Joan Collins Movies

This weird British hybrid of The Exorcist, Rosemary's Baby and It's Alive! stars Joan Collins as a stripper who spurns the advances of a lecherous dwarf and is subsequently cursed by a monstrous baby -- which emits horrifying demonic howls and attacks everyone within reach, including his parents, his nanny and the family doctor (Donald Pleasence). A final exorcism is attempted by a nun (Eileen Atkins), for what it's worth. No clear explanation is given for the link between the spurned dwarf and the demonic influence placed upon the homicidal tyke (even the countless Italian Exorcist knock-offs usually maintained some sort of twisted logic), and the considerable potential for horror in the killer-baby concept is not explored thoroughly enough to keep viewers involved. Also released as I Don't Want To Be Born. ~ Cavett Binion, All Movie Guide

Alfie is an incorrigible womanizer who uses his trucking job as a way to commute from tryst to tryst as he makes his way across the women of the nation. Then he meets Townsend, a magazine editor. They have a lot in common; that is, she's as callous and fond of one-night stands as he is. An unlikely relationship builds between the two. But can they stick together? And what other dangers are waiting in the shadows? This sequel to the 1966 hit Alfie is also known as Oh Alfie on video. ~ All Movie Guide

The presence of Joan Collins in the cast to the contrary, the title of the Italian comedy Playing the Field is somewhat misleading. Lando Buzzanca plays a soccer referee, ever anxious to improve himself. This results in mucho slapstick on the soccer filed, with Buzzanca in the middle. Only Ms. Collins manages to escape the sloppy English dubbing. Playing the Field comes to life only during the actual soccer sequences; the script could just as well have been used for ground fertilizer. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

Essentially a reworking of their earlier omnibus Asylum, this is another anthology of pulp horror tales from Amicus, this one helmed by the ever-reliable Freddie Francis. It features a quartet of eerie vignettes involving four patients in the care of psychiatrist Dr. Tremayne (Donald Pleasence), who is attempting to justify his strange theories to a colleague (Jack Hawkins, who died shortly after his scenes were filmed) by explaining the horrific events that drove the patients to their current state. The first tale centers on a young boy (Russell Lewis), whose parents' constant squabbling prompts him to conjure an imaginary tiger to devour them. The second involves a Victorian-era bicycle which allows its finder (Peter McEnery) to travel back in time and live as his own ancestor. The goofy third chapter pits a jealous wife (Joan Collins) against a strange rival for her husband's attention: a tree possessed by a human soul. The final segment stars Kim Novak (a last-minute replacement for Rita Hayworth) as a literary agent who must sacrifice her own daughter (Mary Tamm) to appease the restless spirit of her client's mother. Although certainly not the studio's best effort, this is still an amusing diversion, featuring the standard twist ending and a flamboyant approach suggestive of EC horror comics. ~ Cavett Binion, All Movie Guide

A man uses his own mental powers to control one of the largest fortunes known to man. ~ Tana Hobart, All Movie Guide

Originally telecast February 16, 1972, the 60-minute Five Miles to Midnight is an episode of the Anglo-American TV adventure series The Persuaders. Tony Curtis and Roger Moore star as Danny Wilde and Lord Brett Sinclair, two millionaire playboys who double as private detectives. Laurence Naismith costars as Judge Fulton, their elderly mentor. In this installment, Danny and Brett get mixed up with an American mobster (Robert Hutton), on the lam from a hit man. The boys are aided and abetted by troublesome photojournalist Joan Collins. Filmed on location in the Italian Alps, Five Miles to Midnight was released to video in the early 1980s to capitalize on Ms. Collins' Dynasty fame. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

This dark drama unfolds in an unnamed community outside of London, where a beleaguered and grief-stricken tavern owner named Jim Radford (James Booth copes with the rape and murder of his young daughter. The remainder of his family shares his distress, and in time, it begins to rip the clan apart. When the young man who is being tried for the crime is let off thanks to paltry connecting evidence, Jim grows desperate and teams up a buddy of his named Harry (Ray Barrett) whose daughter suffered from a like fate - presumably, though not definitively, at the hands of the same killer. The two hone in on the young man who they believe is responsible, kidnap him and torture him in a number of ways. Unfortunately, the youth will not talk and ends up dead. Moreover, in time it becomes apparent that this might not have been the correct individual. ~ Iotis Erlewine, All Movie Guide

Set in England, The Executioner stars American actor George Peppard as John Shay, a British spy. Shay is convinced that there's a double agent at large, and he's further convinced that it's his former colleague Adam Booth (Keith Michell). Having set himself up as judge and jury, Shay now intends to act the part of executioner. Also figuring into the proceedings (and displaying various degrees of guilt and innocence) are Joan Collins, Judy Geeson and Oscar Homolka. The talky script isn't given much in the way of visual dynamics by director Sam Wanamaker, but The Executioner manages to sustain an acceptable level of tension. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

