Mark Burns Movies

This effective crime caper involves an attempted robbery of no one less than the U.S. Army, a heist which has its beginnings when Turpin (Stanley Baker) is drummed out of the service for his black-market activities. Apparently chaffing at this unjust treatment and also fueled by greed, Turpin enlists two cohorts -- Swavek and Fenner (Helmut Schmid and Tom Bell) to help him carry out his revenge. After much rehearsal of his plan, the three put on uniforms and walk into an army camp just before the troops are mustered out to the Middle East during a crisis over the Suez Canal. The trio's intention is to rob the payroll ($700,000), stash the cash in a spare tire, and drive out of there. That is the plan, but the reality turns out quite different, after one of the three gets a reaction to a vaccination and another is called up for KP duty ("kitchen police"). ~ Eleanor Mannikka, All Movie Guide

After Griffin Dunne's wife Brooke Adams is injured in a car crash, Dunne begins an affair with Adams' nurse Karen Young. You think that takes gall? Dunne also becomes best friends with Young's boyfriend Marty Watt. Believe it or not, Griffin Dunne is the most likeable character in the movie. After testing poorly at 110 minutes, Almost You was whittled down to 96 minutes. Those who have trouble wading through this prime example of mid-1980s self-indulgence are advised to keep an eye out for the brilliant monologist Spalding Gray in a supporting role. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

Death is a Woman is the American title of the British Love is a Woman. Patsy Ann Noble is the woman in question, the mistress of a recently deceased smuggler. Narcotics agent Mark Burns goes undercover to gain the confidence of Noble and criminal mastermind William Dexter. Suddenly, Dexter turns up dead and Burns is arrested for murder. We then learn the full significance of the film's US title. In certain markets, this perplexing melodrama was released as Sex is a Woman. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

Michael Winner directs a curious amalgam of his own Death Wish and Abel Ferrara's Ms. 45, in this intense, post-feminist serial-killer movie, based on the bestseller by Helen Zahavi. After an explosive love affair crashes and burns, Bella (Lia Williams) leaves London for Brighton, where she begins to receive a series of obscene telephone calls from her deranged neighbor. Soon her neighbor also begins to stalk her. When the local police refuse to help her, Bella determines to take the matter into her own hands. Finally, at the urging of a loony Asian clairvoyant (Ian Richardson), Bella sneaks into the stalker's apartment in the dead of night and beats him to death with a claw-hammer. And to Bella's surprise, she finds that she likes it. ~ Paul Brenner, All Movie Guide

The imprisoning aspects of Success are humorously analyzed in this British-made film. Oliver Reed plays a wealthy advertising man who feels he has sold his soul and wishes to return to his happier earlier existence as a poor but swinging Londoner. Reed is goaded on by his boss, Orson Welles, who represents all the mercenary crassness that Reed despises. Handed a crucial commercial account, Reed plans to destroy himself by producing as offensive and confusing an ad campaign as possible. But Welles and the client are delighted by the "insult," and the disgruntled Reed is more successful than ever. Directed in the fragmentary "psychedelic" style typical of the late 1960s, I'll Never Forget What's'is Name gained notoriety upon its initial release by being the first mainstream British film in which the "F" word was spoken on-screen. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

In this complex British mystery, an undercover narcotics agent go to the Mediterranean to foil the plans of two smugglers. Upon arrival, one of the partners is beaten and killed by a man and his mistress. The disguised agent begins working to gain the trust of the remaining smuggler, but one day arrives to find him stabbed to death. Naturally, he is accused of the crime by the local detective. The agent's home organization then sends out another agent to help him. Together they learn that the mistress was the perpetrator of all the crimes. ~ Sandra Brennan, All Movie Guide

