Joseph S. Griffo Movies

Scary Movie screenwriters Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer join forces to parody the "biggest" movies ever to hit the silver screen in this comedy that gives such popular box-office hits as Pirates of the Caribbean and Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe the same treatment that Scary Movie gave to the slasher subgenre. A virtual smorgasbord of spoof, Epic Movie tells the tale of four fully grown orphans: one the victim of snakes that attacked her plane, another raised by a kindly Louvre curator, the third a Mexican "libre" wrestling refuge, and the last an average mutant from an "X"-community. When the curious quartet visits a sprawling chocolate factory, they stumble across a magical wardrobe which transports them to the enchanted land of Gnarnia. It seems that the wondrous fantasy land has recently fallen under the spell of the evil White Bitch (Jennifer Coolidge), and in order to bring peace back to Gnarnia these four bumbling mortals will have to join forces with a charismatic pirate, a painfully sincere group of aspiring wizards, and one particularly libidinous lion. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide

Playwright Sam Shepard wrote and directed this bizarre combination of western film revisionism and Greek tragedy. Silent Tongue (Tantoo Cardinal) is a mute Kiowa who is raped by Eamon McCree (Alan Bates), the owner of the Kickapoo Traveling Medicine Show. Eamon attempts to make up for his crime by marrying her, hoping for forgiveness. Instead, Silent Tongue enacts a bitter retribution through her two daughters, Awbonnie (Sheila Tousey) and Velada (Jeri Arredondo). Awbonnie, as the film begins, has already died, but her grieving husband Talbot (River Phoenix) refuses to let her go, dragging around her corpse. To assuage Talbot, his father Prescott (Richard Harris) sets out to purchase Velada from Eamon, thinking that only Awbonnie's sister can replace her in Talbot's eyes. But Velada's half-brother Reeves (Dermot Mulroney) protests the attempted transaction. As a result, Prescott kidnaps Velada and flees, with not only Reeves and Eamon chasing him, but also Awbonnie's ghost. ~ Paul Brenner, All Movie Guide

The manic writing-directing comedy team of Tom Stern and Alex Winter (the latter of Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure and Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey) followed up their deranged short-film collaborations and the short-lived MTV series The Idiot Box with this comic fantasy, which amounts to a virtual car crash of anarchic, mind-blowing weirdness. The brain-damaged plot follows self-centered sitcom actor Ricky Coogin (Winter), official spokesman for the E.E.S. (Everything Except Shoes) corporation, into the jungle-bound South American nation of Santa Flan. Coogin has been sent as an emissary on behalf of E.E.S. to placate the media uproar over a substance called Zygrot-27, a chief ingredient in many E.E.S. products which has been decried as a fatal environmental toxin. Accompanied by his friend Ernie (Michael Stoyanov) and environmental activist Julie (Megan Ward), Ricky takes a detour into the jungle to a bizarre amusement park overseen by bombastic barker/inventor Elijah C. Skuggs (Randy Quaid), who specializes in the display of "Hideous Mutant Freekz" (the film's original title). The trio soon discover that Skuggs manufactures his oddities himself, and they find themselves at the mercy of his hideous freakmaking factory -- which coincidentally uses Zygrot-27 as a catalyst. Once he has the hapless heroes strapped down, Skuggs reveals his intention to transform Coogin into an evil mega-freak who will destroy all the others in a slam-bang, standing-room-only closing event. Miffed at the notion of sustaining an acting career as a spine-covered, pus-gushing monster, Coogin joins a rebellion within Skuggs' captive stable of other man-made freaks -- whose ranks include such monstrosities as effete human worm; a bearded lady (Mr. T in a frilly dress); a man with a sock-puppet for a head (voiced by Bob Goldthwait); and Ortiz the Dog-Boy (an uncredited Keanu Reeves). Their plans to turn Ricky into a zygrot-powered superhero go astray, however, leading to a hilariously apocalyptic finale. Doomed to home-video status by lethargic distribution from Twentieth-Century Fox, this unappreciated gem deserves a second look; packed with hilarious visual gags, ultra-gross setpieces and body-function jokes, Freaked is a hallucinogenic funhouse of a movie. ~ Cavett Binion, All Movie Guide