Singer, songwriter, and actor Anthony Newley produced, directed, co-wrote, scored, and starred in this bizarre autobiographical musical in which a famous entertainer takes a look back at the circumstances of his life. Legendary singing star Heironymus Merkin (Newley) stands by the sea, surrounded by a small mountain of souvenirs of his life and times, with his mother (Patricia Hayes) and children (Tara Newley and Alexander Newley, Newley's real life daughter and son) by his side. As Merkin shows his captive audience reel after reel of footage from the story of his life, the film crew making the movie grows impatient, wishing Merkin was more cooperative and waiting for an ending to the script. We learn that Merkin was raised without a father, and his Uncle Limelight (Bruce Forsyth) encouraged him to become an entertainer at a young age. As Merkin enjoys a hit with the tune "Piccadilly Lilly" that catapults him to fame, he becomes partners with Goodtime Eddie Filth (Milton Berle), a cheerful demon who introduces Merkin to the pleasures of women. As Merkin stumbles into a short-lived marriage with Filigree Fondle (Judy Cornwell) and enjoys a more successful relationship with Polyester Poontang (Joan Collins, Newley's spouse at the time), he finds it difficult to resist the temptation to bed nearly every attractive woman who crosses his path, and develops a lifelong obsession with the young, innocent, yet nubile Mercy Humppe (Connie Kreski). Meanwhile, Merkin is frequently visited by The Presence (George Jessel), who seems to hold the power of life and death as he cracks one old joke after another. Also starring Stubby Kaye, Victor Spinetti, and Margaret Nolan, Can Heironymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe And Find True Happiness? was rated X for its original release in 1969, though a slightly edited R-rated version was soon shipped to theaters, though it didn't prevent the film from becoming a critical and financial flop. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide

Guest star Joan Collins plays the title character in this offbeat Mission: Impossible episode. While on a particularly delicate recovery mission, Phelps is shot, wounded and left for dead. Upon awakening, he finds that he has been nursed back to health by the beautiful Nicole. Despite being trained to trust no one, Phelps begins to fall in love with Nicole--while she pumps him for information on behalf of her boss, enemy intelligence officer Anton Valdas (Logan Ramsey). Written by Stuart Hagmann, "Nicole" first aired on March 30, 1969. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

CIA agent Donovan (Gene Barry) travels to Britain to untangle a web of international spies. He falls for the estranged wife of local secret agent Langley (Tom Adams). Anne (Joan Collins) starts a romance with Donovan before her son is kidnapped by rival agents. While any other mom would worry herself sick, Anne spends her time getting her hair done and selecting a fabulous gown in which she appears in the following scenes. Donovan narrows the suspects down to a trio of agents, all who may have reason to turn double agent and place their country in political turmoil with counter espionage. ~ Dan Pavlides, All Movie Guide

LAPD detective Sgt. Tom Valens (David Janssen) is a ten-year veteran of the force who has had more than his share of hard luck lately -- his marriage is a wreck, and he hasn't fully recovered from a serious wound suffered in the line of duty a year ago. He and his partner, Sgt. Ed Musso (Keenan Wynn), are working a stakeout one night at the Seascape Apartments, in hope of catching a killer who has already claimed three victims in that part of the city, when he confronts a man seemingly trying to sneak off the premises. The man tries to run, stops when ordered but starts to pull a gun, and Valens shoots him dead. The deceased turns out to be Dr. James B. Ruston, a well-known humanitarian and pillar of the community -- worse yet, the police can't find any trace of the gun Valens says he saw Ruston pull. Valens' nightmare builds gradually, as he's first assigned to a desk, then hung out to dry by an indifferent coroner (Carroll O'Connor) at an inquest, suspended from the force, and then indicted for manslaughter by a crusading prosecutor (Sam Wanamaker) with a personal ax to grind. Villified in the press and by protesters in the street, Valens has few even slightly sympathetic ears around him -- his partner, his captain (Ed Begley Sr.), and his soon-to-be-ex-wife (Joan Collins) -- and even fewer allies. The one attorney (Walter Pidgeon) with enough juice to fight the case on an even footing with the DA says he would only plead him guilty and try for a deal, based on his understanding of the law and of juries; and the one public pundit (Steve Allen) who takes his part is doing so for the most cynical of reasons. Valens realizes that the only way to save himself is to first prove that the so-called victim wasn't quite the candidate for sainthood that he seemed -- why did he run? -- and to find the missing gun. To do all of that, he's got to confront the victim's aggrieved patients (Lillian Gish), his alcoholic widow (Eleanor Parker), and his employees (Stefanie Powers), all of whom have every reason to hate Valens. He starts to dig into the doctor's finances and finds some anomalies that no one can explain (or wants to look at -- they'd rather hang Valens), and as he puts together the pieces of the puzzle, helped by a sympathetic tenant at Seascape (George Grizzard), Valens finds himself pursued by the doctor's thug of son and his friends with mayhem on their minds -- and someone else with a deadlier agenda. ~ Bruce Eder, All Movie Guide

This was the last trip in the "road" comedies that Bob Hope, Bing Crosby, and a bevy of female stars that featured Dorothy Lamour once made famous. In this road to Hong Kong and parts far beyond, Chester and Harry (Hope and Crosby) are a couple of failed vaudeville stars looking for a way to riches in the confidence game. Chester's memory goes kaputz, and the two end up involved with Diane (Joan Collins), a spy looking for a secret formula, and a bunch of hoodlums who plan on sending up a rocket to the moon with special equipment allowing them to rule the planet earth. The pair of heroes gets caught in the rocket instead of the originally intended monkeys, and the monkey business continues in outer space -- where it seems to be all along. In this mixed collage of events, several stars pop up in cameo roles: Peter Sellers, Dean Martin, David Niven, Frank Sinatra among them. ~ Eleanor Mannikka, All Movie Guide