Joseph Middleton Movies
Earning the type of divisive emotional responses normally reserved for those on the far right or the far left of the political spectrum, writer Tucker Max celebrated his debauchery-driven lifestyle in the memoir I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. Now Max earns credit as both co-screenwriter and producer of the film adaptation with this comedy from Niagara Niagara director Bob Gosse. In the film, Tucker (Gilmore Girls' Matt Czuchry) behaves very badly at his friend's bachelor party, getting his invite to the nuptials revoked. Can he renounce his (not-so) inner selfish jerk in time to recapture his invitation? I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell also stars Geoff Stults, Jesse Bradford, and Traci Lords. ~ All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Matt Czuchry, Jesse Bradford, (more)
- 2009
- PG13
- Add The Twilight Saga: New Moon to Queue
The supernatural tale of star-crossed lovers continues as the Cullen family flees Forks in order to protect Bella (Kristen Stewart), and the heartbroken high-school senior discovers that vampires aren't the only creatures in town. Realizing that Bella will never be safe as long as he's around, Edward (Robert Pattinson) makes the difficult decision to leave his beloved behind shortly after her 18th birthday. Reeling from her loss, Bella embraces self-destruction after being comforted by Edward's image during a moment of mortal peril. But as heavy-hearted as Bella may be, her old friend Jacob (Taylor Lautner) distracts her from her sorrows by helping her renovate a weather-beaten motorbike. When Bella encounters a former adversary with a sizable grudge, she's rescued from harm at the last second by pack of enormous, ferocious wolves. Subsequently delving into the history of the Quileutes, Bella discovers the secrets of Jacob's tribe while looking forward to a reunion with Edward that may have deadly consequences. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, (more)
Jamie Foxx stars as an assistant DA who finds himself at the mercy of a spiteful vigilante (Gerard Butler) hell-bent on avenging the death of his wife and daughter, whose murderers are set free due to legal loopholes. F. Gary Gray (The Italian Job) directs from a script by Frank Darabont and Kurt Wimmer. ~ Jeremy Wheeler, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Jamie Foxx, Gerard Butler, (more)
Based on the popular series of books by Darren Shan, Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant tells the story of a small-town teen who inadvertently shatters a 200-year-old truce between warring factions of vampires. Sixteen-year-old Darren (Chris Massoglia) is your typical adolescent; he spends most of his time with his best friend, Steve (Josh Hutcherson), earns decent grades, and generally manages to stay out of trouble. But trouble finds Darren when he and Steve make the acquaintance of a vampire named Larten Crepsley (John C. Reilly) while attending a traveling freak show at a local theater. Transformed into a bloodsucker by Crepsley, Darren joins the Cirque Du Freak and quickly ingratiates himself with the unusual cast of characters who populate it, including Madame Truska the Bearded Lady (Salma Hayek) and the traveling sideshow's towering barker (Ken Watanabe). As Darren works to master his newfound powers as a budding member of the supernatural underworld, he becomes a valued pawn between the vampires and their deadlier rivals, the Vampaneze. With tensions between the two sects intensifying, Darren must figure out a means of keeping the coming war from destroying his last vestige of humanity. Patrick Fugit, Orlando Jones, Willem Dafoe, and Jane Krakowski co-star. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- John C. Reilly, Josh Hutcherson, (more)
After a one-night fling, a motel manager (Steve Zahn) impulsively follows a small-time art dealer (Jennifer Aniston) across the country in this romantic comedy from playwright-turned-director Stephen Belber. Woody Harrelson co-stars as Aniston's wealthy boyfriend in the MGM production. ~ Jeremy Wheeler, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Jennifer Aniston, Steve Zahn, (more)
- 2008
- PG13
- Add The Haunting of Molly Hartley to QueueAdd The Haunting of Molly Hartley to top of Queue
