Melvin Simon Movies

In this third entry in the raunchy, sophomoric comedy series, the riotous students of Angel Beach High endeavor to get even with their old nemesis Porky who is trying to force the basketball coach into throwing the championship game. It seems Coach has been on a losing streak at Porky's newest establishment, a riverboat converted into a casino. Plenty of slapstick mayhem ensues when his team rallies to save him and the big game. ~ Sandra Brennan, All Movie Guide

A small California town is gripped by UFO fever in this well-acted, surprisingly rich comedy. At the center of the mania is Arlene, a grocery store clerk and born-again Christian fascinated with flying saucers. This interest soon evolves into a full-blown obsession when Arlene is visited by a visionary dream, which she believes predicts the imminent arrival of a vessel from outer space in the nearby desert. Not even the doubts of her skeptical boyfriend, a good-hearted petty thief named Sheldon, are enough to dissuade her from her new role as prophet of the coming spaceship. At first hesitant and awkward, Arlene soon blossoms into a confident leader, and Sheldon puts aside his disbelief to revel in their sudden fame. Indeed, two have soon attracted enough of a following to pique the interest of Reverend Bud Sanders, the local revivalist preacher. Soon, Reverend Bud has joined in the crusade, and a good portion of the town has gathered to anxiously await the spaceship's arrival. Rather than resorting to easy ridicule, director John Binder creates an unexpectedly sympathetic, yet still comedic, portrait of the UFO believers, neither condemning their faith nor denying the fine line between belief and gullibility. ~ Judd Blaise, All Movie Guide

Love it or loathe it (and there are a goodly number of people on either side), Porky's was one of the most successful comedies of its day, spawning two direct sequels and inspiring an incalculable number of lowbrow teen comedies, most recently including American Pie (1999). Pee Wee (Dan Monahan), Billy (Mark Herrier), Tommy (Wyatt Knight), and Mickey (Roger Wilson) are four painfully horny high school kids growing up in South Florida in the 1950's. Desperate to rid themselves of their cumbersome virginity, they head out to a sleazy bar near the swamps called Porky's, where local legend has it that the owner will fix you up with a prostitute for a reasonable fee. After Porky takes their money and dumps them in the swamp, the guys vow to get revenge. Meanwhile, Pee Wee has to deal with his shrinking penis, someone drills a hole in the wall of the girl's shower, the guys encounter a prostitute named Cherry Forever, and anti-Semitism rears its ugly head. Cheerfully rude in a manner few mainstream films had achieved at that time, Porky's, for better or worse, changed the standard of what was acceptable in a screen comedy. Remarkably enough, two years later director Bob Clark made the holiday favorite A Christmas Story, which displayed his considerable range, if nothing else. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide

In The Man With Bogart's Face, an affectionate send-up of the Bogart detective films of the 1940s, Robert Sacchi plays a man who idolizes Humphrey Bogart so much he has his features altered to look exactly like his idol. He then opens up a detective agency under the name Sam Marlowe (an amalgam of the names of Bogart's characters from The Maltese Falcon and The Big Sleep). Sam hires the Duchess (Misty Rowe) as his secretary ("She looked like Marilyn Monroe and made about as much sense as Gracie Allen") and "Sam Marlowe, Private Eye" is in business. Sam gets a meager response until a shooting puts his picture in the paper and business starts to flourish. Particularly attracted to Marlowe's services are a collection of characters -- Gena (Michelle Phillips), an attractive Gene Tierney type; Commodore Anastas (Victor Buono), a Greek shipping tycoon and Sidney Greenstreet lookalike; and the mysterious Mr. Zebra (Herbert Lom doing a Peter Lorre imitation). They are all trying to find the famous Eyes of Alexander -- a priceless set of stones from a statue of Alexander the Great. Also on hand are old Hollywood pros George Raft, Yvonne DeCarlo and Mike Mazurki. ~ Paul Brenner, All Movie Guide

