Joe Gieb Movies

Scary Movie screenwriters Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer join forces to parody the "biggest" movies ever to hit the silver screen in this comedy that gives such popular box-office hits as Pirates of the Caribbean and Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe the same treatment that Scary Movie gave to the slasher subgenre. A virtual smorgasbord of spoof, Epic Movie tells the tale of four fully grown orphans: one the victim of snakes that attacked her plane, another raised by a kindly Louvre curator, the third a Mexican "libre" wrestling refuge, and the last an average mutant from an "X"-community. When the curious quartet visits a sprawling chocolate factory, they stumble across a magical wardrobe which transports them to the enchanted land of Gnarnia. It seems that the wondrous fantasy land has recently fallen under the spell of the evil White Bitch (Jennifer Coolidge), and in order to bring peace back to Gnarnia these four bumbling mortals will have to join forces with a charismatic pirate, a painfully sincere group of aspiring wizards, and one particularly libidinous lion. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide

Part of a pointless string of sequels ostensibly based on the werewolf novels by Gary Brandner, this entry deserves credit for taking the creatively dead series in an interesting new direction. Set in the barren rural town of Canton Bluff, the story centers on the enigmatic figure of Ian (Brendan Hughes), a likeable but severely solitary drifter who takes a job making repairs to the local church. Eschewing human contact, Ian seems unnaturally leery of the impending full moon, a fear shared by a man named Harker (Bruce Payne), the owner of a sleazy traveling carnival. Aware that Ian is a genuine werewolf, Harker is able to blackmail the young man into working for his carnival, where he is put on display with other human oddities. To further complicate matters, Harker is revealed to have a monstrous secret of his own -- he's a vampire, who sees Ian's condition as a cover for preying on the blood of local folk. In a nod to Tod Browning's Freaks, Ian joins forces with the other carnival freaks to destroy their evil master. Director Hope Perello's taut, suspenseful debut makes clever references to classic horror films without lapsing into parody or imitation, and the production has a classy look and feel, helping to shrug off the unpleasant stigma normally associated with the otherwise mediocre Howling franchise. ~ Cavett Binion, All Movie Guide

Low-budget horror director William Girdler's last film stars Susan Strasberg as Karen Tandy, a San Francisco woman who develops a strange growth on her neck. After an operation fails because the doctor is forced to cut his own hand, Karen seeks out an Indian shaman (Michael Ansara), who tells her that the thing on her neck is the fetus of a reincarnated witch doctor. Eventually, Karen goes to the hospital and gives "birth" to a silly-looking creature played by Cousin Itt himself, Felix Silla. It runs amok in the building until boyfriend Tony Curtis figures out that his love for Karen can boost the hospital's electrical supply to zap the pesky beast. Generally acknowledged as one of the silliest horror films ever made, The Manitou should please camp buffs more than serious fans. ~ Robert Firsching, All Movie Guide