Go and Broken Hearts Club producer Mickey Liddell makes his feature directorial debut with this suspense thriller about a high-school student who arrives in a new town only to find that her frightful past won't be forgotten so easily. Molly Hartley (Haley Bennett) was all ready for a fresh start in life, and kindly classmate Joseph (Chace Crawford) was more than willing to help out by showing her the ropes around school. But Molly Hartley is a girl with a sinister secret. Only when she discovers the truth about who she really is will she finally understand what she might one day become. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Haley Bennett, Chace Crawford, (more)
Following up his blockbuster action hit Mr. and Mrs. Smith, director Doug Liman turns to an entirely new genre -- sci-fi -- for this tale of an underground world of teleporters. Based on the novel by Steven Gould, Jumper concerns David (Hayden Christensen), a young man who quite literally wills himself away from his grim family life by teleporting to another place with the power of his mind. Years later, David is using his powers to raid bank vaults, seduce girls in London, lunch on the pyramids, and surf in Fiji. But he soon discovers that he is not the only one bestowed with this unique gift, and all is not well in the world of jumpers. There are people out there, such as Roland (Samuel L. Jackson), who view jumpers as a threat to all humankind, and have made it their mission in life to eliminate them. After jumping back to Michigan to get reacquainted with his long lost love, Millie (Rachel Bilson), David makes the acquaintance of experienced jumper Griffin (Jamie Bell). Informed by Griffin of a secret between jumpers and a shadowy group that seeks to destroy them, the pair soon finds themselves facing off against a legion of murderous opponents who won't stop fighting until every last jumper has been eliminated. ~ Michael Hastings, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Hayden Christensen, Jamie Bell, (more)
- 2008
- PG13
- Add Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist to QueueAdd Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist to top of Queue
Michael Cera and Kat Dennings star as two lonesome teens who make a love connection as they prowl the streets of New York looking for their favorite band's secret show, as well as for their drunk friend Caroline. Norah is sick of being the doormat for her catty friend Tris, so rather than look like she's arrived at yet another concert without her unreliable ex-boyfriend-with-benefits Tal, she grabs a stranger and pretends he's her date. Unfortunately, that stranger is Nick -- whom Tris just dumped. Oddly enough, though, Nick and Norah seem to have a real connection. But is Nick still too hung up on the princess? The only way to find out is to spend all night combing Manhattan in a yellow Yugo. ~ Jeremy Wheeler, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Michael Cera, Kat Dennings, (more)
Filmmaker Jason Freeland draws inspiration from the eponymous song for this tale of five lost souls attempting to navigate the treacherous urban landscape of contemporary Los Angeles. April is an ambitious beauty in search of success, but can she learn to get by and keep on her clothes at the same time? Sally St. Clair is a sexy realtor with a secret past. She's got a great eye for spotting lost souls, and thrives on giving them direction in life. One of those lost souls is Nathan, her new assistant. Nathan moved to Los Angeles from Nebraska seeking to find success as a dancer, but now most of his time is spent making photocopies for Sally and her clients. One of those clients is Todd, a porn-addicted artist who agrees to help Sally get revenge for a past indiscretion in exchange for her helping him realize his greatest fantasy. Meanwhile, as starry-eyed street musician Sammy moves in with Nathan, the new roommates both have disparate ideas about the direction their relationship is headed, and everyone involved becomes hopelessly ensnared in Sally's kinky entanglements. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Vinessa Shaw, Willa Holland, (more)
When a San Francisco homicide detective with a keen eye for criminal profiling is fired for botching the arrest of a notorious serial killer, his subsequent effort to reinvent himself as an insurance claims case-investigator leads him to study a series of perplexing wrongful deaths in this comedy starring Joseph Fiennes, Winona Ryder, Tim Blake Nelson, and Wilmer Valderrama. Michael Burrows (Fiennes) isn't your typical detective. Though Detective Burrows is a paranoid obsessive-compulsive who faints at the sight of blood, his remarkable insight into the criminal mindset has nevertheless made him a valuable asset to the San Francisco Police Department. When Detective Burrows' idiosyncrasies allow the feared "North Beach Killer" to elude capture, however, he is fired by his superiors. Upon offering his unique skills to a doubting insurance company, Burrows is given 30 days in which to prove he can sort out the legitimate claims from the false ones. Now, as Burrows makes for the Midwest in the company of hard-nosed field agent Siri Tyler (Ryder), the film student (Valderrama) who has been following the former detective for his thesis follows the pair as they investigate a series of forehead-slapping deaths, including that of a powerful executive who attempts to prove that his high-rise window is unbreakable and a pair of English tourists who fatally misinterpret the "cruise control" function on their rented RV. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Joseph Fiennes, Winona Ryder, (more)
- 2006
- Add Water Dog: The Hunter's Retriever for Waterfowl to QueueAdd Water Dog: The Hunter's Retriever for Waterfowl to top of Queue
The release Water Dog: The Hunter's Retriever for Waterfowl (2nd Edition) teaches hunting enthusiasts to train their seven-month old waterfowl and upland retriever puppies to fetch waterfowl. It provides an onscreen illustration of methods cultivated by esteemed dog trainer Richard A. Wolters in the early 1960s.Charles T. Jurney hosts the training program, taken from a video by Joseph Middleton. ~ Nathan Southern, All Movie Guide
The President of the United States (Dennis Quaid) seems to be having a nervous breakdown after picking up a newspaper for the first time in four years, and when his Chief of Staff (Willem Dafoe) determines to get the Commander in Chief out of his pajamas and back into the spotlight, the stage is set for a talent contest that the nation will never forget. To President Staton, the world is a fairly black-and-white place, but a glance at the daily headlines on the eve of his reelection leaves the most powerful man in the free world shaken to the very core. Now determined to read as much as possible in order to best assess the opinions of the general public, President Staton locks himself away and obsessively begins taking in as much information as humanly possible. With concern about the President's mental health soon taking precedence over all other issues in the White House, his nervous Chief of Staff attempts to get the Commander in Chief back in the public eye by booking him as a guest judge on television's top-rated talent show, "American Dreamz." A weekly ratings juggernaut hosted by self-loathing celebrity Martin Tweed (Hugh Grant), "American Dreamz" cashes in on the dominant culture of celebrity by affording everyday Americans the opportunity to be catapulted into stardom. As "American Dreamz" hopefuls Sally (Mandy Moore) and Omer (Sam Golzari) progress to the final round and the President takes his seat on the panel, an unexpected revelation about one of the finalists promises to make this season finale the biggest ratings grabber in television history. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Dennis Quaid, Hugh Grant, (more)
- 2006
Apparently inspired by the success of the 2001 remake of Ocean's 11 and its sequels, the NBC series Heist spent its entire first season following a gang of clever and charismatic criminals as they prepared to rob three Rodeo Drive jewelers simultaneously on the eve of the annual Academy Awards ceremony. Dougray Scott played ringleader Mickey O'Neil, who engaged the series of a team of "specialists" -- chief among them Lola (Marika Dominczyk) and Ricky (David Walton) -- to carry out his elaborate scheme. As O'Neill's team pulled off a series of smaller robberies to finance the big caper, police detective Amy Sykes (Michele Hicks) began to dog their trail, determined to gather enough evidence to throw the gang into the clink before anything else was stolen. Alas, Amy was hampered not only by her squabbling partners, Tyrese Evans (Reno Wilson) and Billy O'Brien (Billy Gardell), but also by the fact that she had fallen in love with O'Neill. Others in the cast included Steve Harris as James Johnson, O'Neill's best friend/severest critic/sounding board, and Seymour Cassel as veteran career criminal Pops. To boost its initial ratings, Heist was unveiled by NBC on March 22, 2006, in the Wednesday-night time slot usually reserved for the league-leading Law & Order. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Dougray Scott, Michele Hicks, (more)