Watson (Mark Eden), Breed (Terry Palmer) and Hughes (Richard Gale) are three British sailors, serving on the HMS "Hood" during WW2. Granted shore leave, the three tars head to their respective homes, where each of them hears a bizarre radio report, announcing that the "Hood" has been lost at sea with all hands. In a subsequent premonition, two of sailors envision themselves going down with their ship. . .while the third apparently survives into old age. Without giving the game away, it can be noted that actor Robin Hughes appears as himself at the end of this episode, one of several One Step Beyond entries filmed in England. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

In this somewhat tasteless romantic comedy, a feuding but very wealthy married couple are planning their divorce while relaxing at luxury hotels in Yugoslavia. The husband hires a hitman to kill his wife, while his adulterous wife is trying to persuade one of her many lovers to do her husband in. Should these attempted murders not succeed, the husband will have to give in to his wife's attempts to blackmail him for his long-time incestuous affair with his sixteen-year old daughter. Since the daughter has her own lethal romantic agenda, things don't go quite as planned. ~ Clarke Fountain, All Movie Guide

Peter McEnery stars as Col. Etienne Girard, Hussar officer of the Napoleonic era. The story takes place during the Little Corporal's 1808 campaign in the Spanish peninsula. Col. Gerard's adventures include an ongoing war of nerves against Napoleon's forces, not to mention a steamy affair with one Countess Teresa Claudia Cardinale. "Nappy" himself is played by Eli Wallach, who certainly has the right temperament for the role, even though he's much too tall to be thoroughly convincing. Filmed in Spain, The Adventures of Gerard is based on characters created by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

During the ill-fated charge of British troops at Balaclava in the Crimean War, loyal soldiers who blindly followed orders were led to certain death. This is the fifth time the story has been told on film, but the actual event is an afterthought to the main plot. Snobbish aristocrats and ineffectual politicos combine with pompous blue-bloods to make decisions affecting 600 men thousands of miles away. A decidedly anti-war and satirical slant is presented, as inept generals stand knee-deep in bodies, each blaming the other for the fiasco. Vividly underscored here is the fanaticism, dedication, and blind loyalty which caused the total annihilation of hundreds of soldiers. This 5-million-dollar epic film recouped only 1 million after the initial release, leaving critics to compare the real-life disaster with the financial one suffered by the producers. Trevor Howard, John Gielgud and Vanessa Redgrave head the excellent cast. ~ Dan Pavlides, All Movie Guide

This French/Italian effort travelled under the titles Le Jour Et L'Heure, Il Giorno e L'Ora and Viviamo Oggi in Europe. In Great Britain, it was known as Today We Live. No matter the title, the film stars Simone Signoret as a world-weary French aristocrat who finds a purpose in life by joining the World War II Resistance. She is ordered by her fellow undergrounders to hide allied paratrooper Stuart Whitman in her own country estate. At first resenting this intrusion in her life, Signoret falls in love with Whitman, and together they try to escape into Spain. The Day and the Hour was based on a story by Andre Barret. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

Two brothers looking to avoid becoming pawns of the establishment come up with a better way of making a living -- through theft -- in this satiric comedy. David Tremayne (Oliver Reed) is a successful London architect, and his younger brother Michael (Michael Crawford) is weighing his options after being kicked out of school. The brothers share a bemused disgust with the world around them and a desire to get through life without the burden of labor; toward this end, one day they begin plotting an elaborate scheme to steal the British Crown Jewels. Mind you, they don't intend to sell them, or even keep them very long -- the idea is to return them after a week, simply to prove that it could indeed be done, and make themselves famous in the process. After studying the procedures of Scotland Yard's Bomb Disposal Unit, the inner working of the Tower of London's Jewel Room, and the London ambulance services, the Tremaynes come up with a foolproof plan -- they call in a bomb threat to the Tower, and they are able to enter the Jewel Room posing as men from the bomb squad. They then feign injury and are able to escape in an ambulance. It all seems simple enough, and it actually works, until Michael "forgets" his part of the agreement to take half of the responsibility for the theft. The supporting cast includes Edward Fox, Frank Finlay, and Harry Andrews. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide