, which quickly turns into a bacchanal of smutty debauchery. Familiar faces in the cast include action stars Michael Dudikoff and Ji-Tu Cimbuka, pin-ups Monique Gabrielle and Rosanne Katon, and teen-movie regulars Adrian Zmed and Wendie Jo Sperber. It's an occasionally hilarious excursion into bad taste, although one which two-time Oscar winner Hanks would probably like to forget. ~ Robert Firsching, All Movie Guide

This atrocious sequel to the 1977 horror classic is padded with so much of that film's footage that it seems more like a rerun than a new story. The entire cast seems to have lengthy flashbacks of the previous movie's events, including -- in what must be a cinematic first -- the German shepherd dog. The remaining screen time is spent on an uninvolving battle between some bland motocross bikers and the cannibal hillfolk. To be fair, director Wes Craven has stated that the film was extensively tampered with prior to release. That may get Craven off the hook, but doesn't make this muddled mess any easier to watch. ~ Robert Firsching, All Movie Guide

A slapdash epic of bad filmmaking geared strictly toward drive-in audiences, Dracula vs. Frankenstein has gone on to achieve cult status thanks to its sheer ineptness and impressive cast. At an oceanside amusement park, Dr. Frankenstein (J. Carrol Naish) runs a house of horrors that serves as a cover for his more devious scientific experimentation -- work that requires the murderous deeds of his mute assistant Groton (Lon Chaney Jr.). After stealing the corpse of Frankenstein's monster, Dracula visits the doctor and makes him an offer he can't refuse: resurrect the monster so that Dracula can use the beast to carry out his plan to take over the world. At the same time, lounge singer Judith (Regina Carrol) arrives at the park against the advice of detective Martin (Jim Davis) to search for her missing sister. She is drugged in a bar and winds up in the care of kindly stud Mike (Anthony Eisley), who takes up the investigation with her. Meanwhile, Dr. Frankenstein and Dracula resurrect the monster and immediately send it to kill the doctor's old enemy (Forrest J. Ackerman). Judith and Mike encounter the monster and, after a narrow escape, they confront Dr. Frankenstein who is beheaded in the ensuing melee. Sgt. Martin arrives in time to kill Groton before he attacks Judith, but not before Dracula kills Mike and takes Judith captive. He ties her up in the lab and prepares to bite her, but the monster goes mad, leading to a ferocious battle. ~ Patrick Legare, All Movie Guide

King Amir (Reed Hadley), the beloved leader of a small Middle Eastern country named Khaleed, is sick with terminal cancer and he isn't prepared to die. His confidants arrange with an American scientist to carry out an experimental operation: Amir's brain will be transplanted into the skull of a healthy new body, allowing him to cheat death and continue ruling as a benevolent despot. When he succumbs, the corpse is rushed to the United States, where Dr. Trenton (Kent Taylor) immediately removes the brain and places it in a specially prepared receptacle. Trenton sends Amir's associates away so he can finish the procedure, but as they drive down a steep mountain road, their car is besieged by a menacing driver who succeeds in forcing them off a cliff. Robert (Grant Williams) survives, and suspects that someone is trying to usurp Amir's throne. Meanwhile, the mad doctor dispatches his servant Gor (John Bloom) to find him a healthy male body for Amir to inhabit. Gor, a hulking monstrosity with a twisted face and a child's intelligence, is too clumsy in his horrible task, and Dr. Trenton deems the victim unusable. But Amir's brain can only live outside of the body for a matter of hours, even though they keep it nourished with plenty of fresh human blood (obtained by keeping some teenage girls chained in the basement and tapping them like kegs). Gor is picked to host the transplanted brain, despite his hideous scars, and when Amir awakens and discovers the horrific body the doctor has given him, he goes mad. Robert returns to save his leader, but now Dr. Trenton is demanding control over Khaleed, and special electrodes he secretly implanted in Amir's brain mean he might succeed. Directed by Al Adamson, this gory shocker features Adamson regulars like Zandor Vorkov, Angelo Rossitto, and Regina Carrol. ~ Fred Beldin, All Movie Guide