Lynn Cartwright Movies

Sometimes kids like to do things to gross out or shock their parents. This is only natural, but many companies exploit this tendency by creating toys to appeal to that childish joy in the disgusting. In the late '80s, a new kind of bubblegum card, the Garbage Pail kids, featuring caricature paintings, of ugly, unclean moppets with yukky names such as Greaser Greg and Valerie Vomit, Windy Winston, and Foul Phil, each with an offensive habit, found popularity. This hastily-assembled live-action film-- billing itself as a children's comedy-- was hastily assembled to capitalize on that popularity. Featuring midgets dressed up as the bubblegum card characters, it is the story of an antique collector and his assistant who find a mysterious garbage can from outer-space. The assistant ignores his boss's stern orders not to open the can and frees the Garbage Pail Kids. Now the two must somehow get the raunchy rugrats back into the can before they gross-out the world. Appalled parents found the film, even the very idea of it, so offensive that they launched a nation-wide protest that resulted in its withdrawal from circulation. You've been warned. ~ Sandra Brennan, Rovi

When faced with graduation, four seniors plot to prolong their college experience for fear of steady employment, but they're also loathe to leave behind their accommodating housemate Sylvia (played with mute, topless allure by a pre-Three's Company Priscilla Barnes), who functions as a live-in maid and concubine ("Where else are we going to find a nympho who loves to cook and clean house?"). In between sumptuous meals and bouts in the sack, the boys pester their parents to pay for post-graduate studies, without success. Luckily, a Poindexter science major named Arnold is desperate to lose his virginity to Sylvia, so the guys trade her sexual favors for his complicity in an elaborate scam. He's the only trusted assistant of reclusive genius Professor Heigner (Alan Reed, the voice of Fred Flintstone), a three-time Nobel Prize winner studying the mating habits of mosquitoes. Foundations are eager to fund the professor's work with generous grants, and since Heigner signs anything Arnold hands him without question, the seniors draft their own letter of request for cash and claim to be studying the sexual habits of college-age girls. It works, and with a 50,000-dollar-grant they offer coeds a 20-dollar honorarium to participate in the study by engaging in any kind of sex they like with our four heroes as the only male volunteers. Eventually, exhaustion and avarice lead them to expand the study and allow local businessmen to take part for a 50-dollar fee, which leads to huge profits. Only the intervention of "the establishment" will show the seniors the folly of their ways, when they enter into partnership with a feminine hygiene corporation and find themselves targeted for murder. The female head of the foundation that funds the seniors' project mistakenly believes that Professor Heigner is some sort of sexual dynamo and pursues him endlessly, leading the misanthropic scientist to chase her away by firing a rifle at her, spraying her with sticky white fire extinguisher foam, and setting a blaze beneath her while she frantically climbs up a chimney. Endless lines of co-eds wait breathlessly for the chance to copulate with strangers for a double sawbuck (it's all in the name of science, after all, and why not earn money for something they'd be "giving away" otherwise?). ~ Fred Beldin, Rovi

During a particularly oppressive heat wave, Officers Jim Reed (Kent McCord) and Pete Malloy (Martin Milner) answer several "routine" calls which yield surprising results. In one instance, a report of a theft culminates in a drug bust--and in another, a neighbor's complaint results in the capture of a killer. Also, the two mobile officers search for a missing cyclist and investigate a bogus-looking yard sale. The supporting cast features two of Hollywood's busiest African American character actors, Scatman Crothers and Joel Fluellen. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi

A young Steven Spielberg helmed the made-for-TV Something Evil. Johnny Whitaker (Family Affair) is cast as Stevie Worden, an angelic child whose parents move into a foreboding Pennsylvania mansion. It isn't long before Stevie is possessed with the house's resident demonic spirit. In anticipation of The Exorcist and The Omen, the spirit within Stevie never lets anyone know when it's going to strike -- but everyone knows full well when it does. Spielberg evokes horror throughout by contrasting the most terrifying events with the plodding commonplace of day-to-day life. Something Evil was Spielberg's last TV-movie assignment. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi

The Beatles are coming! The Beatles are coming! Or so the members of the Alpha Beta sorority who are trying to raise $10,000 during Spring Break to save their sorority house believe. When the Fab Four do not show, the ingenious girls must create a passable imitation by imitating them themselves. The Beach Boys also appear in this film with an especially choice scene of Brian Wilson singing around a campfire. Songs in this musical comedy include: "Leave Me Alone," "It's Gotta Be You," "I Don't Want to Be a Loser" (sung by Lesley Gore), "Lonely Sea, La Bamba" (performed by the Crickets), "Girls On the Beach," and "Little Honda" (sung by the Beach Boys). ~ Sandra Brennan, Rovi

This goofy but entertaining horror cheapie from producer-director Roger Corman and company involves the efforts of a questionable scientist working for cosmetics magnate Susan Cabot, who is developing a new rejuvenating beauty cream derived from an enzyme secreted by wasps, intended to make women look eternally youthful. A vain woman obsessed with restoring her lost beauty, Cabot insists on being the first test subject. The solution proves remarkably effective at first, transforming her into a sultry raven-haired vixen...until she begins to take on the predatory traits of a giant female wasp, setting out on a nocturnal killing spree. Originally double-billed with The Beast from Haunted Cave, this cheesy monster mash inspired the less-amusing Leech Woman and was later remade for 1980s audiences (i.e., with a higher sex-and-gore quotient) as Evil Spawn. ~ Cavett Binion, Rovi

This odd drama features Jack Nicholson, then only 21-years old, in his first feature film. He plays a young delinquent who thinks he may have killed one of the two thugs who were pursuing him. He hides out in a local drive-in where he takes three hostages and barricades himself and them in a storeroom. Police surround the place and try to negotiate with the frightened boy but even his friends cannot reach him. Meanwhile, the media has learned of the situation and soon a TV news crew arrives followed by a crowd of spectators. Soon concessions are being sold, and the event becomes a circus. ~ Sandra Brennan, Rovi