Jon Paul Jones Movies
Homer's sprawling tale of love and war in ancient Greece comes to the screen in all its grandeur in this epic-scale adventure. In 1193 B.C., Paris, Prince of Troy (Orlando Bloom), has fallen in love; however, the beautiful woman who has beguiled him is Helen, Queen of Sparta (Diane Kruger), who is wed to King Menelaus (Brendan Gleeson). While Helen is hardly immune to Paris' charms, this doesn't blunt Menelaus' fury when Paris steals her away from him. Menelaus' brother Agamemnon (Brian Cox), the power-hungry king of the Mycenaeans, is eager to expand his empire through Troy to the lands of the Aegean Sea, and he uses Paris' romantic slight against Menelaus as an excuse to wage an all-out war against the great walled city. Priam, King of Troy (Peter O'Toole), summons his armies, led by Prince Hector (Eric Bana), to meet the onslaught of Agamemnon's forces, but while the great city has yet to yield in a battle, Agamemnon has a formidable ally -- Achilles (Brad Pitt), a mighty and seemingly unstoppable warrior whose presence could tip the scales in Agamemnon's favor. Sean Bean, Julie Christie, Saffron Burrows, and Rose Byrne highlight the film's supporting cast. ~ Mark Deming, Rovi
- 1990
Not so much a sequel to the John Sayles-scripted Alligator as a shoddy remake, this sophomoric low-budget effort plays like a bad TV movie about a swamp-dwelling alligator mutated to monstrous size by toxic waste, munching on the screaming residents of a lakefront community. The naughty polluter who caused this mutation is the property developer himself (Steve Railsback, playing such a cookie-cutter villain that he might as well have a "BAD GUY" sign around his neck). An embarrassed Joseph Bologna plays the cop investigating the mutilation murders; an equally-ashamed Dee Wallace Stone plays the scientist assisting him, who is conveniently married to him as well. In an attempt to remedy the situation, a big-game hunter (Richard Lynch) is called in to bag the beast. When his efforts fail, it's left to Bologna to pick up the pieces -- literally -- and take charge of the situation when the big reptile decides to take in the grand opening of the local amusement park. From a nonsensical script to cheesy special effects that make the beast look like a pool toy, this film shows none of the cynical charm and sly wit that made Alligator so enjoyable. ~ Cavett Binion, Rovi
- Starring:
- Joseph Bologna, Woody Brown, (more)
Love, treachery, and broken furniture are the hallmarks of this rollicking action drama. Dalton (Patrick Swayze) has a Ph.D., but rather than make a living teaching Socrates at some university, he's opted to become a top-drawer "cooler" -- an expert barroom bouncer who can break up fights without getting himself killed in the process. Dalton is hired to keep the peace at the Double Duce, a rough-and-tumble honky tonk in Jasper, Missouri, where beer-soaked free-for-alls are a nightly event. Dalton is hurt on his first night on the job, and he is patched up by "Doc" Clay (Kelly Lynch), a beautiful woman working as the town's physician. Dalton and Doc immediately hit it off, but Dalton learns that another man, Brad Wesley (Ben Gazzara), already has his eye on her. Wesley is a man used to getting his way; he's an extortionist and crime boss who has nearly everyone in Jasper under his thumb, and he sets out to teach Dalton a lesson, while Dalton is determined to clean up the town like he breaks up brawls at the Double Duce. Sam Elliott plays Dalton's mentor Wade, and Red West, a one-time member of Elvis Presley's "Memphis Mafia," appears as Webster; Canadian blues-rock guitarist Jeff Healey leads the Double Duce house band. ~ Mark Deming, Rovi
- Starring:
- Patrick Swayze, Kelly Lynch, (more)
John Carpenter wrote and directed this science fiction thriller about a group of aliens who try to take over the world by disguising themselves as Young Republicans. Wrestler Roddy Piper stars as John Nada, a drifted who makes his way into an immense encampment for the homeless. There he stumbles upon a conspiracy concerning aliens who have hypnotized the populace through subliminal messages transmitted through television, magazines, posters, and movies. When Nada looks through special Ray-Bans developed by the resistance leaders, the aliens lose their clean-cut "Dan Quayle" looks and resemble crusty-looking reptiles. Nada joins the underground, teaming up with rebel-leader Frank (Keith David) to eradicate the lizard-like aliens from the body politic. ~ Paul Brenner, Rovi
- Starring:
- Roddy Piper, Keith David, (more)
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