Get a Life: Chris Becomes a Male Escort (1991)

Chris Peterson (Chris Elliott) wakes up one morning and tells his beloved landlord, Gus (Brian Doyle-Murray), that he's going to get a job with the local escort service. The main appeal of the job for Chris is going to free plays. After noting that Chris has "a certain, goony, misshapen quality," the agency hires him and sends him out on his first job. When he realizes that the elderly Margaret (Dena Dietrich) is his date, he freaks out. Things get off to a bad start, and he tells his disgruntled client, "I'm sorry if I've been remiss in my duties, but your excessive age really knocked my ass out of whack for a second." After Chris makes his halfhearted apologies, the two are off to the theater to see a production of Equus starring Max Baer Jr. After the play, Chris is ready to go home, but Margaret has other plans, especially after she sees him do his famous "Alley Cat" dance. Despite Chris' offer to refund her money, and even clean her bathroom, Margaret has her way with him. Then she takes him on trips around the world and buys him expensive gifts. But one night, in the middle of Chris' own brand of love talk, an unexpected visitor arrives and threatens to destroy Chris' new life. This episode is notable for an unusually high number (even for this show) of pop culture references, including Horshack, Robert Conrad, Barry White, Chuck Connors, Red Dawn, Amazing Discoveries, and The Benny Hill Show. ~ Josh Ralske, Rovi