Noah's Ark (1999) Reviews
- Starring:
- Jon Voight, Mary Steenburgen, (more)
- Director(s):
- John Irvin
- Theatrical MPAA Rating:
- NR
Member Rating
My RatingAverage Ratings
Member Reviews
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2 out of 2 people found this review helpful A 4th grade Christmas production is a step up from this incredible mistake. I didn't know if they were actually trying to make this a comedy which it seems like they were. However, then they were ... Read More A 4th grade Christmas production is a step up from this incredible mistake. I didn't know if they were actually trying to make this a comedy which it seems like they were. However, then they were trying to be serious. This is horrible on so many levels that I cannot figure out why hate-crime charges were not pressed on the director and producer. This is a human rights violation if you watch it. There isn't a soul on earth who could possibly find a reason to give this more than one star. Close this Review WAS THIS REVIEW HELPFUL? Yes | No | ||
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful Whoever wrote and directed this movie has gone way past "Poetic Licence" into the "blasphemy" zone! I love the story of Noah's Ark , but this version would not even begin to hold water! It is full ... Read More Whoever wrote and directed this movie has gone way past "Poetic Licence" into the "blasphemy" zone! I love the story of Noah's Ark , but this version would not even begin to hold water! It is full of mixed up stories and unbelievable actions! Let me give you one example. Noah is unable to build the boat as fast as God would like him to and he claims that his problem is that he cannot get anyone to help him and his boys build it. Therefore, God must help Noah out again! So, the next day, Noah goes to where he is building the ark and what does he find? Piles and piles of fresh cut lumber with letters and numbers on them to tell where they fit together!
One may be tempted to laugh at this version in some places until one realizes that this is God's Holy Word that is being distorted! I do not think that God appreciates that at all.
I emplore you who read this review, do not waste your time on this movie! Close this Review WAS THIS REVIEW HELPFUL? Yes | No | ||
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful Nothing like the bible. Noah lives in Sodom and is friends with Lot. Noah leaves before Sodom is destroyed. After the flood Lot and a group of others try to take the ark. Noah, his wife, and his sons ... Read More Nothing like the bible. Noah lives in Sodom and is friends with Lot. Noah leaves before Sodom is destroyed. After the flood Lot and a group of others try to take the ark. Noah, his wife, and his sons go through series of insanity. God's voice is british (I think) - my son and I laughed when we heard it. The effects are cheesy and the acting is horrible. Close this Review WAS THIS REVIEW HELPFUL? Yes | No | ||
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful It was a flop of Biblical proportions! The "unusual retelling" is justified at the beginning by the writers explaining that they took "poetic license". If I had remembered that it was the ... Read More It was a flop of Biblical proportions! The "unusual retelling" is justified at the beginning by the writers explaining that they took "poetic license". If I had remembered that it was the made-for-TV movie, I wouldn't have bothered. I admit, I had forgotten about it and it's horrible reviews at the time. But, I guess I'm like the "God" in the movie... "sometimes I make mistakes." I'm sure there's bound to be a listing of all the inaccuracies on the net. They're too numerous for me to even bother trying to list here. Close this Review WAS THIS REVIEW HELPFUL? Yes | No | ||
2 out of 3 people found this review helpful If you're looking for a story based on the bible, this isn't the one for you. This movie is based VERY LOOSELY on the bible. Although my daughter liked this movie, I had to make sure to explain ... Read More If you're looking for a story based on the bible, this isn't the one for you. This movie is based VERY LOOSELY on the bible. Although my daughter liked this movie, I had to make sure to explain that most of it didn't really happen that way. It was made into a comedy. In the bible, when the Lord destroyed everything by the flood, there was just Noah, his wife, 3 sons and daughter in laws. In this movie, a peddler comes paddling up on his boat to sell things. Then a deranged Lot and his boat load of tyrants come up later to try to take over the ark. Noah's sons and the 3 girls were constantly flirting and after each other (in this movie they weren't even married yet). It was just a horrible misdeed toward the true accuracy of the bible. I have to give it credit because there were some funny moments in the movie and my 6 year old laughed at times. As a Christian, I would NEVER rewatch this or recommend it to anyone. Lord help anyone who doesn't know anything about the Bible. Close this Review WAS THIS REVIEW HELPFUL? Yes | No | ||
0 out of 0 people found this review helpful This movie is full of innaccurate details that conflict with the original story found in the Bible. I am amazed that some great actors are in it! It was included in a two pack set at my local ... Read More This movie is full of innaccurate details that conflict with the original story found in the Bible. I am amazed that some great actors are in it! It was included in a two pack set at my local warehouse store. Fortunately the other movie was the one that I wanted! I won't even put it in my garage sale! To the trash it goes! I'm sorry I wasted my time watching it. I hope no one else does! Close this Review WAS THIS REVIEW HELPFUL? Yes | No | ||
0 out of 0 people found this review helpful This movie was very Biblically incorrect. Bible characters were used but not following scripture at all. Example: Noah was not the one who rescued Lot from Sodom. Sodom was way after the Flood. ... Read More This movie was very Biblically incorrect. Bible characters were used but not following scripture at all. Example: Noah was not the one who rescued Lot from Sodom. Sodom was way after the Flood. The movie had God build the ark overnight, just to name a few. Close this Review WAS THIS REVIEW HELPFUL? Yes | No | ||
0 out of 0 people found this review helpful There is not one redeeming quality about this film. It is wrought with terrible acting and liberal agendas working its way throughout. But most importantly, this film is outright blasphemous and offensive to those who believe in God as revealed in the Bible. God is portrayed as some unsure of himself, being who admits to making mistakes and taking things too far.WAS THIS REVIEW HELPFUL? Yes | No |
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