When the weight of rejection begins to set in after being denied entry to every college he has applied to, a high school burnout attempts to placate his mom and dad and win the heart of his dream girl by scheming with his friends to create a fake university in a hilarious comedy of artificial education directed by Steve Pink and starring Justin Long. Bartleby "B" Gaines (Long) is a high school senior whose street smarts just never seemed to translate into the classroom, and whose bad luck in love has left him pining for the unattainable Monica (Blake Lively). When Bartleby and his rebellious crew of outcasts find the frequent college rejection letters they have all been receiving bringing endless grief from their disappointed parents, they soon band together to create the fictional South Harmon Institute of Technology. After creating a believable façade in an abandoned psychiatric hospital, employing the talents of a close friend's brilliantly subversive uncle (Lewis Black) to pose as the dean, and creating a phony website in order to sell the school to their parents, Bartleby and friends soon realize that all of their hard work has paid off in ways than they never imagined. With a variety of college rejects attempting to enroll in classes at the ersatz university and the skepticism of some privileged students from a nearby college drawing unwanted attention to the South Harmon Institute of Technology, Bartleby and friends find their ruse becoming ever more difficult to maintain. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Justin Long, Jonah Hill, (more)
When a devoted mother and wife begins to experience a series of intensely terrifying visions, she soon begins to question her own sanity in a deeply unsettling psychological thriller from first-time feature filmmaker Ariel Vromen. By day Danika (Marisa Tomei) works at the local bank, and by night she assumes the role of loving family-woman to her husband Randy (Craig Bierko) and their three children Brian (Ridge Canipe), Kurt (Kyle Gallner), and Lauren (Nicki Prian). After experiencing a frighteningly vivid hallucination one day at work, the stressed-out twenty-five year old decides to quit her job and spend more time at home with the family. Though she soon opts to seek the help of a youthful therapist, Danika 's paranoia regarding the safety of her children grows increasingly intense as news stations begin to air a series of gruesome crime stories which all seem to concern the harming of young children. As paranoia rapidly morphs into panic and a series of premonitions leaves the fragile Danika an emotional disaster, the now-hysterical mother does her best to discern whether her continuing visions are the result of a deepening mental illness, or some unknown power from far beyond her realm of comprehension. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Marisa Tomei, Craig Bierko, (more)
Two friends who've convinced themselves they would never make a good couple discover they might just be wrong in this romantic comedy. Oliver (Ashton Kutcher) and Emily (Amanda Peet) first met when they were college students sharing a flight from California to New York; Emily spontaneously seduced Oliver on the plane, and they spent the next few days together in the city. When they parted, however, Emily decided not to pursue a relationship with Oliver, even though he was obviously interested. Over the next several years, circumstances kept putting them in one another's paths, and over the years Oliver and Emily became close friends and confidantes. Both are still certain, though, that they're entirely wrong for each other on a romantic level. However, after nearly a decade, with both Oliver and Emily edging into their thirties, they begin to wonder if they've allowed a great opportunity to pass them by. A Lot Like Love also stars Kathryn Hahn, Ali Larter, and Kal Penn. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Ashton Kutcher, Amanda Peet, (more)
The cult-favorite television series which offered a fun-house version of '70s "after-school specials" returns in this big-screen prequel to the show Strangers With Candy. Middle-aged ex-prostitute, former drug addict and all-around lowlife Jerri Blank (Amy Sedaris) emerges from prison at the age of 46 ready to start her life over again. Jerri arrives at her parents' home to discover that her father Guy (Dan Hedaya) divorced Jerri's mom and remarried before slipping into a coma. Jerri's stepmom Sara (Deborah Rush) decides to let her stay with the family in the hope her presence might bring Guy around, though she doesn't seem very fond of her new "daughter." Jerri decides to complete the education she abandoned years ago by enrolling at Flatpoint High School, where Principal Blackman (Greg Hollimon) has bigger fish to fry than a middle-aged sex offender as a student. It seems Flatpoint's science scores have been dreadful, and only a first-place entry in the county science fair will maintain the school's accreditation. Science fair guru Roger Beekman (Matthew Broderick) is brought in with hopes of creating a winning project, but science teacher Mr. Noblet (Stephen Colbert) objects to using outside talent and starts a separate team of his own, bringing in Jerri to give her something to do. As it happens, Noblet's team comes up with a potential prize-winner with their Soup Can Superconductor, while Beekman foolishly accepts the help of art teacher Mr. Jellineck (Paul Dinello) and ends up with a dance routine instead of a science presentation. Determined to win out over Noblet's team, Beekman tries to get his hand on the plans for Noblet's project by convincing handsome Brason (Chris Pratt) to charm them away from weak-willed Jerri. Strangers With Candy also features cameo appearances from Philip Seymour Hoffman, Allison Janney, Ian Holm, and Kristen Johnston. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Amy Sedaris, Deborah Rush, (more)
Many married couples have secrets, but one pair of lovebirds discover they've both been living dangerous secret lives in this action thriller laced with comedy. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt and play Jane Smith and John Smith, a suburban couple whose marriage has started to go a bit stale after five or six years. Both wish for more excitement in their relationship, but as it happens, each of them is finding plenty of thrills elsewhere. Both Jane and John are world-class assassins who will take on perilous missions for the right price, but neither is aware of the other's secret life - Jane thinks her husband runs a successful construction company, and John believes his wife works on Wall Street. However, when John and Jane are both assigned to take out the same target, one Benjamin Danz (Adam Brody), they become aware of each other's secret lives, and suddenly both their careers and their marriage go through some dramatic and potentially deadly changes. Mr. and Mrs. Smith also stars Vince Vaughn as an assassin with John's company who still lives with his mother and Kerry Washington as one of Jane's associates. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, (more)
A washed-up ballplayer is put in charge of a pack of kids scarcely more mature than himself in this remake of the 1976 comedy hit. Morris Buttermaker (Billy Bob Thornton) is a former major league baseball player whose career and life has hit the skids thanks to his overwhelming fondness for booze and women. Needing a break, his lawyer (Marcia Gay Harden) arranges for Buttermaker to take on coaching responsibilities for the Bears, a Little League baseball team comprised of a handful of hapless losers. As Buttermaker tries to groom his young charges into a winning team, he also gives them a glimpse of his hard-living lifestyle while they gear up to take on perennial rivals the Yankees and their arrogant Coach Bullock (Greg Kinnear. The 2005 version of The Bad News Bears was written by Glenn Ficarra and John Requa, who previously scripted another Billy Bob Thornton vehicle, Bad Santa. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Billy Bob Thornton, Greg Kinnear, (more)
One of the "popular girls" decides to put her mean streak to work in this black comedy. Kimberly Joyce (Evan Rachel Wood) is an outwardly friendly but inwardly cold and manipulative teenager who attends an exclusive private school in Beverly Hills when she's not making fun of her twentysomething stepmother (Jaime King) or listening to her business mogul father (James Woods) rant about the many people he hates. Kimberly's best friend is Brittany (Elisabeth Harnois), who doesn't seem to notice that Kimberly holds a bit of a grudge over the fact Brittany is now dating Troy (Stark Sands), Kimberly's former boyfriend. When Randa (Adi Schnall), an exchange student from the Middle East, arrives at school, Kimberly is asked to show her around, and soon she's giving her the inside scoop on the school's social hierarchy. Kimberly, Brittany, and Randa, like most of the girls at school, don't much care for Mr. Anderson (Ron Livingston), a teacher who doesn't make much of a secret of his lust for the female student body, though he doesn't do much besides look. Kimberly decides to do something about Mr. Anderson by fabricating a story that he has had inappropriate contact with her, Brittany, and Randa, and it doesn't take long for the matter to become a local scandal, though it does end up backfiring on Kimberly in time. Pretty Persuasion also features supporting performances from Selma Blair, Jane Krakowski, and Michael Hitchcock. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Evan Rachel Wood, Ron Livingston, (more)
The feature-film debut of director Zack Snyder, Dawn of the Dead is a modern retelling of George Romero's 1978 horror classic, which was actually the second film in a trilogy that began with Night of the Living Dead and concluded with Day of the Dead. Sarah Polley and Ving Rhames star as two of the last remaining people on an earth that has been ravaged by flesh-eating zombies. After escaping to a shopping mall with a handful of other survivors, they decide that they only way to truly elude the approaching throng of undead is to somehow make their way to an island that is supposedly zombie-free. Jake Weber and Mekhi Phifer also star. ~ Matthew Tobey, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Sarah Polley, Ving Rhames, (more)
A middle-aged man finds a callow twentysomething usurping his professional life and worming his way into his family in this alternately funny and poignant comedy drama. Dan Foreman (Dennis Quaid) is a middle-aged man who has spent 20 years as the head of advertising sales for Sports America, a leading athletics magazine. Dan is happily married to Ann (Marg Helgenberger) and has a college-age daughter, Alex (Scarlett Johansson), whom he dotes on, but Dan's comfortable life is given a major shake-up when a large multimedia firm buys the magazine. Seen as a bit long in the tooth to be truly competitive, Dan is demoted to second in command of advertising, and his position is handed over to Carter Duryea (Topher Grace), a 26-year-old who talks a good game about sales but has no practical experience in the field. Dan's wounded ego makes working with the arrogant Carter an uphill battle, but when he learns that Ann is expecting another baby, Dan is in no position to quit. Before long, Dan becomes aware of Carter's intense insecurities about his new job as the younger man reaches out to him for guidance, but this doesn't make Dan any less angry when Carter begins a romance with Alex after his marriage to Kimberley (Selma Blair) crashes and burns. In Good Company marked the solo directorial debut of Paul Weitz; he previously worked in collaboration with his brother Chris Weitz, who serves as producer on this film. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Dennis Quaid, Topher Grace, (more)
The second chapter in the "Bourne Trilogy," based on Robert Ludlum's best-selling espionage novels, reaches the screen in this sequel to the 2002 thriller The Bourne Identity. Jason Bourne (Matt Damon) has abandoned his life as a CIA assassin and has been traveling beneath the agency's radar, eventually reconnecting with Marie Kreutz (Franka Potente), the woman he loves. But Bourne is haunted by vivid dreams and troubling memories of his days as a killer, and he's not certain how much really happened and how much is a product of his imagination. When Bourne is led out of hiding by circumstances beyond his control, he must reconcile his past and present as he struggles to keep Marie out of harm's way and foil an international incident with dangerous consequences. The Bourne Supremacy also features Joan Allen as one of Bourne's superiors, while Julia Stiles and Brian Cox reprise their roles as intelligence agents from the first film. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Matt Damon, Franka Potente, (more)
- 2004
- PG13
- Add Win a Date With Tad Hamilton! to QueueAdd Win a Date With Tad Hamilton! to top of Queue
Robert Luketic (Legally Blonde) directs the romantic comedy Win a Date With Tad Hamilton! from a screenplay by TV scriptwriter Victor Levin. Famous Hollywood actor Tad Hamilton (soap opera star Josh Duhamel making his film debut) is trying to promote his new movie. His manager (Sean Hayes) and his agent (Nathan Lane) both convince him to participate in a dating contest in order to improve his bad-boy image. The contest is won by Rosalee Futch (Kate Bosworth), an attractive young checkout girl who works at a Piggly Wiggly in West Virginia. When Tad ends up falling in love with her, he's willing to give up big-city life and move to small-town America. Meanwhile, her best friend and co-worker Pete (Topher Grace) is finally motivated to reveal his secret crush on her. Rosalee finds herself in the middle of a love triangle between her closest friend and a dream date. ~ Andrea LeVasseur, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Kate Bosworth, Topher Grace, (more)
