Brad Logan Movies

With a cast starring such comic veterans as Harvey Korman, Anne Meara, Jack Weston and Tim Conway (who also wrote the script), and executive produced by Mike Nichols, it is normally a safe bet that hiliarity will ensue. Unfortunately, this sure thing does not pay off and is disappointingly dumb as it tells the tale of four luckless gamblers who in desperation borrow a large sum for a local loanshark so they can bet on a particular horse. Unfortunately, they bet on the wrong nag and suddenly the foursome must scramble around for quick cash before the loanshark's thugs show up for some bruising payback. ~ Sandra Brennan, Rovi

With the whimsical tagline "Jack Deth is back and he's never been here before," director Charles Band melds Blade Runner, The Terminator, and Jingle All the Way for this low-budget science fiction adventure. The story takes place in Angel City in the year 2247, when enforcer Jack Deth (Tim Thomerson) has just retired from the weekly grind after vanquishing villain Martin Whistler (Michael Stefani) and his roving cohorts, called "trancers." But Whistler and his trancers have gone back to Christmas 1985, with the insidious plan of exterminating the ruling council by killing off all the council members' ancestors. So Deth agrees to go back in time to get Whistler and the trancers all over again. To do so, he must transfer his memory into the body of one of his ancestors, who in this case has just had an erotic interlude with the perky and attractive Leena (Helen Hunt), who works as a Santa's elf at a shopping mall and gets to wear a skimpy, tight-fitting elf suit. Deth discovers that Whistler has taken over the body of the police inspector and has started transforming the Los Angeles population into trancers --including Santa Claus. With Leena's help, Deth sets out to even the score. ~ Paul Brenner, Rovi

Archie is thrilled when he is considered for membership in a championship bowling team. He is less thrilled to discover that his principal competition is a top-notch black bowler. Taking heart in the fact that the rest of the team is as bigoted as he, Archie is not quite prepared for the surprises in store. The script was written by former Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In gagmeisters Allan Katz and Don Reo, from a story by Don Nicholl. "Archie and the Bowling Team" first aired on December 16, 1972. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi

Lana Turner takes the lead in the seventh film version of Alexandre Bisson's glossy soap opera. Holly Parker (Turner) is married to respected diplomat Clay Anderson (John Forsythe), but his busy schedule prevents them from seeing each other very often. Distracted and lonely, Holly allows her head to be turned by carefree playboy Phil Benton (Ricardo Montalban), who dies in a freak accident during an assignation. In a panic, Holly contacts her mother-in-law, Estelle Anderson (Constance Bennett) and asks what she should do. Estelle, a joyless woman who has never cared for her daughter-in-law, tells Holly that unless she wants to destroy her husband's life and career, she should flee the country and never return. Tearfully, Holly follows Estelle's advice, leaving behind her young son. Many years later, Holly has fallen on hard times; addicted to drugs, she scrapes out a meager living as a prostitute in a cheap hotel in Mexico. Devious criminal Dan Sullivan (Burgess Meredith) tries to involve Holly in a blackmail scheme; at the last minute, she finds out that Clay is the target, and she kills Sullivan. She cannot afford to hire a lawyer to defend her, so she is assigned a dedicated young public defender, whom she soon recognizes as her son, Clay Anderson, Jr. (Keir Dullea). Not wanting Clay, Jr. to know her true identity, Holly is tried as "Madame X," but she has trouble keeping her composure given the trial and her mixed joy and shame at seeing her son. Madame X was Constance Bennett's first film in 12 years and the last she would ever make; she died of a cerebral hemorrhage shortly after completing her work on the picture, nine months before it was released. ~ Mark Deming, Rovi

The Touchables is an undistinguished, soft-core film with a thin plot to string together various nude scenes into an approximate story. At the center of the action is an accountant hiding out in a dubious-looking female spa. He blew the whistle on some gangsters for tax evasion, and now they want to get even. As the accountant is chased and fumbles around in the sauna and swimming pool and work-out room, females in various stages of undress are always around. Since the setting is supposedly 1932, the women manage to keep the lower half of a bikini on, which is interesting considering the bathing suits of that time. ~ Eleanor Mannikka, Rovi