This quietly compelling film explores the hardships and anxieties of high school with intelligence, sensitivity, warmth and humor. Chris Makepeace stars as a shy, bookish student who has recently moved to Chicago and begun a new school. There he finds himself the target of a group of punks led by Matt Dillon (ideally cast as the weasel-like bully), who threaten him each day to turn over his lunch money for protection...or else. When he stands up to them, he nearly loses his dental work before being saved by Ricky Lindemann (Adam Baldwin), a hulking loner rumored to have murdered his own brother. Makepeace offers the boy a job as his bodyguard, and the two become unlikely friends -- that is, until the ousted bullies find a champion of their own who challenges Lindemann. When Lindemann refuses to fight back, he disappears into reclusion, and the bullying begins anew, worse than ever. Makepeace then learns the truth about Lindemann's past: he did indeed kill his brother, but the death was an accident while the two young boys were playing with a gun, and Lindemann lives tortured by guilt as a result. Just when things seem at their worst, the bodyguard returns to face his nemesis as Makepeace and Dillon square off in the final showdown of good versus evil. The real strength of the film is its handling of the relationships between its characters, particularly between Makepeace and Baldwin, and Makepeace and his family (Martin Mull and Ruth Gordon). My Bodyguard is light but thoughtful entertainment with a Rocky theme that's suitable for the entire family. ~ Jeremy Beday, All Movie Guide

Not only does star Rod Steiger bypass The Honor Guard on his resume; it is also ignored by virtually every chronicler of Steiger's career. Why? Wouldn't you want to see a low-budget Canadian film wherein ex-marine Steiger, unhinged by the death of his son in Vietnam, terrorizes a young couple (David Huffman, Robin Mattson)? Most American viewers didn't catch up with this turkey until it was telecast on the Showtime Cable service in the summer of 1983. Originally titled Wolf Lake, The Honor Guard is rated R for its violence and sex content. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

In this thriller, a baby-sitter is terrorized by an anonymous telephone caller who turns out to be a particularly persistent serial killer. When a stranger calls to ask, "Have you checked the children lately?" teenaged sitter Jill Johnson (Carol Kane) is understandably spooked. After a series of increasingly creepy calls culminates in a request for "your blood...all over me," Jill learns from the police operator that the man is calling from inside the house. One narrow escape and two dead children later, the police capture British maniac Curt Duncan (Tony Beckley). Several years later, the killer escapes from a mental institution and plagues Tracy (Colleen Dewhurst), a hard-drinking New Yorker. Foiled by John Clifford (Charles Durning), the same cop who investigated the original case, Duncan sets his sights back on his original victim, Jill Johnson, who, now married and out to dinner with her husband, has left her own young children at home -- with a baby-sitter. When a Stranger Calls helped inspire Drew Barrymore's famous opening scene in Wes Craven's Scream. Kane, Durning, and director Fred Walton would return for 1993's TV-movie sequel, When a Stranger Calls Back. Beckley died a year after the original film's release. ~ Brian J. Dillard, All Movie Guide

Cycle-flick veteran William Smith stars as the head of a highly trained US intelligence team, each with the requisite invaluable "special talent." Headquartered in Hawaii, the team aims its sights on a powerful crime syndicate. Since the syndicate's henchmen are all martial arts experts, a combination of brawn and brains will be required throughout. The title alludes to the seven mobsters who must be wiped out by Smith & company in order to collect their $7 million reward. One gag in Seven was later appropriated (unconsciously or otherwise) by Raiders of the Lost Ark. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

When millionaire Vincent Price dies, he leaves a riotous will which amounts to a scavenger hunt, the winner of which receives the entire willed fortune. So 15 potential heirs are sent on a zany quest where they must outrace and outsmart one another to inherit the big bucks. ~ All Movie Guide

Low-budget horror director William Girdler's last film stars Susan Strasberg as Karen Tandy, a San Francisco woman who develops a strange growth on her neck. After an operation fails because the doctor is forced to cut his own hand, Karen seeks out an Indian shaman (Michael Ansara), who tells her that the thing on her neck is the fetus of a reincarnated witch doctor. Eventually, Karen goes to the hospital and gives "birth" to a silly-looking creature played by Cousin Itt himself, Felix Silla. It runs amok in the building until boyfriend Tony Curtis figures out that his love for Karen can boost the hospital's electrical supply to zap the pesky beast. Generally acknowledged as one of the silliest horror films ever made, The Manitou should please camp buffs more than serious fans. ~ Robert Firsching, All Movie Guide