Michael Billington Movies

Never released in the theaters, this film consists of a series of short skits and parodies of television and the movies, and stars Richard Belzer, Martin Mull, and Harry Shearer. The film's 1981 production date explains the presence of Joan Hackett, who died in 1983. ~ Iotis Erlewine, All Movie Guide

While dictating his memoirs, Higgins (John Hillerman) flashes back to 1976, the time of his last meeting with his old friend and fellow British secret agent David Worth (played by Patrick Macnee of The Avengers fame). Unfortunately, David seems to have gone a bit balmy, and is now convinced that he is none other than Sherlock Holmes, on a mission to solve a murder. Humoring David along, Higgins agrees to act as his "Dr. Watson"--only to discover that the murder is all too real, and that he and David may be next on the hit list! ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

Though not Ian Fleming's most famous James Bond novel, 1962's The Spy Who Loved Me was distinguished by the unique device of telling the story from the heroine's point of view; in fact, Bond doesn't make an appearance until the book is two-thirds over. This would hardly work in the film world's Bond franchise, so the original austere plotline of the novel was eschewed altogether in favor of a labyrinthine story involving outer-space extortion. The leading lady, a "hard-luck kid" in the original, is now sexy Russian secret agent Barbara Bach, who joins forces with Bond (Roger Moore, making his third appearance as 007) to foil yet another megalomaniac villain (Curt Jurgens), who plans to threaten New York City with nuclear weaponry. Beyond the eye-popping opening ski-jump sequence, the film's best scenes involve seven-foot-two Richard Kiel as steel-toothed henchman Jaws. Fifteen scriptwriters worked on The Spy Who Loved Me; only two were credited, including Bond-film veteran Richard Maibaum. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

While Olde England is being ransacked by roving Danes in the 9th century, Alfred (David Hemmings) is commencing to join the priesthood. But observing the rape of his motherland, he puts aside his religious vows to take up arms against the invaders, leading the English Christians to fight for their country. Alfred soundly defeats the Danes and becomes an English hero. But now, although Alfred still longs for the priesthood, he is torn between his passion for God and his lust for blood. After marrying the beautiful Aelhsweth (Prunella Ransome), he gives himself over to his dark side and aggressively rapes his wife. At this point, the Danes return and Alfred must muster the English forces once again for a decisive battle, but he also must battle his conflicting soul. ~ Paul Brenner, All Movie Guide