Noon Orsatti Movies

- 2009
- R
- Add Ninja Assassin to Queue
V for Vendetta director James McTeigue re-teams with that film's producers Larry and Andy Wachowski for this action-packed tale of a skilled assassin who was trained by a mythical secret society, and patiently awaits the day he will avenge the death of his best friend. Swept off the streets as a young boy, Raizo (Korean pop star Rain) is transformed into an unstoppable killing machine by a secret society known as the Ozunu Clan. The Ozunu Clan is so proficient at keeping their existence a secret that most people think they are only a myth, but the moment Ozuno assassins kill Raizo's friend, their days in the shadows are numbered. In the aftermath of that killing, Raizo stages a daring escape, subsequently biding his time until the day he can take the entire Ozunu Clan down.
Later, in Berlin, Europol agent Mika Coretti (Naomie Harris) discovers a money trail connecting multiple political murders to a mysterious network of elusive assassins from the Far East. While her superior Ryan Maslow (Ben Miles) orders Mika to back down and stop asking questions, she stealthily begins searching through classified agency files on a relentless mission to discover the truth about the murders. Singled out as a target as a direct result of her investigation, Mika is marked for death by lethal Ozunu assassin Takeshi (Rick Yune). Just as Mika is about to be silenced forever, Raizo saves her from certain death. But Raizo knows that Takeshi and the rest of the Ozuno Clan won't stop until he and Mika are both dead. Now, as Raizo and Mika are hunted through the winding streets of Europe, their only hope for survival is to trust one another and stay alive long enough to bring the Ozunu empire crumbling to the ground. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide
Later, in Berlin, Europol agent Mika Coretti (Naomie Harris) discovers a money trail connecting multiple political murders to a mysterious network of elusive assassins from the Far East. While her superior Ryan Maslow (Ben Miles) orders Mika to back down and stop asking questions, she stealthily begins searching through classified agency files on a relentless mission to discover the truth about the murders. Singled out as a target as a direct result of her investigation, Mika is marked for death by lethal Ozunu assassin Takeshi (Rick Yune). Just as Mika is about to be silenced forever, Raizo saves her from certain death. But Raizo knows that Takeshi and the rest of the Ozuno Clan won't stop until he and Mika are both dead. Now, as Raizo and Mika are hunted through the winding streets of Europe, their only hope for survival is to trust one another and stay alive long enough to bring the Ozunu empire crumbling to the ground. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Rain, Naomie Harris, (more)
Screen newcomer Joseph Cross portrays Augusten Burroughs in director Ryan Murphy's film adaptation of author Burroughs' best-selling personal memoir of the same name. A child of the 1970s whose alcoholic father Norman (Alec Baldwin) and delusional, unpublished poet mother Deidre (Annette Benning) serve as the dictionary definition of the word "dysfunctional," Augusten is sent by his mother to live with her eccentric psychiatrist Dr. Finch (Brian Cox) when his disagreeable parents ultimately decide terminate their turbulent marriage. Suddenly thrust into an environment that is as unfamiliar as it is unpredictable, young Augusten forms a curious relationship with the doctor's two whimsical daughters while learning to adapt and survive under even the most unusual of circumstances. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Annette Bening, Brian Cox, (more)
Three loosely interrelated stories of dysfunctional relationships are played for edgy laughs in this dark comedy drama from writer and director Don Roos. An unexpected assignation between stepsiblings Mamie and Charley results in Mamie becoming pregnant, with the child being put up for adoption shortly after birth. Twenty years later, Mamie (Lisa Kudrow) is approached by Nicky (Jesse Bradford), an aspiring filmmaker with an abrasive personality who claims to know where her long-lost son is living. However, there's a catch -- Nicky wants to shoot the reunion for the student film he's working on, and won't tell her about her child unless she agrees, though her lover, Javier (Bobby Cannavale), attempts to work out a compromise. Meanwhile, Charley (Steve Coogan), now out of the closet, has a longstanding relationship with Gil (David Sutcliffe), and the couple are involved in a legal battle over whether or not Gil's donated sperm produced a baby who has been adopted by a lesbian couple they know (Laura Dern and Sarah Clarke). And finally, Jude (Maggie Gyllenhaal) is a bohemian malcontent who becomes involved with Otis (Jason Ritter), a sexually ambiguous rock musician. Otis has a difficult relationship with his father, Frank (Tom Arnold), but when Jude meets Frank, she likes him fine -- in fact, she soon falls in love with him and leaves Otis for his dad. Happy Endings had its world premiere at the 2005 Sundance Film Festival. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Tom Arnold, Jesse Bradford, (more)
Writer/director Wayne Kramer offers a glimpse into the aging Las Vegas casino world with the romantic drama The Cooler. Bernie Lootz (William H. Macy) is extremely unlucky at gambling, and he owes the Shangri-La casino over 100,000 dollars. He is so unlucky that he is hired as a "cooler," someone to gamble next to high rollers and give them some of his bad luck to stop them from winning. This arrangement works out for awhile, until Bernie has almost paid off his debt and meets cocktail waitress Natalie Belisario (Maria Bello). The two start to fall in love and Bernie's luck begins to change. However, the old-fashioned mob boss Shelly Kaplow (Alec Baldwin) isn't going to let Bernie go so easily. Meanwhile, Larry Sokolov (Ron Livingston) arrives on the scene to help update the business management of the old mobster-run casino. Also starring Joey Fatone and Paul Sorvino as lounge singers. The Cooler was nominated for the Grand Jury Prize in the dramatic competition at the 2003 Sundance Film Festival. ~ Andrea LeVasseur, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- William H. Macy, Maria Bello, (more)
Noted hip-hop producer DJ Pooh, who co-wrote the urban comedy Friday, makes his directorial debut with this comedy-drama. A young African-American man is enjoying his freedom after his second stretch in prison. Under the "three strikes and you're out" law, another brush with the police could mean life behind bars, so he's determined to stay out of trouble. He quickly learns, however, that trouble has a way of finding him, no matter where he goes. DJ Pooh also stars in 3 Strikes, alongside N'Bushe Wright and Brian Hooks. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Brian Hooks, N'Bushe Wright, (more)
In this updated and gender-reversed variation on Cyrano de Bergerac, Janeane Garofalo stars as Abby, the host of a radio talk show for people who have problems with pets. One day, she gets a call from Brian (Ben Chaplin) who is having trouble with his Great Dane (who enjoys roller skating). After a few minutes on the phone, Brian is immediately taken with Abby, and she's certainly interested in him. However, while Abby is not unattractive, she's terribly self-conscious about her appearance. When he asks her for a description, instead of telling him she's a diminutive brunette with big brown eyes, she describes her neighbor Noelle (Uma Thurman), a tall, rail-thin, blue eyed blonde. When Ben sets up a date, Abby is frantic and convinces Noelle to take her place. However, while Abby sounds smart, witty and charming over the radio (or the telephone), Noelle speaks like -- well, I think the phrase dumb blonde is called for here. Brian becomes puzzled -- why is it Abby is so great on the phone but so inarticulate in person? And what's the story with her friend, the cute brunette who sounds so smart? Noelle is even more confused; she wants to help her friend, but she's finding herself falling for Brian as well. The Truth About Cats and Dogs gave Ben Chaplin his first role in an American film and Janeane Garofalo's first starring turn after several notable supporting performances. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Uma Thurman, Janeane Garofalo, (more)
In this crime drama, a detective and a widow pair up to solve a double homicide in Beverly Hills. A conniving French nanny seems to hold the key to cracking the case. ~ Sandra Brennan, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Teri Garr, Hector Elizondo, (more)
This ambitious Disney movie uses a remarkable screenplay from Steven L. Bloom and Robert Rodat to tell a rollicking tale of America's transition from a close-to-the-land culture of mythic heroes to a corporate world of real estate tycoons. The strong theme about the decline of folk culture is expressed through a series of high octane adventures experienced by 12-year-old Daniel Hackett (Nick Stahl) at the dawn of the 20th century. Daniel's father, Jonas Hackett (Stephen Lang), runs a farm in a place called Paradise Valley, but his land is coveted by a greedy developer, J.P. Stiles (Scott Glenn). Daniel looks longingly at postcards of New York City while growing increasingly skeptical of his father's tales of legendary folk heroes. Then, through a series of incredible adventures, Daniel meets up with the legends that his father has spoken about -- cowboy Pecos Bill (Patrick Swayze), lumberjack Paul Bunyan (Oliver Platt), and finally, ex-slave and strongman John Henry (Roger Aaron Brown). Each of these heroes hooks up with Daniel and becomes involved in an increasingly bitter and boisterous fight against Stiles, whose plans to buy up land threaten the very strength of the folk heroes and the well-being of the common people. Pecos Bill has a horse named Widowmaker and can lasso a tornado. The giant Bunyan is accompanied by his famous blue ox, Babe. At one point, another legend, the cowgirl Calamity Jane (Catherine O'Hara), joins in the adventures. ~ Michael Betzold, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Patrick Swayze, Oliver Platt, (more)
B-movie director Rafal Zielinski adds another sordid tale to his CV with this C. Thomas Howell vehicle. In the film, Howell plays a cop who gets involved with a murder witness, only to find out that she's part of an international ring of sex-for-hire beauties. ~ Michael Hastings, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- C. Thomas Howell
Johnny Depp was nominated for a Golden Globe for his astonishing performance in Benny & Joon, though the entire cast is equally impressive. Benny (Aidan Quinn) runs a small car repair shop. He must also take care of his mentally ill sister Juniper, better known as Joon (Mary Stuart Masterson). After losing a bet, Benny is forced to bring another eccentric into his house: Sam (Johnny Depp), the cousin of a friend. Not inclined to conversation, Sam expresses himself by performing Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton routines (and brilliantly!) Not surprisingly, he immediately hits it off with Joon. As Sam and Joon fall deeper in love, Benny for the first time in life experiences the pangs of jealousy. As can be gathered by this synopsis, Benny and Joon may not strike responsive chord with everyone; those who like the film, however, are almost militant in their devotion. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Johnny Depp, Mary Stuart Masterson, (more)
Anthony Michael Hall and Michael Pare star in this ridiculous rip-off of Top Gun and Rambo III. Hall plays Tom Slade, a Hollywood pretty-boy star who prepares for a film role by hanging around Air Force fighter pilot Paul Watkins (Michael Pare). Of course, Paul resents the Hollywood intrusion, but as the film unravels, he begins to respect Tom Slade. Paul begins by putting Tom through the wringer, and Tom manages to make it through the tough training regimen, but Paul gets his dander up when Tom makes a play for his girlfriend Major Goode (Deborah Maria Moore). Finally, Tom gets to ride in an F-16, and Paul puts on an aerial display that would rival the Blue Angels. Unfortunately, during the stunts the boys are shot down and end up in the Middle East where they are tortured by Bedouins. Tom and Paul have to combine their stunt tricks in order to escape the enemies clutches. ~ Paul Brenner, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Anthony Michael Hall, Michael Paré, (more)
Stephen King wrote his first original screenplay for this horror gore fest that features cameos by directors Clive Barker, Joe Dante, Tobe Hooper, John Landis, and King himself (playing a cemetery attendant). The story concerns a twilight people named "sleepwalkers" --creatures similar to vampires and werewolves whose faces turn animalistic whenever they are frightened or angry and who require the lifeforce of a virgin to survive. A single-parent sleepwalker family, consisting of Mary Brady (Alice Krige) and her son Charles (Brian Krause), have taken up residence in a small Indiana town. Charles has expressed a romantic interest in the attractive Tanya Robertson (Madchen Amick), a girl in his high school literature class. Mary wants Charles to lure Tanya home so that she can suck out her life force, but it appears that Charles has fallen in love with her --that is, until their first date, at a picnic at the cemetery. There Charles changes from a shy romantic suitor into a brutal and violent force, slapping Tanya around and attempting to rape her. But Tanya wards off his advances by plunging a corkscrew into his torso. Charles staggers back home to mother, where she nurses him back to health. Then Charles and his mother seek vengeance upon the Robertson family. ~ Paul Brenner, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Brian Krause, Mädchen Amick, (more)
In this film version of E. L. Doctorow's Billy Bathgate, Loren Dean plays the title character, a street-smart kid who inveigles his way into the confidence of 1930s gangster Dutch Schultz (Dustin Hoffman). Billy is ordered to look after Schultz' new moll, Drew Preston (Nicole Kidman), while Dutch fends off tax evasion charges and such up-and-coming rivals as Lucky Luciano (Stanley Tucci). Even though they know they're playing with dynamite, Billy and Drew fall in love. In attempting to escape Schultz' wrath, Billy succeeds only in putting himself in the thick of a gun battle between his boss and Luciano. When "Charley Lucky" emerges triumphant, Billy is forced once again to rely on his wits to escape being sent to the bottom of the briny in a cement overcoat. Bruce Willis shows up in an extended cameo as Dutch Schultz' former business associate. Billy Bathgate was adapted for the screen by British playwright Tom Stoppard. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Dustin Hoffman, Nicole Kidman, (more)
The 1987 portmanteau comedy feature Amazon Women on the Moon lampoons several film genres in general and the 1954 sci-fi cheapie Cat Women of the Moon in particular. Other sketches in Amazon Women include an opening bit with Arsenio Hall; a vignette titled "Son of the Invisible Man" wherein a naked Ed Begley Jr. runs around in full view of the nonplussed supporting cast; the It's Alive parody "Hospital", which offers the spectacle of Michelle Pfeiffer giving birth to Mr. Potato Head; and a Siskel & Ebert takeoff, featuring Arche Hahn as a TV viewer whose entire life is given a "thumbs down." Directed by several hands, including Joe Dante, Carl Gottleib, Peter Horton, John Landis, and Robert K. Weiss, Amazon Women on the Moon also features a satire of the Kroger G. Babb school of "sex hygiene" exploitation cheapies, with syphilis victim Carrie Fisher being counseled by unctuous doctor Paul Bartel. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Rosanna Arquette, Ralph Bellamy, (more)
In Allnighter, the viewer sees three roommates who are bound and determined to make the most out of their college graduation night. These fluffs go on a sexathon during their last big beach party, apparently trying to make their last fling a he-man thing. ~ All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Susanna Hoffs, DeDee Pfeiffer, (more)
Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello not only starred in the delightfully "retro" Back to the Beach, but also served as executive producers. Appropriately set 25 years after such drive-in faves as Beach Blanket Bingo, the film finds Frankie and Annette as husband and wife, living far from the surf 'n' sand in Ohio. Heading to California to visit their daughter Lori Loughlin, Frankie and Annette are appalled to learn that she has been keeping time with punker Tommy Hinkley. In time-honored fashion, our hero and heroine set about to make the beach safe for funlovers everywhere by driving out Hinkley's unsavory pals. Along the way, Frankie nearly bollixes up his marriage by dallying with Connie Stevens-one of several pop-culture icons appearing in Back to the Beach, including Don Adams, Bob Denver, Jerry Mathers, Tony Dow, Dick Dale & the Del-Tones , Stevie Ray Vaughan, and even Pee-wee Herman! Back to the Beach is fun for a while, but its six-person writing team can't figure out a logical way to wind it all up. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Frankie Avalon, Annette Funicello, (more)
After Billy Robinson (Robert Krantz) finds success as a professional motorcycle racer, he returns to his hometown where he faces adulation and jealousy as a result of his success. When a local motorcycle race is put together, Billy must compete against his best friend (Don Michael Paul) for the prize. ~ Iotis Erlewine, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Don Michael Paul, Kathleen York, (more)
Produced at the height of the teen sex comedy cinema craze in the mid-1980s, Secret Admirer (1985) was the directorial debut of David Greenwalt, who would later move from screwball comedy to horror with the television series The X-Files, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel. C. Thomas Howell stars as Michael Ryan, a high school student who receives an anonymous love note in his locker. Hoping that it's from Deborah Ann Fimple (Kelly Preston), a gorgeous but air-headed classmate who only dates college boys, Michael hatches a scheme with Toni (Lori Loughlin), who is friendly with both him and Deborah, to write her back. What Michael doesn't know, however is that the first letter was really from Toni, who has more than friendship in mind. In the meantime, the unsigned missives fall into the wrong hands, leading Michael's mother, Connie (Dee Wallace-Stone) to believe that her husband George (Cliff De Young) is having an affair with his night school teacher, Elizabeth (Leigh Taylor-Young), who is none other than Deborah's mother. George had better watch his back, however, as Elizabeth's husband is Lieutenant Lou Fimple (Fred Ward), a tough cop who's having a very bad week. As the romantic complications pile up, Toni becomes Michael's Cyrano de Bergerac, penning his letters but pining for him as he gets closer to winning Deborah over. ~ Karl Williams, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- C. Thomas Howell, Lori Loughlin, (more)
The third installment in the haunted-house saga discards any pretense of being based on actual events in order to provide the requisite cheap thrills sought by audiences during the short-lived 3-D revival of the early '80s. When a skeptical reporter (Tony Roberts) with a penchant for debunking phony psychic hoaxes moves into the Long Island house to disprove its nightmarish legend, he and his family are set upon by all manner of supernatural beasties. Many such manifestations leap wildly out at the screen to fully exploit the 3-D effect, making the cheap gags all too obvious in the "flattened" video and cable prints (often released under the title Amityville 3: The Demon). Remarkably violent for a PG-rated film (those with an intense fear of fire might want to fast-forward through Candy Clark's death scene), Amityville 3-D has a certain cheesy appeal for anyone who likes touring Halloween spook-houses. Look closely to spot a young Meg Ryan in a small doomed-teen role. This 3-D version was followed by even more sequels, including Amityville: The Evil Escapes, Amityville 1992: It's About Time, The Amityville Curse, and Amityville: A New Generation. ~ Cavett Binion, All Movie Guide
- Starring:
- Tony Roberts, Tess Harper, (more)


























