James Bacon Movies

With a cast starring such comic veterans as Harvey Korman, Anne Meara, Jack Weston and Tim Conway (who also wrote the script), and executive produced by Mike Nichols, it is normally a safe bet that hiliarity will ensue. Unfortunately, this sure thing does not pay off and is disappointingly dumb as it tells the tale of four luckless gamblers who in desperation borrow a large sum for a local loanshark so they can bet on a particular horse. Unfortunately, they bet on the wrong nag and suddenly the foursome must scramble around for quick cash before the loanshark's thugs show up for some bruising payback. ~ Sandra Brennan, All Movie Guide

In The Man With Bogart's Face, an affectionate send-up of the Bogart detective films of the 1940s, Robert Sacchi plays a man who idolizes Humphrey Bogart so much he has his features altered to look exactly like his idol. He then opens up a detective agency under the name Sam Marlowe (an amalgam of the names of Bogart's characters from The Maltese Falcon and The Big Sleep). Sam hires the Duchess (Misty Rowe) as his secretary ("She looked like Marilyn Monroe and made about as much sense as Gracie Allen") and "Sam Marlowe, Private Eye" is in business. Sam gets a meager response until a shooting puts his picture in the paper and business starts to flourish. Particularly attracted to Marlowe's services are a collection of characters -- Gena (Michelle Phillips), an attractive Gene Tierney type; Commodore Anastas (Victor Buono), a Greek shipping tycoon and Sidney Greenstreet lookalike; and the mysterious Mr. Zebra (Herbert Lom doing a Peter Lorre imitation). They are all trying to find the famous Eyes of Alexander -- a priceless set of stones from a statue of Alexander the Great. Also on hand are old Hollywood pros George Raft, Yvonne DeCarlo and Mike Mazurki. ~ Paul Brenner, All Movie Guide

Peter Ustinov plays the talented detective in San Francisco who attempts, with help/hindrance from his clumsy grandson (Richard Hatch), to solve a murder case in this mystery/comedy. ~ Kristie Hassen, All Movie Guide

A recently released mental patient may well wonder who the looney ones are in this drama that chronicles his strange homecoming. He has been gone many years and during that time, his father has married a very young woman. He then discovers that the maid is a full-blown witch, the cat has disappeared and finally the chauffeur is busily chasing after his newest mistress. ~ Sandra Brennan, All Movie Guide

Mae West (1892-1980) was perhaps the original comic sex goddess of American cinema. Originally a vaudeville performer, she became a national sensation following her 1926 Broadway show Sex, which she wrote, produced, directed and starred in. She continued to outrage the sensibilities of her time on Broadway before coming to Hollywood and doing the same there throughout the 1930s. She perfected her double entendre humor onscreen and gradually fell out of favor with an increasingly prudish film-going public, though her career underwent several brief revivals. Even as an extremely old woman, she affected the manners and dress of a reigning sex queen. The 1978 release of Sextette, based on her own original scenario, marked her final screen appearance. It was not well received by critics nor the public, and was an undignified note on which to end her sensational career. In this farcical and star-studded film, West plays the fading movie star Marlo Manners, whose attempts to consummate her marriage to Sir Michael Barrington (Timothy Dalton), her sixth husband, are humorously interrupted by the preceding five. Marlo is also dictating the unexpurgated story of her life, and when one of the tapes goes missing, it threatens to cause an international incident, as well as ruining a number of reputations (including her own). ~ Clarke Fountain, All Movie Guide

In this extremely violent copy of Dirty Harry, a cynical cop tires of seeing guilty crooks get off scott-free and so decides to leave the force and become a one-man vigilante force. ~ Sandra Brennan, All Movie Guide

This futuristic parody on television is made up of various sketches, and features some early performances of later well-known comics. ~ Kristie Hassen, All Movie Guide

This sex farce stars Angus Duncan as a lothario on a mission to sleep with five very different women. ~ Jason Ankeny, All Movie Guide

Russ Meyer followed-up his delirious Beyond the Valley of the Dolls with this surprisingly straighforward drama, which offered little of Meyer's traditional tongue-in-cheek humor or remarkably proportioned women in favor of a serious message about the evils of censorship. A bookstore sells a copy of a notorious erotic novel, entitled The Seven Minutes, to a teenager who is later arrested for rape. A prosecutor on a crusade against pornography seizes upon this as an opportunity to have the book declared obscene, and the trial sparks a heated debate about the issue of pornography vs. free speech, as well as revealing a startling revelation about the novel's true author. Adapted from a novel by Irving Wallace, The Seven Minutes featured one of Meyer's more interesting casts, including veteran character actors John Carradine and Alexander D'Arcy, a post-Munsters Yvonne de Carlo, a pre-Magnum P.I. Tom Selleck, lounge comic Jackie Gayle, and Wolfman Jack as himself. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide

Escape From the Planet of the Apes is the third in the series of films based upon the Planet of the Apes characters created by novelist Pierre Boulle. At the end of the second film, the centuries-in-the-future world colonized by simians was destroyed, but apes Cornelius (Roddy McDowall) and Zira (Kim Hunter) were able to escape in the space vessel left behind by 20th century astronaut George Taylor (Charlton Heston). Cornelius and Zira pass through another time warp, finding themselves in the Earth of the 1970s. When they reveal their ability to speak, the apes are first treated as curiosities, then as threats when the government, believing the story that the Earth will eventually be inherited by monkeys, tries to prevent the birth of Zira's baby. They are ultimately given shelter by sympathetic circus owner Armando (Ricardo Montalban). This film was followed by the fourth "Apes" entry, 1972's Conquest of the Planet of the Apes. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

Wayne Newton is the hero of the warm-hearted family feature 80 Steps to Jonah. The piping-voiced Newton is accused of car thievery, but who could doubt the sincerity of that angelic face? On the lam from the cops, he takes a job at a summer camp for blind children. Passing himself off as the new handyman the camp is expecting, the fugitive quickly ingratiates himself with the kids. Soon the cops come calling, but the falsely accused man is rescued by a last-minute confession. Veteran producer/director Gerd Oswald, previously a specialist in taut crime mellers, unexpectedly goes "cute" on 80 Steps to Jonah, though the end result is better than it deserves to be. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

Popular Mexican comedian Cantinflas (Mario Moreno) plays the title character in this star-studded, amusing comedy drama by George Sidney. Pepe is the same sort of impoverished stereotype Cantinflas made famous in several of his comedies; in this case he is a hired hand on a ranch who chases down a horse for his employer. A boozing Hollywood director buys a white stallion belonging to Pepe's boss and the determined ranch hand decides to take off for Hollywood to get the horse back. Once in this new and strange environment -- where a lot of cameos by the likes of Jimmy Durante, Frank Sinatra, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Bing Crosby, Maurice Chevalier, and many others enliven the action -- Pepe becomes a friend to the alcoholic director. Unfortunately, what is missing here is "Cantinfletico." That is the nickname for the rambling non-sequitur characteristic of Cantinflas that no one else could master. The film was originally released at 195 minutes, then edited down to 157. ~ Eleanor Mannikka, All Movie Guide