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No Such Thing (2001)

No Such Thing (2001)
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Beauty meets the Beast, and neither is sure just what to make of the other, in a modern-dress comic variation on the ancient folk tale, written and directed by the eternally offbeat Hal Hartley. Beatrice (Sarah Polley) works with the office staff of a sleazy tabloid TV news show, run by a harridan producer (Helen Mirren) eager for something other than the usual spate of violent crimes and natural disasters that are her show's bread and butter. The producer sends her camera crew to Iceland in search of something new and unusual, and they certainly find it when they run across a village that has its own monster (Robert John Burke), a large part-mammal and part-lizard with a short temper and habit of killing people who get on his nerves. The show's camera crew (including Beatrice's boyfriend) doesn't survive their first encounter with the monster, and Beatrice is sent to find out what happened to them. En route to Iceland, Beatrice's plane crashes into the waters off the coast, and while she survives the accident, a group of unsympathetic locals decide (after a few drinks too many) to take her to the monster's lair, where a grim fate doubtless awaits her. Except that the monster is a bit depressed and Beatrice isn't in the mood to take any guff from anyone; after the monster wonders aloud why folks aren't as frightened of him as they once were, he asks Beatrice to help him find Dr. Artaud (Baltasar Kormakur), a mad scientist who might be able to cure him of the curse of eternal life. No Such Thing received its world premiere at the 2001 Cannes Film Festival, where it was screened as part of the Un Certain Regard series. ~ Mark Deming, Rovi

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Starring:
Sarah PolleyRobert Burke, (more)
Director(s):
Hal Hartley
Theatrical MPAA Rating:
R
Format(s):
DVD
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Synopsis of No Such Thing

Beauty meets the Beast, and neither is sure just what to make of the other, in a modern-dress comic variation on the ancient folk tale, written and directed by the eternally offbeat Hal Hartley. Beatrice (Sarah Polley) works with the office staff of a sleazy tabloid TV news show, run by a harridan producer (Helen Mirren) eager for something other than the usual spate of violent crimes and natural disasters that are her show's bread and butter. The producer sends her camera crew to Iceland in search of something new and unusual, and they certainly find it when they run across a village that has its own monster (Robert John Burke), a large part-mammal and part-lizard with a short temper and habit of killing people who get on his nerves. The show's camera crew (including Beatrice's boyfriend) doesn't survive their first encounter with the monster, and Beatrice is sent to find out what happened to them. En route to Iceland, Beatrice's plane crashes into the waters off the coast, and while she survives the accident, a group of unsympathetic locals decide (after a few drinks too many) to take her to the monster's lair, where a grim fate doubtless awaits her. Except that the monster is a bit depressed and Beatrice isn't in the mood to take any guff from anyone; after the monster wonders aloud why folks aren't as frightened of him as they once were, he asks Beatrice to help him find Dr. Artaud (Baltasar Kormakur), a mad scientist who might be able to cure him of the curse of eternal life. No Such Thing received its world premiere at the 2001 Cannes Film Festival, where it was screened as part of the Un Certain Regard series. ~ Mark Deming, Rovi

Theatrical Feature Running Time:
103 mins

Complete Cast of No Such Thing


Director(s):
Hal Hartley
Writer(s):
Hal Hartley
Producer(s):
Hal HartleyFridrik Thór FridrikssonCecilia Kate Roque
Theatrical MPAA Rating:
R(Adult Language, Mild Violence)
Categories:
Sci-Fi & Fantasy
Warning:  This product is intended for mature audiences only. It may contain violence, sexual content, drug abuse and/or strong language. You must be 17 or older to purchase it. By ordering this item you are certifying that you are at least 17 years of age.

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    Member Reviews
     
    Claire I.

    The thing I liked about this movie was the cast of characters. The protagonist is sweet and temperate, her boss the epitome of media vulturism, the monster jaded and angry (not to mention foul-mouthed), and so forth. Sadly, the story's pace was tediously slow and the plot was fairly weak in my opinion. Low-budget films I can deal with, low-budget writing not so much. Frankly, I don't recommend it for much other than a likely candidate for Mystery Science Theater.

    Yes   |   No

     
    Brian K.

    I will be the first to admit that this movie is not for everyone. But is is better than a lot of studio pictures. First, any film with Sarah Polley in it is worth watching. Trust me. She is always understated in her performance, but the camera just loves her. Second, Robert Burke does an excellent job as the monster. He's funny, profane (sometimes gratuitously), and anguished all at the same time. The only real problem I have is the plot. It's muddied up a bit and the thread of the Beauty and the Beast angle is lost. This is a shame, because Hal Hartley has done a lot here on what is seemingly a low budget. And special kudos to the people who created the monster's makeup. All in all, this is worth watching. It takes a little imagination, and an understanding of the budget, to recognize why the ending is as it is. But some things can be left to the imagination without causing serious cerebral injury, can't they?

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    Joyce and richard G.

    We liked the movie it was a little slow but nicely acted. However the ending was very poor. leaving us both looking at another saying is that it! Not sure I can recommend the film because of that. Try if nothing else on but don't worry about the ending.

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