May Heatherly Movies

Spanish hack Rene Cardona, Jr. (of Aztec Mummy fame) directed this gory rip-off of The Birds (not a parody as its goofy title suggests) which follows a reporter/photographer team (Michelle Johnson & Christopher Atkins) as they investigate frequent reports of lethal bird attacks on humans. They eventually conclude that the attacks -- which are increasing in size, frequency and severity -- are part of an orchestrated avian plot against mankind. They could have saved themselves a lot of trouble by screening Hitchcock's classic chiller beforehand, just as viewers expecting a spoof of that film can save themselves the grief of enduring this bloody exercise, which pulls no punches in its graphic depiction of flesh-rending bird attacks. Gore-hounds should approve, as the makeup effects are painfully convincing, but die-hard Cardona fans may be disappointed to learn that no lady wrestlers actually step in to swat at the winged tormentors. ~ Cavett Binion, All Movie Guide

Half zombie epic, half cannibal gorefest, this unusual blend of two popular Italo-horror subgenres results in a high-octane thriller that delivers the gory goods. The story involves a group of former Vietnam POW's who contract a bizarre disease in captivity which compels them to eat human flesh. Needless to say, this makes assimilation into post-war American life rather difficult as the gestating disease takes hold on the returning veterans, whose cannibal instincts eventually fight their way to the surface. One such victim is commando Norman Hopper (John Saxon), who is bitten by one of the POW's during a rescue mission and carries the gestating contagion back home. When the soldier who bit him (John Morghen) is released from a veterans' psychiatric hospital after apparently being cured, he makes brief phone contact with Saxon before succumbing to an immediate relapse, leading to a gory rampage and subsequent shootout with police. When Saxon begins feeling the urge to munch -- first developing an appetite for the teenage cupcake next door -- he springs his fellow cannibals from the hospital, leading to another bloody confrontation with the police -- this time in the city sewers. Director Antonio Margheriti (alleged ghost-director of Andy Warhol's Blood for Dracula and Flesh for Frankenstein) manages to fuse crime-thriller conventions with gory cannibals-in-the-streets horror without losing viewers' interest, although the drastically-edited video version (under the title Invasion of the Flesh Hunters) suffers badly from the absence of Gianetto De Rossi's chunk-blowing makeup effects. The dialogue, while better than the average Italian post-dubbing job, is so overloaded with profanity that it becomes unintentionally hilarious. Released under a dozen titles, the best-known being Cannibal Apocalypse. ~ Cavett Binion, All Movie Guide

A man's failure to help auto accident victims, due to his fastidiousness about getting his brand-new car bloodstained, haunts him. Because of that prissiness he didn't move swiftly enough, and the victim's car blew up before he could bring himself to help whoever was trapped inside. As time goes by, he obsesses about the accident and begins hallucinating non-existent blood stains in his car. Eventually he gets so distracted that he suffers a similar accident himself. ~ Clarke Fountain, All Movie Guide

Filmed in 1971 under the title The Widower, Love and Pain and the Whole Damn Thing finally reached the screen in 1973. Set in Spain, the film stars Timothy Bottoms as the aimless son of doctor Charles Baxter. While bicycling through the Spanish countryside, Charles makes the acquaintance of much-older Lila (Maggie Smith.) He falls in love with her, but she is resistant. Eventually touched by Charles' clumsy sincerity, Lila invites him to bed. The film then wanders into Love Story territory when Lila is afflicted by a terminal illness. Director Alan J. Pakula completed Love and Pain and the Whole Damn Thing during the "cooling off" period between his more famous Klute (1971) and The Parallax View (1974). ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide